Does SI actually stand for sexual intercourse?

[Ambivalent1]

My sex drive is a big obstacle to ctb. I keep going over all the chances I've had and it tortures me. All the good times I could've had. If I had gone for them all, then I could probably ctb no problem or maybe I would just crave even more experiences or maybe I would have herpes and with my ocd, id have to kill myself!!! Herpes can spread to other parts of the body like the eyes and hands.

 

[sklvlp999]

 

[Ambivalent1]

It makes sense that the survival instinct would latch onto the sexual instinct and make one not want to die due to missed sexual opportunities as a result of being dead.

 

[sklvlp999]

It makes total sense to me

 

[Ambivalent1]

It makes total sense to me

This life is evil in the way it sets its hooks into you making you desire things you wouldn't care about after you die or before you were alive.

 

[Z-A]

That's one way of looking at it..

 

[ringo99]

I can see myself not wanting to ctb during SI. BUT if I did go out during SI at least I died happy . How my partner would feel about it though......

 

[Throwawayacc3]

I mean it could stand for a lot of things:

Suicide ideation
Sexual intercourse
Sitting In
Sleeping Iguana

My sex drive is a big obstacle to ctb. I keep going over all the chances I've had and it tortures me. All the good times I could've had. If I had gone for them all, then I could probably ctb no problem or maybe I would just crave even more experiences or maybe I would have herpes and with my ocd, id have to kill myself!!! Herpes can spread to other parts of the body like the eyes and hands.

On a serious note - don't do hookup shit. It fucks you up mentally. Even losing virginity due to pressure and all that - it's not worth it.

The thing I miss is just doing stuff and the other person being present or a hug when things are bad and I'm not big on the getting close stuff. Because they know you as a person (after years). But then it all comes crashing down if you get depression or have financial issues and then they leave. I've tried to logic my way out of it and say maybe it's hypergamy? For women but honestly I'm just tired.

It was a breaking point. Now I just don't trust any people anymore. Limit context and don't say too much. I don't want to give it my all and have it ripped to shreds at some point down the line.

 

[mtoro998]

No but thats what I thought when I first saw it. Its Survival Instinct.

 

[voidstar]

Before joining I only was aware of SI = self inflicted.