Discussion Does change make you want to CTB?

[lyles]

I know that change, especially significant ones, triggers a lot of emotions in certain folks and I think I am feeling that now. Mine is a positive change, one I am preparing for and mostly looking forward to. But I am also looking at the rest of my life and that is so daunting. It makes me feel like I need an escape. If I am going to ctb soon it will have to be in this year.

At the same time, stagnation makes me depressed and can bring the same desires to ctb. It seems like it all revolves back to death being the ultimate desire and solution. Has anyone else faced similar circumstances? What sort of life changes have swayed you?

 

[depressedmaniac]

I have been scared about changes of any kind ever since I was a child. I think its related to growing up in dif forster homes. Even positive changes used to overwhelm me and made my suicidal ideation worse. Haven't had that problem in the past years though since it's just been going downhill.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Depends on the change.

 

[lyles]

I have been scared about changes of any kind ever since I was a child. I think its related to growing up in dif forster homes. Even positive changes used to overwhelm me and made my suicidal ideation worse. Haven't had that problem in the past years though since it's just been going downhill.

I understand that, honestly I think it's what I am going through right now exactly. I'm sorry to hear that you share that, though. Regardless of anything, I try to keep the fact that death is a certainty and that will never change as a way to comfort myself.

Depends on the change.

I can see that. I suppose I was thinking either large scale physical changes like moving or interpersonal changes, like taking the next big step in a relationship or losing a friend, etc.