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Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
Or do some of us just want to die due to a lack of meaning and direction in life, and perhaps, boredom?
 
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Lush_nova

Lush_nova

Self Destruct Activated
May 16, 2019
105
I don't see it as mental health issues despite what every one around me says. I just see it as my brain isn't wired right due to my upbringing influencing a very negative life on me
 
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Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
I don't see it as mental health issues despite what every one around me says. I just see it as my brain isn't wired right due to my upbringing influencing a very negative life on me
But you can always rewire yourself, if you give it your best shot? There's a quote that says something along the lines of how you were brought into and up in this world is not your fault, but what you make it and how you leave are completely up to you? I guess that could go both ways, suicide or not.
 
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Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
795
Physical issues that lead to mental health issues. Without the physical issue id be happy as larry.
 
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Slenderman

Slenderman

Jimmy Smith
Jun 9, 2019
65
I do have mental disorders but I definitely do feel there's nothing left in life, too. Like I kind of just already did everything I wanted, lived more than enough and see no point in living a life that will just get more and more boring.
 
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Hennessy

Hennessy

Specialist
Jan 14, 2019
360
I definetly have a mental disorder, but the fault does not lie with me. It's the stupid fucked up world which is causing it all. If the world was a better place my problems would be gone.
 
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Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
I definetly have a mental disorder, but the fault does not lie with me. It's the stupid fucked up world which is causing it all. If the world was a better place my problems would be gone.
I understand that, completely. But life has no meaning if we don't take responsibility for ourselves. Blaming everybody and everything is never the solution.
 
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Lush_nova

Lush_nova

Self Destruct Activated
May 16, 2019
105
But you can always rewire yourself, if you give it your best shot? There's a quote that says something along the lines of how you were brought into and up in this world is not your fault, but what you make it and how you leave are completely up to you? I guess that could go both ways, suicide or not.


I've been trying for years to rewire it's only in the last 6 months I've failed more so then ever . And it's only in last couple months things are starting to seriously fall apart and I can't do this, don't want to do this any more
 
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Extremly kind <3

Extremly kind <3

Student
Jun 8, 2019
192
Members of my family have, I think that's why my mind is asking me to exit ASAP immediately after the misfortunate event that has happened to me
 
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Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
I read an article about a girl that discussed boredom in her suicide note. She was not diagnosed with any mental illnesses and everyone seemed genuinely surprised that she did CTB. No previous attempts or anything. Very premeditated.
 
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Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
I've been trying for years to rewire it's only in the last 6 months I've failed more so then ever . And it's only in last couple months things are starting to seriously fall apart and I can't do this, don't want to do this any more
That is a plausible point.
 
W

whyidon'tknow

Human
Jun 9, 2019
356
I think a lot of people would make the argument that if you truly want to end your life and make steps toward planning it you are mentally ill in some way. I agree with lush nova

I don't see it as mental health issues despite what every one around me says. I just see it as my brain isn't wired right due to my upbringing influencing a very negative life on me

I think some people due to the way their brain is wired are not destined to make it in this life. Are there brains "damaged" or "inferior"? I think there is an argument made that social condition can cause harmful brain development that passes a point of no return.
 
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B

Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
I read an article about a girl that discussed boredom in her suicide note. She was not diagnosed with any mental illnesses and everyone seemed genuinely surprised that she did CTB. No previous attempts or anything. Very premeditated.
I read the same one, I believe. I found it astonishing. That's why I started this thread in fact. Can we just go with no reason?
 
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whyidon'tknow

Human
Jun 9, 2019
356
I read an article about a girl that discussed boredom in her suicide note. She was not diagnosed with any mental illnesses and everyone seemed genuinely surprised that she did CTB. No previous attempts or anything. Very premeditated.

Do you know if this girl was tested or saw a doctor? Perhaps she is a great liar. I find it difficult to accept a completely mentally healthy and well adjusted individual would just off themselves since we are wired to keep ourselves alive
 
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Lush_nova

Lush_nova

Self Destruct Activated
May 16, 2019
105
I think a lot of people would make the argument that if you truly want to end your life and make steps toward planning it you are mentally ill in some way. I agree with lush nova



I think some people due to the way their brain is wired are not destined to make it in this life. Are there brains "damaged" or "inferior"? I think there is an argument made that social condition can cause harmful brain development that passes a point of no return.

One thing my psychiatrist said to me was childhood when your brain is still so new and easily trained, any experience will be trained into you and will become part of you and how you are in the future. This is where I get I'm not wired right from, what I have experience has made me this way, it hasn't come through illness but in a way teachings of life. My childhood was fucked up, I tried to recover from it, but instead I've gone downhill as I realise I have lost something I can never recover from
 
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Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
But you can always rewire yourself, if you give it your best shot? There's a quote that says something along the lines of how you were brought into and up in this world is not your fault, but what you make it and how you leave are completely up to you? I guess that could go both ways, suicide or not.

