Does therapy help?

[liffey]

Sorry if this has been asked before.

I don't necessarily think I have a serious mental health disorder, since I've never had major depression / hypomania / mania episodes. I don't have problems physically or PTSD/CPTSD either. It's just that I've persistently had a low mood for well over a year out of nowhere - not that I can't feel happiness, but it's hard to come by and short-lived, as if something is keeping me in check. Sometimes, for a few days at a time, I get very desperate. The other times, I feel calm or even somewhat fulfilled, even though nothing has changed objectively.

Suicidal thoughts come and go, but they've never left me since a few months ago. I can never feel the highs, but the lows have gotten worse. Even when I'm logical, I still prefer nonexistence.
While I'm very fortunate to have friends who care about me, I don't want to disturb them with the same thing every time I don't feel alright. I'm not a fun person to be with nor do I bring much happiness to others either, and I don't want to push the few friends I have away.

The underlying problem is that I have nothing that I look forward to in life, and my concern about therapy is that it wouldn't help if I still can't find reasons to live within myself. What makes me hesitant is the fact that I don't objectively have any problems, and I don't feel depressed all the time. Therapy is expensive and I don't want others to know. It seems like many have had bad experiences with therapy and the worst possible outcome for me is to be forcibly hospitalized if I disclose my suicidal thoughts.

Hobbies and lifestyle changes won't alleviate the problem, as I don't have much of a lifestyle to begin with; when I feel down, I'm not interested in hobbies either. I've thought about writing a note in advance and having CTB methods at my disposal, so I can feel the comfort of being able to leave any time I want. Ironically, I've procrastinated doing so. Have they actually made anyone else feel relieved?

 

[orca87]

The underlying problem is that I have nothing that I look forward to in life,

Do you have any kind of relationships or connections? Like family, some friends, a romantic partner, children?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Do you have any life goals?

I was forced into therapy at 9 and it only made me worse and I regret ever cent and second spent over 20 years. In truth my problems were never ones that therapy could really help with. But my experience doesn't really have any bearing on the question of whether it could help you and unfortunately it's impossible to say whether it will or not. You'd just have to see for yourself.

 

[liffey]

Do you have any kind of relationships or connections? Like family, some friends, a romantic partner, children?

Family and friends yes, the latter two no. I honestly can't see how I can provide for a partner considering I'm not feeling that good myself.

Do you have any life goals?

I have some but I can't see how they will make me happy tbh. They don't really give me that much motivation, seeing how my past accomplishments didn't make me that satisfied.

But my experience doesn't really have any bearing on the question whether it could help you and unfortunately it's impossible to say whether it will or not.

I guess I'll have to see it for myself, thanks for your sharing anyways

 

[orca87]

Family and friends yes, the latter two no. I honestly can't see how I can provide for a partner considering I'm not feeling that good myself.

I get you. I've said it before on several occasions here. Most people here suffer from feeling disconnected, out of place, and not belonging anywhere.

The reasons for this can be of different natures, causes or symptoms, but in the end, it more often than not boils down to "being different", being "awkward" in social situations, lacking trust in other people, etc. This, in turn, makes connections to other people – be it platonic or romantic – almost impossible. Yet, as humans, we naturally crave this feeling of belonging. Experiencing "abandonment" from social groups inevitably triggers our bodies' fear-of-death mode. However, there is no "real" threat in our modern society. Most likely, you have shelter and food. Hence, we attach the label "depression" to such a state. Depression in and of itself is by no means measurable or has objective diagnostic criteria. All diagnosis is based on clinical symptoms. These symptoms are precisely the ones you are describing.

To me, it seems, that the "illness of depression" absolutely neglects its root cause, which is abandonment.

That being said, every therapy that targets treating depression is doomed to fail. Most likely, antidepressants have no effect at all. Most likely, any other therapy that tries to "reconnect" you with feelings of joy is doomed to fail, either. Here is why: The most common advice that you'll probably get is to start enjoying things for their own sake, just for you. That is just another way of saying "enjoy solitude".

Solitude, however, in contrast to loneliness, implies the choice of seeking company or pursuing things on your own.

