Help Does NN or jumping from 10th floor have less risk in terms of the damage if one survives the attempt?

[Reuthry]

I am confused. I thought that NN would be a good way to go, but I have like 54 days left until my ctb day and I still can't make myself pass out while trying. I would definitely go with partial if it was possible but it's impossible for me to do it (I don't have a proper anchor point unfortunately).
I have 2 options as it seems: jumping from 10th floor or NN. Which one is riskier if I survive the attempt? I would probably have 40-50 minutes until being found if I go with NN. But someone would hear and call an ambulance right after I jump and that's what I am afraid of. There are tons of buildings around so even at night it is impossible to not hear someone falling. There is a high chance of being "rescued" and keep living with a mangled disabled body for rest of my life.
If I survive NN, I think there are 2 (?) scenerios? One would be passing out and gaining consciousness after a agree minutes and the other would be also "rescued". The second would end up definitely in a full brain damage and it is as bad as being mangled.
This is why I am asking which is riskier in terms of survival. I don't know if I am overthinking or panicking for no reason but I really don't know what to do. I actually can buy a kg of SN here in my country so easily but since I live with my parents and since there are aware that I am suicidal, I don't have a chance to go and buy it or order online, since I don't have a banking account or whatever that I can pay with. Even if I go and buy SN, storing it would be an issue since the minimum amount they sell is a kilogram and I can't hide it somewhere. And I can't buy antiemetics without prescription and so on with other issues.
I know I am sort of flooding the site with this type of useless threads but I really need help. Any ideas? What should I do please someone help.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have such a rough time. NN is difficult bc it needs so much SI to overcome to tighten the ratchet/tourniquete with your own hands and finding the right positions to compress the arteries is also a difficult thing. Jumping is also not the best method bc of SI. But I can tell you that where I once lived someone jumped out of their window in the 10th floor and died. No idea about the actual conditions, that was decades ago. I'm sorry either ways you have aren't the easiest ones.

How old r u? Do you really have no other options? No other chances? No support from family for a recovery attempt?What have you tried to get better? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to!)

 

[PrettyPotato]

I am confused. I thought that NN would be a good way to go, but I have like 54 days left until my ctb day and I still can't make myself pass out while trying. I would definitely go with partial if it was possible but it's impossible for me to do it (I don't have a proper anchor point unfortunately).
I have 2 options as it seems: jumping from 10th floor or NN. Which one is riskier if I survive the attempt? I would probably have 40-50 minutes until being found if I go with NN. But someone would hear and call an ambulance right after I jump and that's what I am afraid of. There are tons of buildings around so even at night it is impossible to not hear someone falling. There is a high chance of being "rescued" and keep living with a mangled disabled body for rest of my life.
If I survive NN, I think there are 2 (?) scenerios? One would be passing out and gaining consciousness after a agree minutes and the other would be also "rescued". The second would end up definitely in a full brain damage and it is as bad as being mangled.
This is why I am asking which is riskier in terms of survival. I don't know if I am overthinking or panicking for no reason but I really don't know what to do. I actually can buy a kg of SN here in my country so easily but since I live with my parents and since there are aware that I am suicidal, I don't have a chance to go and buy it or order online, since I don't have a banking account or whatever that I can pay with. Even if I go and buy SN, storing it would be an issue since the minimum amount they sell is a kilogram and I can't hide it somewhere. And I can't buy antiemetics without prescription and so on with other issues.
I know I am sort of flooding the site with this type of useless threads but I really need help. Any ideas? What should I do please someone help.

I'd suggest that jumping from the 10th floor is nowhere near high enough to ensure ctb (imho). 50/50 chance of ending up disabled.
I wouldn't even consider jumping unless it were, say, around 20 stories - and even then I'd be twitchy. The human body seems to be annoyingly resilient. Of course there have been recorded fatalities from jumping out of second story windows though, so no hard and fast rules!

I don't know enough about the potential side effects of NN to comment on that, other than what you've mentioned (ie brain damage if found after a certain time has passed).

 

[Reuthry]

I'm sorry you have such a rough time. NN is difficult bc it needs so much SI to overcome to tighten the ratchet/tourniquete with your own hands and finding the right positions to compress the arteries is also a difficult thing. Jumping is also not the best method bc of SI. But I can tell you that where I once lived someone jumped out of their window in the 10th floor and died. No idea about the actual conditions, that was decades ago. I'm sorry either ways you have aren't the easiest ones.

How old r u? Do you really have no other options? No other chances? No support from family for a recovery attempt?What have you tried to get better? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to!)

