does anyone want/hate intimacy, touchy feely talks, eye contact, sharing feelings, etc?

[snowman626]

i think im depressed and suicidal partly because i lack intimacy on physical and mental levels. i DO NOT want intimacy from family members. my mother knows im depressed and i know she wants me to sit down with her and hold hands and have me share my feelings with eye contact and be all touchy feely and i just cringe so bad just thinking of it. i only want intimacy from girls i find sexually attractive but ive had none of that my whole life. i want intimacy with an attractive girl and be able to have eye contact and hold hands and all the stuff, but i dont think i even have the ability to.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i understand. i'd love to be intimate with someone, but i don't think i'd be able to. i'd rather die than be vulnerable. i can always dream, though.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Every so often I'll complain to my mom that nobody loves me, and she always says "but I love you".
It's not the same, mom!!!

 

[greebo6]

i think im depressed and suicidal partly because i lack intimacy on physical and mental levels. i DO NOT want intimacy from family members. my mother knows im depressed and i know she wants me to sit down with her and hold hands and have me share my feelings with eye contact and be all touchy feely and i just cringe so bad just thinking of it. i only want intimacy from girls i find sexually attractive but ive had none of that my whole life. i want intimacy with an attractive girl and be able to have eye contact and hold hands and all the stuff, but i dont think i even have the ability to.

I would love some intimacy with someone. But no one would want me on that level / in that way (and I understand why) . It would be so nice though .
On a simpler level just to be physically touched or hugged would make a very nice change too. No one ever does. That hurts sometimes .
I am broken but I am still human....

 

[TheSomebody]

Yes, I HATE any kind of phsysical contact. People do not know how to interact without physical contact. Men like to pretend they are punching others and I hate it when they do it to me. They like to hold your shoulder as a greeting, and it causes me a lot of discomfort. I don't have a lot of relationships with women, but I also feel discomfort when they touch me to hug or whatever. I wish I was born in Japan, where people respect the distance between them. Westerners look like monkeys because they don't know how to relate without touching to each other and without even asking for their consent. I never touch anyone and I don't like it when they touch me too.
Romantic relationships might be an exception, but as I have never experienced this type of relationship, I am also not sure if I would like to be touched by my partner

 

[Xocoyotziin]

Nope, I'm touchy feely with everyone. In middle school I had friends who complained I hugged them too much.

Men like to pretend they are punching others and I hate it when they do it to me.

I hate this. I don't "get it", and it bothers me when people continue to do it to make me uncomfortable because they know I don't "get it".

They like to hold your shoulder as a greeting, and it causes me a lot of discomfort.

But I love this. A little too much. It frightens me when people do that. You mean it as a simple greeting, but you don't know how good it feels to me, so stay away lmao.

 

[TheSomebody]

^Are you agreeing with me or just being sarcastic?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yeah I crave physical intimacy but don't feel comfortable giving it to or getting it from almost anyone I currently know right now. Shit sucks.

 

[Panna]

I essentially crave it, but within my family two are stereotypical jock types who have the emotional capacity of a rock, while the other is a "get a wife get a life", or you're depressed because you hate god, why don't you make peace with him and you'll be a happy person.

 

[Sorrygoodbye]

When my body dysmorphia is particularly bad, I hate people touching me. I normally really like cuddles and hugs though.

 

[ecmnesia]

i DO NOT want intimacy from family members. my mother knows im depressed and i know she wants me to sit down with her and hold hands and have me share my feelings with eye contact and be all touchy feely and i just cringe so bad just thinking of it

same. I want and don't. Can't stand my family members touching me, trying to talk and be besties (yes there is a hatred I haven't overcome, and probably never will), still I want intimacy with someone else, someone who's not blood related.

 

[Xocoyotziin]

^Are you agreeing with me or just being sarcastic?

Huh? Oh sorry no I was being completely sincere. I never understood that play punching stuff.

 

[TheSomebody]

Huh? Oh sorry no I was being completely sincere. I never understood that play punching stuff.

My cousins and colleagues do this to me, I think it's common for them. However, I overreacted when I said I hated ANY type of physical contact. I actually like some physical contact, like hugging, but only when it's meaningful. I don't like pointless hugs, made just to greet or play with you. I think a truly sentimental hug is good for everyone and I think I never got one like that.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i hate intimacy but thats a me thing. as for the eye contact......i just cant. i feel really weird looking into peoples eyes but at the same time i feel rude not doing it but i just physically cant

 

[Xocoyotziin]

@TheSomebody
Yeah, a truly sincere hug can go a really long way.

