Discussion Does this make me a bad person?

[bath salts]

I am sending my purchases to my friends house because whenever I send them to mine they redirect to the post office, and I barely leave my house (plus I have no car) so I end up never signing for them and all in all it's a waste of money. The problem is that I'm sending the items I will be using to ctb to my friends house. I know she will not check them, but will be suspicious. I feel so horrible for this because when I pass, I know she will blame herself for not checking those parcels. Am I a terrible person for doing this? Would writing her a separate and heartfelt note alleviate some of her pain or do the opposite... She has always been there for me for whatever I decide to do, so I want to make sure that she is ok before I leave her forever. I loved her at one point in my life, and honestly, I still do. I don't know what the right choice is.

 

[Laststop]

I am sending my purchases to my friends house because whenever I send them to mine they redirect to the post office, and I barely leave my house (plus I have no car) so I end up never signing for them and all in all it's a waste of money. The problem is that I'm sending the items I will be using to ctb to my friends house. I know she will not check them, but will be suspicious. I feel so horrible for this because when I pass, I know she will blame herself for not checking those parcels. Am I a terrible person for doing this? Would writing her a separate and heartfelt note alleviate some of her pain or do the opposite... She has always been there for me for whatever I decide to do, so I want to make sure that she is ok before I leave her forever. I loved her at one point in my life, and honestly, I still do. I don't know what the right choice is.

I think I know how you feel. I have the luxury of not directly involving any of my friends or family. At least, so far. But those people will be hurt anyway. I did however recently make trades for a more powerful pistol, and a pistol for a shotgun, that cover my CTB needs. If the people I made these trades with find out, I worry how they'll feel. One is a guy that owns a gun shop I've been a customer at for 20 years, and knows me. The other is a guy I don't know, but his shotgun is what I figure I'd use. So, having anyone else a part of what you do in CTB sets them into an elevated sense of regret. I suppose one way to look at it is you'll not have to suffer those feelings afterward. Or, that's my guess. I see CTB as having two issues. If there's anything more to suffer afterwards....somewhere....or what I would be doing to the people I leave behind. If you find solid answers, please do share. Otherwise take comfort in the fact we all are working without them too.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

At the very minimum, prepare a note for her, she would actually feel guilty if she realizes whar was in the post.

 

[bath salts]

I think I know how you feel. I have the luxury of not directly involving any of my friends or family. At least, so far. But those people will be hurt anyway. I did however recently make trades for a more powerful pistol, and a pistol for a shotgun, that cover my CTB needs. If the people I made these trades with find out, I worry how they'll feel. One is a guy that owns a gun shop I've been a customer at for 20 years, and knows me. The other is a guy I don't know, but his shotgun is what I figure I'd use. So, having anyone else a part of what you do in CTB sets them into an elevated sense of regret. I suppose one way to look at it is you'll not have to suffer those feelings afterward. Or, that's my guess. I see CTB as having two issues. If there's anything more to suffer afterwards....somewhere....or what I would be doing to the people I leave behind. If you find solid answers, please do share. Otherwise take comfort in the fact we all are working without them too.

I agree with you on those points. Definitely two of the most pressing issues I think about. If I do end up finding some answers, I will definitely share. It does comfort me knowing I'm not the only one struggling with this... Thank you :)

At the very minimum, prepare a note for her, she would actually feel guilty if she realizes whar was in the post.

Thank you for the advice. Will do :)

 

[Rose]

There are never any easy answers when it comes to things like this. Personally I don't think going about it this way makes you a terrible person, especially since you're trying to minimize harm.

As a complete stranger I can only speculate, but I'd think a note (especially if it's heartfelt & genuine) would be best in this situation. How she ends up processing that isn't under your control, but at least you'll have given her something to process.

 

[Worndown]

For all she knows you bought a butterfly net and socks. Unless she reads the packing slip it is your business.

 

[bath salts]

There are never any easy answers when it comes to things like this. Personally I don't think going about it this way makes you a terrible person, especially since you're trying to minimize harm.

As a complete stranger I can only speculate, but I'd think a note (especially if it's heartfelt & genuine) would be best in this situation. How she ends up processing that isn't under your control, but at least you'll have given her something to process.

Thank you, I really appreciate your kindness :) Also, thank you for your perspective on the note. It comforts me knowing that it will (hopefully) be easier for her to move on with her life.

For all she knows you bought a butterfly net and socks. Unless she reads the packing slip it is your business.

That is definitely true. Thank you for this response :)

 

[oopswronglife]

No you aren't a bad person. There is no way at all to exit this life without hurting those who care about you. No letters, words, doing or not doing will change it. As @Worndown said it's unlikely she would even make the connection anyway, but if she did it's not going to temper or worsen any grief.

Bad people don't concern themselves with the feelings of others. They don't have empathy, compassion, kindness in their toolbox.

 

[bath salts]

No you aren't a bad person. There is no way at all to exit this life without hurting those who care about you. No letters, words, doing or not doing will change it. As @Worndown said it's unlikely she would even make the connection anyway, but if she did it's not going to temper or worsen any grief.

Bad people don't concern themselves with the feelings of others. They don't have empathy, compassion, kindness in their toolbox.

Thank you so much. I feel a lot less guilt :)

 

[TimeToDie]

They say suicide is selfish yet here we have yet another member who's deeply concerned about her friend. I'm pretty sure the folks around here care so much about every living thing that they'll be sure to water the house plants before they CTB. A note could be helpful though worry that your friend might never notice that the suicide supplies were delivered to her unless you bring it up. I don't see a clear answer here.

@Laststop Same deep concern expressed for fellow gun owners. If that guy is the original purchaser of the shotgun I guess he'll find out when it traces back to him. I never previously thought about the tracing of suicide guns. Hopefully he won't be distressed since he had no way of knowing you were suicidal and had he not traded with you then you could have offed yourself with the 9mm. Hope he doesn't feel responsible for you being dead rather than surviving with severe injury from a mere 9mm. Pro-lifers would actually be twisted enough to believe that being a vegetable with a bullet in brain is better than instant death from blowing out a substantial part of brain & skull.

 

[andy69]

Do you think she might get in trouble with the law? Not to alarm you, but it might be an issue.

 

[Laststop]

They say suicide is selfish yet here we have yet another member who's deeply concerned about her friend. I'm pretty sure the folks around here care so much about every living thing that they'll be sure to water the house plants before they CTB. A note could be helpful though worry that your friend might never notice that the suicide supplies were delivered to her unless you bring it up. I don't see a clear answer here.

@Laststop Same deep concern expressed for fellow gun owners. If that guy is the original purchaser of the shotgun I guess he'll find out when it traces back to him. I never previously thought about the tracing of suicide guns. Hopefully he won't be distressed since he had no way of knowing you were suicidal and had he not traded with you then you could have offed yourself with the 9mm. Hope he doesn't feel responsible for you being dead rather than surviving with severe injury from a mere 9mm. Pro-lifers would actually be twisted enough to believe that being a vegetable with a bullet in brain is better than instant death from blowing out a substantial part of brain & skull.

We traded info in paperwork with the trade. But yeah. I do worry he'll let it bother him. I also don't like to do any damage to the 2nd Amendment, which is always under fire.

 

[bath salts]

Do you think she might get in trouble with the law? Not to alarm you, but it might be an issue.

I'm not sending N to her house for that specific reason lol. Just rope. Don't think she can get in much trouble for that, especially since our texts can prove she had absolutely zero knowledge :)