Venting Don't mind me, I'm just venting

[Notwinnernotawin]

The main reason why I want to ctb is because I've been receiving death threats for a while, due to a false rumour being spread about me over a year ago. The rumour is another reason, but now somebody made up another lie, put words I never said in my mouth and now there's these dangerous people just waiting for me to go outside to end me in the worst way possible. My mom thinks they're saying this just to scare me, but I know it's not. I can't contact any family members because the ones who could possible care live far away and well I have an aunt that lives here and helped me a lot when shit went down for the first time, but she has a lot going in her life now and she doesn't need another problem. I'm afraid to call the police and it gets worse. I don't know why people are so mean to us when we did nothing to nobody. I could have tried to end my life again today, I was alone for about an hour, but I was afraid it wasn't time enough in case something went wrong. I'm waiting for the begging of the next month to do it, I'll be alone for over two hours. But I'm so scared and I can't stop crying and shaking and these walls are so thin people can hear me crying and it only gets worse, because it seems like the fact that I'm crying is somehow an offense. I'm sorry I just needed to vent, I won't even talk to my friends because honestly I don't know if I trust them and also they'd tell me to "run away" when I can't even go to my room without shrinking, because I can hear the chit chat from there. I'm in the living room surrounded by the sound of the TV from the time I wake from the time I go to sleep but I still can hear they talk. Only God knows how scared I am, but I don't even know why these things keep happening. I'm not a bad person, neither is my mom. We're always praying and helping even people who don't like us, but people still calling us things we're not and hurting us. I just wanted this to stop.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

First off don't be sorry for venting. Given your situation it's completely justifiable. Without getting into the specifics of what you're being accused of there is still a few things you can do.

You should definitely go to the police and report any threats on your life first off. Second I'd arm myself with a reliable knife or firearm for self defense. Third I'd stay out of the public eye and wait for things to calm down a bit.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

I'm sorry, for all this. Really, people hear about rumors and take it as an absolute truth without even questioning it. This is worse in our country, Brazil. People are actually much more ignorant and hostile here.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

First off don't be sorry for venting. Given your situation it's completely justifiable. Without getting into the specifics of what you're being accused of there is still a few things you can do.

You should definitely go to the police and report any threats on your life first off. Second I'd arm myself with a reliable knife or firearm for self defense. Third I'd stay out of the public eye and wait for things to calm down a bit.

First this person spread around town that I was involved with witchcraft and that I tried to kill this person who harrassed me with black magic. She did it on purpose because this person is also dangerous. And I didn't do it. And now somebody told this person I had an argument with (it was a pretty bad fight to be honest. My uncle had to hold me and I screamed a lot. I was at breaking point doing to a series of said harrassment and that person offended my mom touching a subject they shouldn't. They were wrong in first place) two years ago, that I said something bad about them, and now they want me dead. They're even talking about breaking in our house.
I can't talk to the police, because they're think we're crazy. We've reported people following us and entering our garage in the past, and since the walls are pretty high, nobody believed us. I also fear it wouldn't help at all or make things worse.
My mom walks around in the building we live now with a knife in hand, just in case. I'll start to do the same.
And there's no way for me to stay out of the public eye. We live in a building under construction, we have only one neighbor and people already talked badly about us to them. These walls are so thin you can hear everything people say, they hear me crying and tell people or say something mean about it. And sometimes I cry so loud even the people from the neighborhood can hear me. I'm trying to hold it back, but sometimes I just can't.

I'm sorry, for all this. Really, people hear about rumors and take it as an absolute truth without even questioning it. This is worse in our country, Brazil. People are actually much more ignorant and hostile here.

Yes they are. This "good citizen" ruined my life with her goddamn mouth out of nowhere just because she felt like it.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

First this person spread around town that I was involved with witchcraft and that I tried to kill this person who harrassed me with black magic. She did it on purpose because this person is also dangerous. And I didn't do it. And now somebody told this person I had an argument with (it was a pretty bad fight to be honest. My uncle had to hold me and I screamed a lot. I was at breaking point doing to a series of said harrassment and that person offended my mom touching a subject they shouldn't. They were wrong in first place) two years ago, that I said something bad about them, and now they want me dead. They're even talking about breaking in our house.
I can't talk to the police, because they're think we're crazy. We've reported people following us and entering our garage in the past, and since the walls are pretty high, nobody believed us. I also fear it wouldn't help at all or make things worse.
My mom walks around in the building we live now with a knife in hand, just in case. I'll start to do the same.
And there's no way for me to stay out of the public eye. We live in a building under construction, we have only one neighbor and people already talked badly about us to them. These walls are so thin you can hear everything people say, they hear me crying and tell people or say something mean about it. And sometimes I cry so loud even the people from the neighborhood can hear me. I'm trying to hold it back, but sometimes I just can't.

If you're within the US you could take out a restraining order against said person. I'm not sure how it works overseas.

The walls being thin may work to your advantage if someone tries to break in. There's nothing wrong with crying either.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

If you're within the US you could take out a restraining order against said person. I'm not sure how it works overseas.

The walls being thin may work to your advantage if someone tries to break in. There's nothing wrong with crying either.

It won't work. My mom took one about fifteen years ago to see if this man would stop to follow her and call her out on the streets. It never worked, he called her and said he would kill her and her entire family. My mom tried to convince the cops to erase it but they didn't. Then he put these people who harrassed us on her way. They're messing with us until this day.
I don't think anyone from the next apartment would help, but you're right. I'm trying to not cry in order to not only alarm my mom, but to stop me from hearing "she can cry how much she wants to, he will kill her anyway" and the jokes about it.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

It does work believe me lol. I've been locked up under false claims of RO violation. It helps if you have proof too though.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

It does work believe me lol. I've been locked up under false claims of RO violation. It helps if you have proof too though.

