Discussion Don't rush your ctb

[Lost Magic]

I have seen a lot of posts stating how scared they are of ctb or how they don't know if they can do it or not. In my opinion, you are not ready to die. You should take stock of your life and see if it can be fixed. I myself am starting to become numb and calm about ending it all. I think, sometimes, you just know when your end is near. At least that's how I perceive it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Agreed. Need to make absolutely sure your life cannot get better before doing something. Cannot even have the slightest doubt that it will not.

 

[houseofleaves]

I myself am starting to become numb and calm about ending it all. I think, sometimes, you just know when your end is near.

I agree. I kinda feel it too, i think.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only the individual knows when it is the right time to leave after all, and the option to ctb is always there no matter what so of course there is no rush. I do not believe that it is always possible to not be scared, all humans are programmed to survive and ctb is very difficult after all. I would only feel calm about ctb if I could exit in a reliable and peaceful way.

 

[Foresight]

I know that calmness. Yes, I agree. In an ideal world but we don't live in an ideal world.

There was no greater calm than it. I actually miss that feeling. I knew it was right and it was time. It was a merciful and humane choice. That's the best suicide. When it's right, it's time, and it's set in order. I pray I allow myself to get back to that place before I go.

 

[thedaywillcome]

Cant be fixed! Lost!

 

[VoidDesirer22]

I myself am starting to become numb and calm about ending it all.

I relate, however I am still holding out for the anxiety I will feel on the last day.

This anxiety will not be evidence that I should continue living, but a normal bodily response to the uncertainty.

 

[PrincessInWhite]

Only the individual knows when it is the right time to leave after all, and the option to ctb is always there no matter what so of course there is no rush. I do not believe that it is always possible to not be scared, all humans are programmed to survive and ctb is very difficult after all. I would only feel calm about ctb if I could exit in a reliable and peaceful way.

this. I agree with this 1000%. I will never ever be "ready" or not deeply saddened and gutted that my life is over so soon. It's not because I haven't tried everything possible, it's because no matter how much I am able to accept the reality, the reality still makes me deeply saddened.

 

[Catloaf]

Not rushing means allowing my body to deteriorate to the point when I could no longer ctb successfully. Wish it wasn't the case but it is.

 

[SadJessu]

I don't know when I'll ctb, or even if, but I have been very close before and I know that feeling of total peace and numbness that comes with it. There is no anxiety, everything becomes very clinical. You don't really feel anything at all anymore, it's sort of like accepting things. This is how it was meant to be, and there wasn't anything anyone could do anyway.

 

[elbjr]

I have seen a lot of posts stating how scared they are of ctb or how they don't know if they can do it or not. In my opinion, you are not ready to die. You should take stock of your life and see if it can be fixed. I myself am starting to become numb and calm about ending it all. I think, sometimes, you just know when your end is near. At least that's how I perceive it.

I'm Curious, "is anybody out there?": Did that have any personal meaning for you? Or was it just random?

 

[its-about-time]

I'm Curious, "is anybody out there?": Did that have any personal meaning for you? Or was it just random?

Just nod if you can hear me

 

[UselessBeing]

I have seen a lot of posts stating how scared they are of ctb or how they don't know if they can do it or not. In my opinion, you are not ready to die. You should take stock of your life and see if it can be fixed. I myself am starting to become numb and calm about ending it all. I think, sometimes, you just know when your end is near. At least that's how I perceive it.

I totally get this. I had several times where i thought I was calm and ready but in reality wasnt and made things a bit worse at times.
I am having this feeling again. But its different. I want to die and Im ready to and I feel nothing about it. When before id get emotional scared ect. This is even after years of effort to "get better" . for me right now there is nothing that could keep me around there is no way things will ever go up from here and Im content with that.

With that being said while I understand we all want to CTB i still hope y'all get better endings than mine and maybe actually have a good life. My god everyone here deserves that.

 

[Lost Magic]

I'm Curious, "is anybody out there?": Did that have any personal meaning for you? Or was it just random?

It is from a Pink Floyd track that I like. It feels like no matter how hard you scream you won't always feel heard. Kind of like a silent scream. So, yeah, it does have some meaning to me. Good observation. In this case, I think a lot of you heard that scream and it is understood perfectly.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I know what you're saying, I do agree that assessing your situation as best as you can before making the decision is wise. There are 2 points I have about this idea though.

Firstly, it's that I may never feel ready, so I may be deliberating about ctb for a whole lifetime. And my lifelong deliberation would have ultimately just extended my suffering when I could have spared myself decades of potential unhappiness if I had just bitten the bullet.

Secondly, it's that we can't know what's going to happen in the future, we just have our best guess. If someone wants to live on their hopes that it could get better I respect that, but when does hope become cope? Some people would stick around forever in faith that things might change.

If someone has doubts which are based on the existing positives in their life making them less willing to ctb, I get that. Personally I have none of those, all of my doubt is due to the SI-based fear, particularly around pain.