does your family deserve an explanation? (suicide notes/letters)

[loslassen]

I think the question is to be answered individually and personally for each person

I think if I go through with it, I will write several letters and one final one allowing my family to strip away all I was, passwords to both my accounts on here, my diary, my notes, books, music, content and media I enjoyed. I don't care about the privacy of my death much, I'll be dead anyway, but I think they might want to know where they went wrong and I'm just fine with that, it'd bring me peace knowing they would find out their mistakes since they couldn't acknowledge them during my living while. I'd also ask them to meet my boyfriend, give most of the stuff to him, I trust him more than them to keep those things safe, my iPad, phone, diary. I'm pretty sure they'd come to an agreement on how to split the stuff… it's sad, I know. Putting aside the pain they'd have to go through… for my family, I just hope their grief for me won't be more painful than the pain they caused me, or kinda I do, I'm not sure, it's a little cruel. I can't imagine the pain it'd cause my partner… I don't know if it's selfish ignoring it.

 

[Meteora]

In my personal case, I don't think so. My family is blind and no matter what explanation, they would twist it the way that they didn't do anything wrong. They're utterly incapable of acknowledging responsiblity, aka narcissists.

 

[momento.mori]

I think it's a personal choice for each individual. If that decision will bring you peace then I think it's a great idea for you! Personally I'm not, I've suffered so much in life in silence and if I ever decide to try again I wouldn't waste my last day writing letters. To hell with everyone, and I don't speak to them now so it would be easy to exit.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

No my family doesn't. They don't even believe that mental disorders are real.
I might leave one for my ex

 

[rozeske]

No, they don't. The only person that deserves one is my best friend, but I wouldn't be able to stop crying enough to write anything substantial.

 

[sserafim]

No my family doesn't. They don't even believe that mental disorders are real.

Same

 

[Todsünde]

Didn't talk to them for the past 3 years so I don't rly think there's a point in doing it now.
The weird part of feeling like I owe them still exists though and I guess it always will because of the connection you cannot deny as someones child.
It's weird to think about they won't know and there's quite the chance they believe I'm already dead since I disappeared without a trace. Anyway I don't think they'll get any kind of note from me and I'm pretty sure they know how much they fucked up.

 

[Death is my goal]

i don't know if they deserve it or not but i prob won't leave a letter. don't think it would change anything.

 

[halleyscomet]

For me, yes. I don't want to bring more pain to the world after I go. I want to ensure that I leave them with as much peace as possible - even the people that have wronged me.

 

[thenamingofcats]

No. I could write a proper novel about it and they would just say that I was crazy anyway and that's why I did it. I learned a long time ago that you can't reason with people without reason.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

In a manner of speaking yes, I'll notify them of my decision while alive but more in the "this is happening" way, which provides an opportunity to ask questions. I doubt the questions will really feel satisfying to me, or understanding, but I'm not gonna wait for better ones.

 

[Agon321]

My family deserves an explanation, but I'm not going to write a goodbye note.

I just hope that when I die I won't have to worry too much about my past.
In the present, I try to turn off any empathy and just focus on myself.
If I think about everything and everyone, CTB will be much more difficult for me.

At this point, selfishness defines me.

 

[lifewasawillowtv]

I'll save the spiel, no they don't.

 

[LifelessStranger]

Yes, but the thing is I won't give them one. (Didn't come up with one that they would understand.) Still I will write "Yes, that was a voluntary selfunaliving. Please cremate."

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yes, they deserve an explanation. I think that my parents at least will have a good idea as to why, but my other family members likely will not. Regardless, I want to try to ease the burden as much as possible. A note may help, or it may not, but it's worth a shot, I think.
I don't yet know if I will write one or multiple. I'm leaning toward one, simply because I probably lack the mental energy and executive functioning to write more than that. Other than that, I'm not sure what I can do.

 

[cursedbynature64]

I intend to leave a note, and a very long one at that. I want to make sure that any possible question is answered thoroughly. And I want to make sure that nobody that I care about will feel any responsibility for my decision. Anyone who has possible blame to be laid upon them are also those that will never read it

 

[theboy]

yes

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

In my personal case, I don't think so. My family is blind and no matter what explanation, they would twist it the way that they didn't do anything wrong. They're utterly incapable of acknowledging responsiblity, aka narcissists.

Yes and the more info narcs have the more fuel they have to use against you

 

[wtg]

No, they will be happy if i die and i dont think they will read it anyway

 

[J&L383]

I will let my million-word journal speak for itself, if they choose to read it.

 

[micheal7271]

No they don't they just want to believe what they want to believe and even if I write it they will probably just twisted it and think of me as a loser

 

[LunarLight]

No, it would be too hard to write for them. I plan to write a note for my partner only.

 

[DeathOfKane]

No.

 

[PleaseHelpMi]

5+ years ago i would have written one. Now though i won't bother writing.

 

[bugs_for_brains]

Not that they don't deserve an explanation, I just realise now that I'll never be understood as deeply as I want to be bc at the end of the day I'm the only one who has personally lived my life and lived with my brain for 18 years. So I think I'll leave the explanation out of it and just tell them they wouldn't understand anyway. Plus they have kinda severely fucked me up but I don't blame them fully (generational trauma) so I wouldn't want to make them feel even worse by mentioning that when they've got no shot at fixing it. And if I had to leave that part out, I'm not being honest because it's seriously something that impacts me daily. No point writing a dishonest note.

If i do write something, I'll probably just say goodbye and tell em I've known this was coming since practically my whole adolescence. Say sorry to my mum for promising her I wouldn't do it while fully intending to do it the whole time. Give them the lists of all the shows/movies I've enjoyed and mark my favourites and do the same with my playlists. Doubt my mum will gaf about any of them but my sister might check some out and hopefully it will help her feel closer to me

 

[razahcareca27]

not an explanation, but some words yes or maybe. we can work with many possibilities here, maybe I feel the need to say something and it's not about they

 

[Catch-22]

I've already wrote different versions I think just to get out the anger. I don't know if I will actually leave them.. I will figure that out the day I CTB. It's pretty evident why I chose to CTB. There will be no I'm sorry.. they are the ones that needed to say they were sorry but never would.

 

[Felodese]

Depends on your relationship with your family. Mine's not very good, but I'm thinking I'll leave a short note just to say "this is my choice".

If you love your family, leave a note saying that. If you hate them, don't leave one - or leave a spiteful one.

 

[DizzyFolfy]

My friends definitely deserves a lovely letter. They're going to be sad for a while, but I hope they find happiness again. They've been with me closer than my entire family for so long~

I couldn't bother making one if any for my family tbh.

 

[onbekend]

They deserve one, I just don't think It's worth the time. A note will only make the pain of whatever method I choose worse.
I'm sorry if it sounds egotistical or something - but in the end I'm doing them a favor.