Idk. After years of talking to doctors and therapists, it just doesn't seem quite as simple as that. If you're brought up with say 16 years of trauma, your mind is wired to see the world in a different way. It would take at least 16 years to rewire that, so I've been told, and that's if you have all the right support and financial means etc.

Sure, you're in control of your life at 18 and you can go change it, but if your reticular activating system has learned that looking at a door knob, nighttime, or any loud noise means potential death because that's when your dad would come and beat you, it is really nearly impossible to rewire that... Especially without any help from others or even understanding that it's not normal. . . Hearing your mom say she deserved it even at 28 years old....

Yeah, it's hard to fix a problem when you're raised and taught that it's normal.
This doesn't even include the other potential difficulties like a seratonin imbalance or thyroid problem etc, which you can't just go change by thinking positively. Idk.
 
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Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
Idk. After years of talking to doctors and therapists, it just doesn't seem quite as simple as that. If you're brought up with say 16 years of trauma, your mind is wired to see the world in a different way. It would take at least 16 years to rewire that, so I've been told, and that's if you have all the right support and financial means etc.

Sure, you're in control of your life at 18 and you can go change it, but if your reticular activating system has learned that looking at a door knob, nighttime, or any loud noise means potential death because that's when your dad would come and beat you, it is really nearly impossible to rewire that... Especially without any help from others or even understanding that it's not normal. . . Hearing your mom say she deserved it even at 28 years old....

Yeah, it's hard to fix a problem when you're raised and taught that it's normal.
This doesn't even include the other potential difficulties like a seratonin imbalance or thyroid problem etc, which you can't just go change by thinking positively. Idk.
I agree with that. I always felt guilty about how I always brought everyone around me down and often hear about how I should be more positive and how I can change this. I suffered emotional and physical abuse until about 16. I'm now almost 21 and as distraught as ever.
 
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Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
Do you know if this girl was tested or saw a doctor? Perhaps she is a great liar. I find it difficult to accept a completely mentally healthy and well adjusted individual would just off themselves since we are wired to keep ourselves alive

Always possible. The article I read said she wasn't seeing a doctor and nobody knew she was depressed or suicidal. That doesn't always mean anything though, as we all know.
 
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czx85

czx85

Student
Jun 8, 2019
133
Idk. After years of talking to doctors and therapists, it just doesn't seem quite as simple as that. If you're brought up with say 16 years of trauma, your mind is wired to see the world in a different way. It would take at least 16 years to rewire that, so I've been told, and that's if you have all the right support and financial means etc.

Sure, you're in control of your life at 18 and you can go change it, but if your reticular activating system has learned that looking at a door knob, nighttime, or any loud noise means potential death because that's when your dad would come and beat you, it is really nearly impossible to rewire that... Especially without any help from others or even understanding that it's not normal. . . Hearing your mom say she deserved it even at 28 years old....

Yeah, it's hard to fix a problem when you're raised and taught that it's normal.
This doesn't even include the other potential difficulties like a seratonin imbalance or thyroid problem etc, which you can't just go change by thinking positively. Idk.
I would say it would take way more than 16 years, or prob never... Damage done in childhood would be nearly impossible to be reversed.
 
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Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
I agree with that. I always felt guilty about how I always brought everyone around me down and often hear about how I should be more positive and how I can change this. I suffered emotional and physical abuse until about 16. I'm now almost 21 and as distraught as ever.
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so awful to take so much energy to just survive the day and then heart those you care about tell you how you're bringing them down when it's already so hard.
Do you feel like you're healing from the emotional and physical abuse, if I may be so bold to ask.
 
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Lush_nova

Lush_nova

Self Destruct Activated
May 16, 2019
105
I would say it would take way more than 16 years, or prob never... Damage done in childhood would be nearly impossible to be reversed.

I find these kind of debates interesting.

There are some things in my childhood which went great but I have managed to almost shrug off, but there some parts I don't think I'll ever recover from.
 
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Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
I would say it would take way more than 16 years, or prob never... Damage done in childhood would be nearly impossible to be reversed.
I think you're right.

That was what my last therapist said... As well, I have work books that say it never heals fully too... I've also heard for every year you don't get help or aren't actively working on healing, that's another two it would take to get better...
 
