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Ookami

Ookami

Member
Feb 27, 2023
10
I'm so done being alive. In the past week that I've been on the forum, I've gained so much clarity on what I've been wanting to do with this life that was given to me, unasked, unprompted.

The thought of having made the decision to CTB, in a broad sense, gives me so much relief. It somehow makes it easier to get through the day - just the idea that this is all temporary, that the choice to catch the bus is with me - it makes it all better.

In some senses, this feels counterintuitive. But it also makes things a whole lot easier.

Does this fade? What are your experiences with clarity on this subject?
 
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AllMyDreams

AllMyDreams

Experienced
Dec 12, 2021
279
In Belgium, doctors who granted euthanasia to patients found that for some people, knowing they could die at any moment actually made life more bearable for them. Because you are no longer in your mind condemned to decades of suffering if your life goes wrong. If you have a method accessible to you that you are confident in, I would honestly view it as a second chance at life. Try living a year or so with the knowledge you can ctb, and see if you have less anxiety/are able to enjoy life more.

Here's the video (they mention this towards the end):
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,437
It's very much understandable feeling relief at the thought of ctb, I think that if one has a plan for suicide it can make them feel less trapped here. Suicide is something that is difficult and inacessible for me personally and I hate how reliable methods are restricted in this world, but I've always found the thought of death to be incredibly comforting. The only relief certainly lies in the thought of this life someday being gone.
 
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Octavia

Octavia

“I’d… rather kill myself.”
Mar 4, 2023
363
Having a retirement plan in place and ready to go can make a lot of people feel better. It is like having loving and supportive parents, you know that no matter what happens to you, you will be okay.
 
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Ookami

Ookami

Member
Feb 27, 2023
10
In Belgium, doctors who granted euthanasia to patients found that for some people, knowing they could die at any moment actually made life more bearable for them. Because you are no longer in your mind condemned to decades of suffering if your life goes wrong. If you have a method accessible to you that you are confident in, I would honestly view it as a second chance at life. Try living a year or so with the knowledge you can ctb, and see if you have less anxiety/are able to enjoy life more.

Here's the video (they mention this towards the end):

That makes a lot of sense to me. I guess this is what positive nihilism essentially is.

Thanks, I'll think about the suggestion you offered.
 
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