I am 22 years old. I don't have other options because I once ended up in a psych ward after chickening out while trying to jump from the window. And since my parents still know that I am suicidal and can get legal papers indicating that I am a "threat" to my existence, I am pretty much like a 8 year old kid stuck in the house. Windows are locked (the locks are impossible to break through, I tried). Same applies to the balcony door. I would only have a chance if they opened the door of the balcony and left the key on it. I can't go out either without them noticing. They take me to a course center that the municipality of this city opened, because my parents think that hobbies fix depression. They take me there with the car and take me home by car. I cannot escape while I am at the course thing either because it is at the center of the city and there is no way to go far without being noticed. We have a lunch break (I go to the course on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) and I am actually planning to ctb in that time at the restroom in a cabin without anyone noticing.
I feel trapped both mentally and physically. I just can't do anything. The only way I can move out to get the university exams once again (there is this national exams in my country, you can take the exams as long as you pay some amount of money, like someone who is 90 years old would also be able to take the exam). It would take me a long time to prepare and I would probably be ready (if I ever manage to study) in 2025 and take the exam in that year. I am sure my parents would let me move out if I get a good mark and get into a good university. I can go and ctb easily if I am away from them but it would take a long time. I don't really have any other option I guess.
Should I wait a year more and try to get into a university and guarantee my death there or should I risk? I don't know I can't think properly anymore. I am desperate I just don't know.
I wonder why didn't my father feel this protectiveness towards me when I was a child, he was always beating me, quite often usually for no reason. Why would you punish a kid by locking the kid in the balcony in the middle of winter with thin clothes? I don't really know. I don't know what to think. Please someone help me with thinking because I just can't.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wonder why didn't my father feel this protectiveness towards me when I was a child, he was always beating me, quite often usually for no reason. Why would you punish a kid by locking the kid in the balcony in the middle of winter with thin clothes? I don't really know. I don't know what to think. Please someone help me with thinking because I just can't.

This is horrible abuse and it's so inhumane how u r treated by your family. That won't solve any of your issues and you depression won't get any better this way. I'm sorry I really have no idea what you could do and what is best to do here :-(

 

[Abyssal]

Night night works fast and so does brain damage. Both can be disastrous but I'd imagine living from jumping would be better, though is you survive night night you probably did something wrong and won't have been badly damaged as a result.

DONT do either if you think you will fail.

 

[PrettyPotato]

I am 22 years old. I don't have other options because I once ended up in a psych ward after chickening out while trying to jump from the window. And since my parents still know that I am suicidal and can get legal papers indicating that I am a "threat" to my existence, I am pretty much like a 8 year old kid stuck in the house. Windows are locked (the locks are impossible to break through, I tried). Same applies to the balcony door. I would only have a chance if they opened the door of the balcony and left the key on it. I can't go out either without them noticing. They take me to a course center that the municipality of this city opened, because my parents think that hobbies fix depression. They take me there with the car and take me home by car. I cannot escape while I am at the course thing either because it is at the center of the city and there is no way to go far without being noticed. We have a lunch break (I go to the course on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays) and I am actually planning to ctb in that time at the restroom in a cabin without anyone noticing.
I feel trapped both mentally and physically. I just can't do anything. The only way I can move out to get the university exams once again (there is this national exams in my country, you can take the exams as long as you pay some amount of money, like someone who is 90 years old would also be able to take the exam). It would take me a long time to prepare and I would probably be ready (if I ever manage to study) in 2025 and take the exam in that year. I am sure my parents would let me move out if I get a good mark and get into a good university. I can go and ctb easily if I am away from them but it would take a long time. I don't really have any other option I guess.
Should I wait a year more and try to get into a university and guarantee my death there or should I risk? I don't know I can't think properly anymore. I am desperate I just don't know.
I wonder why didn't my father feel this protectiveness towards me when I was a child, he was always beating me, quite often usually for no reason. Why would you punish a kid by locking the kid in the balcony in the middle of winter with thin clothes? I don't really know. I don't know what to think. Please someone help me with thinking because I just can't.

That sounds horrible, more like being in prison than anything else.
You're 22 - legal definition of an adult in any country - can you not just tell your parents to back off or you'll leave?

Is it possible they're bluffing about the papers indicating you're a threat to yourself?
If they don't have the papers at the moment then I don't see how they can prevent you from doing anything at all.

 

[Reuthry]

Night night works fast and so does brain damage. Both can be disastrous but I'd imagine living from jumping would be better, though is you survive night night you probably did something wrong and won't have been badly damaged as a result.

DONT do either if you think you will fail.

I was thinking like, if I make sure that I am compressing on the sweet spot, like if I tape it or something it would guarantee but I don't know what to do now. And I would risk jumping, if I was sure that nobody was going to help but people would call an ambulance there are a ton of apartments and people in my country are too curious when it comes to accidents/deaths etc. I don't know what to do anymore. I am going to try and see if I can master night night and 99% guarantee that I am going to die but if I can't, I don't know. The tallest building in my damn city has 20 floors but it is where rich people live (expensive stuff you know they have gym and swimming pool and other stuff they pay for) it is impossible for me get in there.