don’t get how people can get happy?

[lyiu]

i feel like my life is full of suffering and other peoples lives have to be the same- theres no way u genuinely can be satisfied and happy with ur life but somehow people can find it. do they know that these happy memories and emotions wont last forever? how do they find life worth living?? even though people dont have to necessarily "happy" they are still content which i still dont get how u can be that way? how the fuck do u not want to destroy yourself? how do u stay stable and not let ur mind kill u? i am fighting everyday and it doesnt feel fair.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I honestly think the vast majority of people are sleepwalking through life, and are unable to see the true nature of reality.
Either that, or they are too afraid to admit they are living in a realm of suffering and use lots of distractions as a coping mechanism.

 

[lyiu]

I honestly think the vast majority of people are sleepwalking through life, and are unable to see the true nature of reality.
Either that, or they are too afraid to admit they are living in a realm of suffering and use lots of distractions as a coping mechanism.

yeah i agree- i do things like dissociate all the time where i just cant pay attention to my reality but i feel like these people are different to where they probably have healthier brains ofc so they dont go to the breaking points like we do. it feels strange watching people u know just become fine while u think about extreme ways to relieve yourself. kinda feels like they are mocking me.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

yeah i agree- i do things like dissociate all the time where i just cant pay attention to my reality but i feel like these people are different to where they probably have healthier brains ofc so they dont go to the breaking points like we do. it feels strange watching people u know just become fine while u think about extreme ways to relieve yourself. kinda feels like they are mocking me.

True. I couldn't exist without the coping mechanisms of dissociation. I live in a fantasy world most days, because reality feels like a waking nightmare. Reality feels unnatural to me somehow.
I know what you mean about the so - called " normal people ". It's as though they are a different species to us suicidal folks.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

i feel like my life is full of suffering and other peoples lives have to be the same- theres no way u genuinely can be satisfied and happy with ur life but somehow people can find it. do they know that these happy memories and emotions wont last forever? how do they find life worth living?? even though people dont have to necessarily "happy" they are still content which i still dont get how u can be that way? how the fuck do u not want to destroy yourself? how do u stay stable and not let ur mind kill u? i am fighting everyday and it doesnt feel fair.

I don't get how people can be so happy either. I envy them so much. My life is full of suffering too. I feel so shitty right now, like I always do, but this time I don't even know why. Life is so exhausting

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I think it is a matter of perspective plus, the biggest thing, not having a lot of traumatic things happening in your life.
I was happy in the past, up to being 13 years old, and even though it's not the same as being happy as an adult, I know I was happy because life's problems were few and not very big. The small things in life brought me joy so I had no reason to be sad.

As an adult, I had periods of my life where I felt happiness, and the pattern repeated: I didn't have many problems during those moments and my perspective on life was more positive because of that. Good things happening also contribute to that.

I don't think others are delusional or not truly happy. I think they are happy because their problems are few and far in between or may be several but are simple to resolve, they also have good things happening for them so there is no reason to feel something other than contentment.

 

[lachrymost]

My mom has said she wants to identify the difference between me and those who enjoy life, in case there is anything to be done about it. When I have been happy, it was because good things happened to me—things in accordance with my desires. Desires which I don't seem to have much control over. Nothing with terrible, long-lasting consequences had happened recently, and anything like that in the past was no longer relevant. Today my life is completely out of whack with what I desire and happen to find comfortable, so I'm suicidal.

But why can't I accept what others can? There are also things I accept that others can't. Because we all have different tolerances and boundaries and desires, I guess? My mom gets really hung up on how there are people with worse lives than me (by our standards) who love them, so why can't I accept mine? It's annoying but she actually doesn't raise it belligerently. She's quite patient and wants to help me.

At this point, if I could change my preferences to adapt to love whatever was happening in real time, I would.

 

[CrazyDiamond04]

I think there's a fundamental difference. I look at how people act and a lot of it feels alien to me, like they just know something that I don't. It's very isolating.

 

[sanction]

Realistically speaking, with no bias at all, what is your estimated percentage of people that are actually happy with life, versus unhappy? And of course "happy" doesn't have to be some extreme joy 24/7, but at least reasonably happy/ satisfied

My guess is, in the whole world in general, I'd say 80% people are on the unhappy side, and maybe 20% are on happier side

 

[FuneralCry]

We cannot truly know how other people feel as we aren't experiencing this existence in the same way as them. But to me the whole idea of "happiness" in this hellish reality is very irrational. Existence is the true problem, it's such a curse to have the ability to exist as a conscious being who is capable of suffering endlessly. Existence is just an unnecessary and futile harm that causes so much senseless agony and torment.

 

[tiger b]

I wouldn't necessarily say being satisfied with one's life equates to happiness at all, but I guess it's how a person defines it themselves. I don't think anyone needs a reason at all to feel happy, even if it's only transitory, a tiny gap in the clouds. Is it pointless and irrational? Yeah! So what, if I can choose some happiness sometimes even though I know things are doomed for me, then I will, just because I might have that choice. Just the way I see it.

Happiness is a chemical reaction as a result of a state of mind.

 

[Meditation guide]

i feel like my life is full of suffering and other peoples lives have to be the same- theres no way u genuinely can be satisfied and happy with ur life but somehow people can find it. do they know that these happy memories and emotions wont last forever? how do they find life worth living?? even though people dont have to necessarily "happy" they are still content which i still dont get how u can be that way? how the fuck do u not want to destroy yourself? how do u stay stable and not let ur mind kill u? i am fighting everyday and it doesnt feel fair.

All happiness is temporary. Things are constantly changing. As sure as you find something to make you happy it will be taken away. Life is a tease that way. The mind is indeed the enemy. It wants to control and torment you. That's why it's good to firmly grasp the truth, that you are not your mind. You are much more than that, it's a tool that is useful for survival.
Buddhist saying: The mind is a good servant but a terrible master.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Realistically speaking, with no bias at all, what is your estimated percentage of people that are actually happy with life, versus unhappy? And of course "happy" doesn't have to be some extreme joy 24/7, but at least reasonably happy/ satisfied

My guess is, in the whole world in general, I'd say 80% people are on the unhappy side, and maybe 20% are on happier side

I would think 60% content and 40% unhappy, maybe less unhappy people possibly