 

[schopenh]

Ten years ago I'd have froze up and gone red at the thought at looking my partner in the eye and saying "I love you". All changed when I fell madly in love with a girl maybe 5 years ago. We could stare at each other for hours without feelings uncomfortable. Now with my most recent date I can look her dead in the eyes, hold her hand and say (genuinely) "I am so glad I met you, you are absolutely lovely." and she'll go bright red and won't know what to say but I'll feel totally comfortable. Getting comfortable with intimacy is a very beautiful thing IMO.

 

[Mr2005]

Yeah I crave physical intimacy but don't feel comfortable giving it to or getting it from almost anyone I currently know right now. Shit sucks.

Continuing on from our self esteem issues would you feel you deserved it because I don't.

 

[sadworld]

I've never had any of that so I don't know if I like it. I have never met anyone that I could love. In my entire life, two girls have asked me out but I never wanted anything from them because I rather be alone. But when im sad i really wish there would be someone to hug...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Continuing on from our self esteem issues would you feel you deserved it because I don't.

I feel like I don't deserve it much. It's not even really about what I've done but more about what I believe I would do if given the opportunity.

I can't say either way for you though. I'll be optimistic though and willing to say self esteem is more deserved for you.

 

[Mr2005]

I feel like I do. It's not even really about what I've done but more about what I believe I would do if given the opportunity.

I can't say either way for you though. I'll be optimistic though and willing to say self esteem is more deserved for you.

You're too kind but I'll try and remember that because what I've done is of no consequence to her only how it effects me now

 

[Georgii]

I hate being touched, even casually/friendly .
I always step back when someone is too close to me ,or when someone randomly makes contact .
Even with my family I kinda force it because they always take it personal .
But on the other side .. I have moments when I want intimacy,to be held but my body refuses to trust .

 

[RottenDeer]

On one hand, I like intimacy. On the other hand, I don't like the vulnerability that comes with it.

 

[Rn110bg101]

I wish I was loved, not necessarily romantically. I wish I had friends who would care for me.

 

[Ghost2211]

A decade ago I was cuddly, highly sexual, and playful. I found over the years I started hating intimate touch. It made me feel vulnerable and scared, but I still loved snuggles with my babies. I feel confused that I want to be touched now by others. I thought it was something wrong with me, but I'm starting to see it might be who was touching me.

 

[AverageIdiot]

Yeah, I always struggled with physical contact and affection since I hit puberty. While it did get a bit better overtime I still prefer not to be hugged and touched. Same goes for the rare occasions anyone shows interest in me, just makes me feel very uncomfortable.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

Do Not Touch Me. Unless you are my lover.

This is what started the estrangement with my daughter. Her husband comes from a touchy feely culture. I come from the opposite. He told me he thought I should show more emotion. He wanted me to be the mother he never had. I told him that touching etc makes me very uncomfortable. One day, as I was leaving their house, he grabbed me on both sides of my face and kissed me on the lips. It was not sexual. I felt assaulted. #MeToo?

In my world, if you care about someone, you show your caring by acts. I was the caregiver, five days a week, 12-13 hours a day, for nine months, when their first child was born. I went to their house every morning at 7am, made coffee, got baby up and fed, diapered, changed; fed the animals, did the laundry, dishes, prepped bottles for the next 24 hours, made sure the house was tidy when they arrived home from work. I would get home at 7:00 pm, exhausted. When baby started day care, if he was sick and couldn't go, I would get called in the morning and go over there. I charged them nothing. My son-in-law hates me. He actually said that. Because I am not the mother he always wanted. Really? His family, who does all the touchy feely stuff, has done nothing to help them. When his car was in the shop for weeks, I let him take mine. Tolls came to over $70. No reimbursement even. And he complained that he was embarassed to drive it.

Sorry, this is a sore point, can you tell, lol? Because now I can not see that baby, nor the one that followed, and it has broken my heart.

Aside: I did cuddle the baby. All the time. He was a fretful one so I gave him lots of love.

Don't Touch Me. But if you need help, I will be the first in line. Well, not anymore.