Does knowing that you won't regret ctb a second after you die act as a comfort?

[Ambivalent1]

It's weird. While alive I have reasons to stay alive and would feel regret while ctb, but it would all cease to matter as soon as I hit the ground. I suppose it's like sex. It means so much until you orgasm and then it's "why did I go through all that trouble to get sex?"

 

[Odahviing475]

The scary part I think is when you commit to it, and cant go back but still havent kicked the bucket yet. Like, as you are falling, or after you've taken pills and cant get them out.

 

[Ambivalent1]

The scary part I think is when you commit to it, and cant go back but still havent kicked the bucket yet. Like, as you are falling, or after you've taken pills and cant get them out.

Yeah but with a fall, it's just a matter of seconds. But I'm sure the terror is awful. I wonder if it's all the future bad one could've experienced condensed.

 

[leftdreaming]

When I've attempted it didn't feel any different than before I had swallowed a load of pills (in my defense I thought that was good enough) and was somewhat surprised by it. This method was very passive, which makes a difference, but even in our last moments we are still ourselves and mentally no different. Emotionally different? Yeah, both that won't stop you from feeling like the same person. Depends on the person.

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that under no circumstances could I ever regret suicide if I was able to, as I think it's always preferable to cease existing, and I could never see existence as being appealing or desirable. Suicide is self care as it solves what the true problem is which is existence in itself as without existence one cannot suffer, we are all just waiting around to die anyway so I think it's preferable to leave on my own terms and prevent unnecessary suffering in the process, there's no benefit to existing here, to exist is something so truly harmful and unnecessary.

But yes, the thought of everything finally being forgotten about and being completely unaware certainly is comforting, I envy those who are finally not existing as they don't have to spend another second in this dreadful world, they are free from everything, there's nothing more ideal than permanently not existing.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm looking forward to losing a lot of the other emotions too! For me- I can't wait to not feel the obligation to do stuff. If I'm honest- I've never really been big on regret. We make decisions that seem wisest at the time. By the time I CTB- I'm sure that will be the best decision for me.

 

[Necrosis]

I find comfort but not for the common reasons that others feel such as "oh the suffering will stop","I can leave when it gets bad", etc.

(abuse mentioned in following paragraph) I was severely abused from the ages of ~14-17. I was suicidal before this, but I found the common comfort others feel during this time. A part of me still wanted to live, I thought the reason I was unhappy was because I did not have a normal life like the people outside. I was frequently beaten to near death and abandoned in a cold breezeway or uninsulated backroom with a giant window. When I was laying there, convinced I was going to die, I was accepting of my death. Passively suicidal, I was happy to know the suffering would cease if they got it right this time, they couldn't hurt me anymore if I had died.

Obviously they were careful. Im still alive and now as an adult, with my own free will for the first time, I am discovering I still want to die. I am no longer comforted knowing that the suffering can just be stopped by death. I am rather comforted in the control it gives me. I have free will finally after all these years. I am allowed to feed myself, I am allowed to dress myself, I am allowed privacy, I can reject sexual advances, and I have the choice to live or die. I live for myself now, and I can die for myself if I feel like it. The ability of the act brings me more comfort than the results.

 

[Yaffle]

The scary part I think is when you commit to it, and cant go back but still havent kicked the bucket yet. Like, as you are falling, or after you've taken pills and cant get them out.

Yes, be often thought about the few seconds of falling.