Exactly. That would only be possible if I recorded said person saying it, but it is impossible to record it if the audio isn't neat. Also when people talk about it they never mention his name, just mine, and could be anyone with that name. It's also illegal to record a conversation you're not in.
Also, that's Brazil. I can guarantee you that order is something you won't see, specially in small cities.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

If you're in brazil I honestly dunno what to tell you. Brazil is a murder capital and I wouldn't take any threats as a joke. I'd arm myself and prepare for anything.

I hope everything works out for you OP. Maybe someone else will have a better idea of what you should do at this point.

 

[ZardozOmega]

that sounds horrible

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

If you're in brazil I honestly dunno what to tell you. Brazil is a murder capital and I wouldn't take any threats as a joke. I'd arm myself and prepare for anything.

I hope everything works out for you OP. Maybe someone else will have a better idea of what you should do at this point.

Thank you for the suggestions and care. I'm praying nothing will happen to me until next week. This time I'll have to do it, screw my SI and anxiety. It's better than what they have in mind.

 

[Lunarhour]

This is all happening at school?

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Thank you for the suggestions and care. I'm praying nothing will happen to me until next week. This time I'll have to do it, screw my SI and anxiety. It's better than what they have in mind.

Yo, no worries, but you should still atleast arm yourself and lay low.

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

that sounds horrible

Trust me, it gets worse. I can't talk much, but those are just the recent events. Since I was 6 or 7 we don't know what's peace. And I'm 22, so you can imagine.

Yo, no worries, but you should still atleast arm yourself and lay low.

I will. Thanks.

This is all happening at school?

No, at home.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Dear @tiredofsuffering , I did some research in online markets, and the price of security cameras seems to be reasonable, somewhere around 50,00 to 400,00 (BR) reais. I believe you could hide them in lamps or discreet places. I see no problem with that, if it is something for your own safety and we cannot forget that you are being threatened with death. To make newsletters at the police station, it would be much more meaningful if you have proof, be it audio or video recordings. It would also be very important for you to be able to find a lawyer, you get this service for free at the public defender's office in your region.

Reading about it is very sad and revolting, I also live in Brazil and I understand how justice here sucks. We have to protect ourselves with our own teeth and claws. I hope this helps you in some way.

Estou torcendo por você

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

Dear @tiredofsuffering , I did some research in online markets, and the price of security cameras seems to be reasonable, somewhere around 50,00 to 400,00 (BR) reais. I believe you could hide them in lamps or discreet places. I see no problem with that, if it is something for your own safety and we cannot forget that you are being threatened with death. To make newsletters at the police station, it would be much more meaningful if you have proof, be it audio or video recordings. It would also be very important for you to be able to find a lawyer, you get this service for free at the public defender's office in your region.

Reading about it is very sad and revolting, I also live in Brazil and I understand how justice here sucks. We have to protect ourselves with our own teeth and claws. I hope this helps you in some way.

Estou torcendo por você

Muito obrigada pela preocupação, sério mesmo. Nós nunca tivemos câmeras porque já tentamos outros sistemas de segurança antes e eles foram danificados. No momento não temos dinheiro pra nada, eu não trabalho e minha mãe não está bem financeiramente. Mais mesmo assim, obrigada pela preocupação

 

[Deleted member 17331]

Muito obrigada pela preocupação, sério mesmo. Nós nunca tivemos câmeras porque já tentamos outros sistemas de segurança antes e eles foram danificados. No momento não temos dinheiro pra nada, eu não trabalho e minha mãe não está bem financeiramente. Mais mesmo assim, obrigada pela preocupação

Droga, eu compreendo. Isso é horrível. No momento estou desempregada e é muito difícil. Eu realmente sinto muito, tenho certeza que estar nessa situação é muito triste e cansativo. Eu não sei… Cara, que coisa chata. Eu estou triste agora, minha tia também foi acusada de bruxaria no passado e isso é tão bobo, sabe? Estamos em pleno século XXI e as pessoas ainda continuam perseguindo outras pessoas com percepções/pensamentos contrários ou criando boatos bobos e absurdos. Eu odeio este lugar.

Eu lhe desejo muita paz e conforto, mesmo que pareça impossível, eu realmente te desejo o melhor.

Se você sentir vontade de conversar ou desabafar, considere minha caixa de mensagens, ela está aberta para você. Enviando milhões de abraços

 

[Notwinnernotawin]

Droga, eu compreendo. Isso é horrível. No momento estou desempregada e é muito difícil. Eu realmente sinto muito, tenho certeza que estar nessa situação é muito triste e cansativo. Eu não sei… Cara, que coisa chata. Eu estou triste agora, minha tia também foi acusada de bruxaria no passado e isso é tão bobo, sabe? Estamos em pleno século XXI e as pessoas ainda continuam perseguindo outras pessoas com percepções/pensamentos contrários ou criando boatos bobos e absurdos. Eu odeio este lugar.

Eu lhe desejo muita paz e conforto, mesmo que pareça impossível, eu realmente te desejo o melhor.

Se você sentir vontade de conversar ou desabafar, considere minha caixa de mensagens, ela está aberta para você. Enviando milhões de abraços

Muito obrigada. Sinta-se abraçado(a) de volta