Most people here feel they don't have this choice. Because they feel people turning away from them (either because they're socially awkward, don't trust people, or, in your case, feel that they cannot provide good company for others). In turn, "enjoying solitude" is impossible for these individuals. Because it would mean "enjoy loneliness". Loneliness is something that cannot be enjoyed. It's fundamentally against our brain's needs. "Normal" people simply cannot feel the pain and struggle it causes to build and keep relationships and eventually lose them.

Again, any treatment of "depression" that targets "improving quality of life" or "alleviating symptoms" is doomed to fail. In some cases, it can make it worse for two reasons: First, it may distract you from addressing the underlying root cause, and second, if you're using antidepressants, you'll most likely get nothing but side effects (which ironically include all forms of depressive symptoms).

The only way therapy could work is by trying to train you to build relationships with other people.

 

[liffey]

I get you. I've said it before on several occasions here. Most people here suffer from feeling disconnected, out of place, and not belonging anywhere.

The reasons for this can be of different natures, causes or symptoms, but in the end, it more often than not boils down to "being different", being "awkward" in social situations, lacking trust in other people, etc. This, in turn, makes connections to other people – be it platonic or romantic – almost impossible. Yet, as humans, we naturally crave this feeling of belonging. Experiencing "abandonment" from social groups inevitably triggers our bodies' fear-of-death mode. However, there is no "real" threat in our modern society. Most likely, you have shelter and food. Hence, we attach the label "depression" to such a state. Depression in and of itself is by no means measurable or has objective diagnostic criteria. All diagnosis is based on clinical symptoms. These symptoms are precisely the ones you are describing.

To me, it seems, that the "illness of depression" absolutely neglects its root cause, which is abandonment.

That being said, every therapy that targets treating depression is doomed to fail. Most likely, antidepressants have no effect at all. Most likely, any other therapy that tries to "reconnect" you with feelings of joy is doomed to fail, either. Here is why: The most common advice that you'll probably get is to start enjoying things for their own sake, just for you. That is just another way of saying "enjoy solitude".

Solitude, however, in contrast to loneliness, implies the choice of seeking company or pursuing things on your own.

Most people here feel they don't have this choice. Because they feel people turning away from them (either because they're socially awkward, don't trust people, or, in your case, feel that they cannot provide good company for others). In turn, "enjoying solitude" is impossible for these individuals. Because it would mean "enjoy loneliness". Loneliness is something that cannot be enjoyed. It's fundamentally against our brain's needs. "Normal" people simply cannot feel the pain and struggle it causes to build and keep relationships and eventually lose them.

Again, any treatment of "depression" that targets "improving quality of life" or "alleviating symptoms" is doomed to fail. In some cases, it can make it worse for two reasons: First, it may distract you from addressing the underlying root cause, and second, if you're using antidepressants, you'll most likely get nothing but side effects (which ironically include all forms of depressive symptoms).

The only way therapy could work is by trying to train you to build relationships with other people.

I've never been able to put it in words, but you described it very well - it's the feeling that I don't have the choice between solitude and loneliness. I'm on good terms with most people I know but only a few that I hang out with or really talk to, and even fewer that I can have deep conversations with. I've always thought that I need to be a more interesting person myself so people would enjoy my company more - obviously that hasn't worked out. It's hard but I guess I have to build new relationships or more importantly try to form closer relationships with my friends. Thanks your input, really appreciate it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Definitely depends on the underlying problem.

 

[whoevencares]

It also depends on the person you are going to see.
Most wont think for themselves and honestly 99% of doctors you see probably don't actually care about you.
I was repeatedly told it was my fault I was in 1st grade and was raped. All of them said this only 1 believed me and would listen.
Yes somehow a 1st grader made this up and was "seeking attention"
If they don't play out the way you want them to, don't give them the pleasure of sitting in that room talking to them. Literally leave, your time is better spent else where than with these people who act like they care. They are paid to act like they care

 

[orca87]

It's hard but I guess I have to build new relationships or more importantly try to form closer relationships with my friends.

Yes! That's the only way!

 

[pastelfluevogs]

Sorry if this has been asked before.

