ikiruNObungaku
I'm literary nonsense.
- Jan 3, 2026
- 79
Even through my endless feelings and yearning for suicide, I get moments that make me smile a little. I think because I am always craving death, it makes me appreciate the little things of life. Depression is the hardest hell to come out of because it makes you do nothing. You do not have the mental strength to do anything at all, not even take care of your hygiene. Not to do the things you hate, nor to do the things you love. But sometimes, I get small random moments where I think "maybe I can do this right now."
I recently did my laundry after a long time, but because I waited so long, there was a lot of clothes to fold. Looking at it made me feel weary. But I folded maybe ten things one day, and then I stopped. The next day, I did a little bit again. I kept doing that for many days. When I realized I had nothing left to fold, I had a smile on my face. It made me feel so nice to get that done, to think "I did it." I did not realize until then that I could even do things a little bit at a time, so I think I will put this into practice more.
Things like showering and brushing my teeth gets very difficult... but I have been getting better at it. I have been trying to put into practice doing recreational things a little bit at a time too. I feel a little pathetic to celebrate over things so minor, but it makes me happy when I can do it. No one else will understand that kind of celebration, but I know some of you will.
I hope you all can find the strength to do things a little bit at a time too.
I recently did my laundry after a long time, but because I waited so long, there was a lot of clothes to fold. Looking at it made me feel weary. But I folded maybe ten things one day, and then I stopped. The next day, I did a little bit again. I kept doing that for many days. When I realized I had nothing left to fold, I had a smile on my face. It made me feel so nice to get that done, to think "I did it." I did not realize until then that I could even do things a little bit at a time, so I think I will put this into practice more.
Things like showering and brushing my teeth gets very difficult... but I have been getting better at it. I have been trying to put into practice doing recreational things a little bit at a time too. I feel a little pathetic to celebrate over things so minor, but it makes me happy when I can do it. No one else will understand that kind of celebration, but I know some of you will.
I hope you all can find the strength to do things a little bit at a time too.