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Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's so awful to take so much energy to just survive the day and then heart those you care about tell you how you're bringing them down when it's already so hard.
Do you feel like you're healing from the emotional and physical abuse, if I may be so bold to ask.
To be perfectly honest with you, I only started understanding that I was abused when I got with my fiance. I always thought my life was pretty good because I didnt know any different. And still, I am told by father (the abuser) that I am ungrateful, selfish, etc, when the most selfish thing I have ever done was to stay away from his toxicity. It's only last summer when all the issues came up and I'm just, broken. I have also experienced multiple traumas due to my feelings of worthlessness that stemmed from my relationship with my dad, including rape. Yet nobody understands the magnitude of those... And I'm expected to pick myself up and dust myself off like nothing happened. It is what it is.
Thank you for asking, though. Much love.
 
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czx85

czx85

Student
Jun 8, 2019
133
I find these kind of debates interesting.

There are some things in my childhood which went great but I have managed to almost shrug off, but there some parts I don't think I'll ever recover from.
I understand. For me, most of the trauma I have won't be recovered I think. Been having PTSD since 20 years ago
 
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J

Jean Améry

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2019
1,098
Given that psychiatric dogma stipulates that anybody who seriously contemplates suicide must ipso facto be mentally ill I think it's reasonable to assume most would probably have received some form of psychiatric diagnosis/label. Of course what's in a name?

While I do suffer mentally (emotionally) I don't subscribe to the medical model. I found it to be highly defective and not helpful at all.
 
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B

Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
To be perfectly honest with you, I only started understanding that I was abused when I got with my fiance. I always thought my life was pretty good because I didnt know any different. And still, I am told by father (the abuser) that I am ungrateful, selfish, etc, when the most selfish thing I have ever done was to stay away from his toxicity. It's only last summer when all the issues came up and I'm just, broken. I have also experienced multiple traumas due to my feelings of worthlessness that stemmed from my relationship with my dad, including rape. Yet nobody understands the magnitude of those... And I'm expected to pick myself up and dust myself off like nothing happened. It is what it is.
Thank you for asking, though. Much love.
And obviously, when they ask, what is wrong with me, I can't really open up because I've been taught to bottle up all these feelings. It's just a bad cycle.
 
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czx85

czx85

Student
Jun 8, 2019
133
I think you're right.

That was what my last therapist said... As well, I have work books that say it never heals fully too... I've also heard for every year you don't get help or aren't actively working on healing, that's another two it would take to get better...
Wow really... I mean even if they know that, most of them wouldn't pop it out, so that they can leave some "hope" for people.
I think it really depends on which kind of damage it is. For me, some trauma would be recovered in few days (wait, are they really trauma?), but some just gonna stay with me for whole life
 
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Kjo

Kjo

Student
Jun 7, 2019
148
To be perfectly honest with you, I only started understanding that I was abused when I got with my fiance. I always thought my life was pretty good because I didnt know any different. And still, I am told by father (the abuser) that I am ungrateful, selfish, etc, when the most selfish thing I have ever done was to stay away from his toxicity. It's only last summer when all the issues came up and I'm just, broken. I have also experienced multiple traumas due to my feelings of worthlessness that stemmed from my relationship with my dad, including rape. Yet nobody understands the magnitude of those... And I'm expected to pick myself up and dust myself off like nothing happened. It is what it is.
Thank you for asking, though. Much love.
Thank you so much for sharing. What an incredibly strong soul you have to have endured and survived. I'm glad you're away from the toxicity now. That level of hurt is so beyond most pains in the world. To be abused by the person that should teach you love and compassion. It's a hell that most, thank goodness, will never understand.

I started the workbook "Courage to Heal" and you may find it helpful. I'll see if I can find the free ebook link, though the workbook is great too. You're doing good and NEVER deserved the trauma.
 
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B

Bandzbandz

Student
Aug 23, 2018
139
Thank you so much for sharing. What an incredibly strong soul you have to have endured and survived. I'm glad you're away from the toxicity now. That level of hurt is so beyond most pains in the world. To be abused by the person that should teach you love and compassion. It's a hell that most, thank goodness, will never understand.

I started the workbook "Courage to Heal" and you may find it helpful. I'll see if I can find the free ebook link, though the workbook is great too. You're doing good and NEVER deserved the trauma.
Thank you very much.
Pretty sure nobody here deserves anything bad that's ever happened to them. May we all find peace, be it in breath or death.
 
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czx85

czx85

Student
Jun 8, 2019
133
It would take long time to get used to it. Once I talked too much to a doctor, and he sent me to hospitalized for 3 days. Which significantly reduced my trust to doctors, and my mental stage. After that I'm afraid to share even information even enough for treatment to and doc
 
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