I don't necessarily think I have a serious mental health disorder, since I've never had major depression / hypomania / mania episodes. I don't have problems physically or PTSD/CPTSD either. It's just that I've persistently had a low mood for well over a year out of nowhere - not that I can't feel happiness, but it's hard to come by and short-lived, as if something is keeping me in check. Sometimes, for a few days at a time, I get very desperate. The other times, I feel calm or even somewhat fulfilled, even though nothing has changed objectively.

Suicidal thoughts come and go, but they've never left me since a few months ago. I can never feel the highs, but the lows have gotten worse. Even when I'm logical, I still prefer nonexistence.
While I'm very fortunate to have friends who care about me, I don't want to disturb them with the same thing every time I don't feel alright. I'm not a fun person to be with nor do I bring much happiness to others either, and I don't want to push the few friends I have away.

The underlying problem is that I have nothing that I look forward to in life, and my concern about therapy is that it wouldn't help if I still can't find reasons to live within myself. What makes me hesitant is the fact that I don't objectively have any problems, and I don't feel depressed all the time. Therapy is expensive and I don't want others to know. It seems like many have had bad experiences with therapy and the worst possible outcome for me is to be forcibly hospitalized if I disclose my suicidal thoughts.

Hobbies and lifestyle changes won't alleviate the problem, as I don't have much of a lifestyle to begin with; when I feel down, I'm not interested in hobbies either. I've thought about writing a note in advance and having CTB methods at my disposal, so I can feel the comfort of being able to leave any time I want. Ironically, I've procrastinated doing so. Have they actually made anyone else feel relieved?

I had struggled with the same feelings. I talked to people, got therapy, and sometimes the first therapist isn't a fit, and that's ok. My therapist now is understanding and helps me with my problems related to self worth and other things. I'd go for it. If you ever need to talk I'm here! Much love

pastel

 

[Forever Sleep]

I went to see a college therapist at uni- I was a mature student by then- nearly 30. I found it pretty uncomfortable and intrusive to be honest but I guess that's the point. To be fair- I only went to a few sessions but in that time- she was very insightful. I think they can make you see things that are probably quite obvious but you can't see them yourself. Personally, I think it's worth trying. But like everything else- I expect the majority of the work needs to come from you rather than them. I've always felt like it's not something that will work if your heart isn't in it. I don't think my heart really is in 'recovering'. I simply don't want the discomfort of doing things that would likely ultimately help me- socialising to get over social anxiety etc.

I hope you give it a shot though. I think it's worth trying definitely.

 

[sheepgirl]

Therapy is the reason I'm still alive (I mean technically medical and psychiatric intervention also is but therapy is how I get by and have grown to have an understanding of myself and what I struggle with)

 

[thatlatealready]

It has helped with aspects of my situation. It has kept me from killing myself so far, which seems to be their main goal. It has not been wildly successful though and, honestly, it has made some things significantly worse.

I would recommend trying it if you're willing to commit to it. Medication can also be helpful for some people, although I have not had much joy with it.

 

[phantomime]

To me, no. I don't wanna fucking cope. I want to actually solve the issue, but it's not possible so...
Also just a huge money and time waste. You already waste so much to find a good professional then you waste even more trying to cope.

 

[enviro400mmc]

The answer to this question will always be 'it depends' and it's always worth giving therapy a go. Of course in an ideal world you would try with quite a few therapists and choose one which works best for you but then again in an ideal world you would never be in the situation you are in the first place.

 

[TAW122]

At the best, it had little to no effect towards my circumstances and situation, and at worst, I felt like I had been put at potential jeopardy and a gamble on my civil liberties, personal freedom, and my life. Most of the therapy has just been about coping and accepting the shittiness of my reality rather than offering me solutions (if there are any) to solve them or at least accepting that death is a solution to perpetual (and likely permanent) suffering. Of course, I never talked about CTB as the risk of consequences beyond my control are too great and I simply cannot afford to endure nor subject myself to such an experience. If I could answer more than one choice, I'd say at best it has (little or) no effect, and at worst, it (likely) made my situation worse.