Venting Does anyone live with someone who harasses them?

[RedBuns]

I live with my brother (not in the same house but on the same property , I have a mobile home on my dad's property temporarily while I save money to move and he lives in the main house with my dad lol he's 33) who is an alcoholic and he basically harasses me every chance he gets. Basically he just talks a lot of shit to me and about me and he makes me want to KMS. Calls me names, makes fun of me, and just basically bothers me. There's a lot more to this but I'm trying to keep it short. He's a bum who has no job and my dad takes care of him but he still has the audacity talk shit to me who pays rent, helps clean the house and yard, while he just sits in his room and drinks and smokes weed. I know I shouldn't let a bum get to me this much but I'm a very non confrontational person and also get my feelings hurt easily. Talking shit to him back doesn't do anything lol so how should I deal with this? Anyone else live with someone like this?

 

[Enlighten]

I don't live in a similar situation, but i've obviously had people pick on me throughout my life.
One advice i can give is to try and become physically BIGGER and stronger. Emphasis on bigger, as a 60 kg muscle dude will stil get his ass handed to him by a fat 100kg dude. I've noticed this first hand, as i've gained a good amount of weight and muscle in 3-4 years (60 kg to 85 kg) and now people don't mess around with me as much anymore. I've never had to throw hands either, being physically more present demands respect from people, even without having to actually fight.

 

[RedBuns]

I don't live in a similar situation, but i've obviously had people pick on me throughout my life.
One advice i can give is to try and become physically BIGGER and stronger. Emphasis on bigger, as a 60 kg muscle dude will stil get his ass handed to him by a fat 100kg dude. I've noticed this first hand, as i've gained a good amount of weight and muscle in 3-4 years (60 kg to 85 kg) and now people don't mess around with me as much anymore. I've never had to throw hands either, being physically more present demands respect from people, even without having to actually fight.

Well I'm a girl and he's a dude so I don't think it's a matter of who's bigger. He's like 5'4" lmao and I'm 5'0. and he also harasses my husband who is much bigger and stronger than him. But I can tell he's scared of him he's like a little Chihuahua that yaps from afar but won't actually physically do anything I just want him to leave me alone, don't want to physically fight

 

[Enlighten]

Well I'm a girl and he's a dude so I don't think it's a matter of who's bigger. He's like 5'4" lmao and I'm 5'0. and he also harasses my husband who is much bigger and stronger than him. But I can tell he's scared of him he's like a little Chihuahua that yaps from afar but won't actually physically do anything I just want him to leave me alone, don't want to physically fight

Oh, didn't realise lol. Sometimes confrontian is unavoidable. You should tell your husband that he bothers you & then your husband can just physically intimidate him. Hopefully that'll do the job.

 

[Pachy]

I don't have exactly the same thing but I do have something similar. I'm 21 currently and I have been living with my folks all my life. My mother is a manipulative narcist and a border line sociopath. Any chance she gets to abuse me she takes. Growing up I was physically abused by her when I was little. She would beat me for small things like accidently spilling my cup at the dinner table or forgetting to lock a door or even just putting something back in the wrong place in the refrigerator. Not only that but she would emotionally abuse me too. My whole life I have been told things like " no one even likes you" and "you're the biggest mistake to ever happen to this family. As i've grown older she no longer can hurt me physically as I've just become stronger and bigger than her but she still keeps up the mental abuse. She will pit her children against each other. For example if one of us does something she doesn't like she will go to another one of her kids and feed them a bunch of lies and twist the situation to make them feel bad for her or to make them hate their sibling. Dividing everyone in the house so she can control everything for her own benefit. She has my older sister wrapped around her finger and uses her for thing like money and transportation as my mother can't drive and refuses to work. When my sister tries to make her voice heard she emotionally abuses her. Just a couple weeks ago she was berating my sister for acting upset over the passing of the family pet saying "if you start crying and acting like an animal you won't be able to live here. You need to grow up and accept that things die" or something along those lines, im paraphrasing. She's convinced both my siblings to hate my father for no reason. He's a very sweet man and the most supportive person I have in my life. The worst thing my father has ever done to my mother is call her out for the monster that she is but she always finds a way to twist the narrative back into her being a victim. She is incapable of apologizing or owning up to mistakes as she believes she can do no wrong and that everyone else is the problem.

I assume it's not possible for you to remove him from the house so the only way to deal with a person like this is to not engage and ignore them as lame of a solution that is. People like that don't respond to words or actions. It is simply in their nature to behave that way. It may be hard to do but as soon as he opens his mouth go into another room asap or leave the house for a bit. Even put on some headphones and turn the music all the way up. I wish I could offer you a better solution

 

[RedBuns]

I don't have exactly the same thing but I do have something similar. I'm 21 currently and I have been living with my folks all my life. My mother is a manipulative narcist and a border line sociopath. Any chance she gets to abuse me she takes. Growing up I was physically abused by her when I was little. She would beat me for small things like accidently spilling my cup at the dinner table or forgetting to lock a door or even just putting something back in the wrong place in the refrigerator. Not only that but she would emotionally abuse me too. My whole life I have been told things like " no one even likes you" and "you're the biggest mistake to ever happen to this family. As i've grown older she no longer can hurt me physically as I've just become stronger and bigger than her but she still keeps up the mental abuse. She will pit her children against each other. For example if one of us does something she doesn't like she will go to another one of her kids and feed them a bunch of lies and twist the situation to make them feel bad for her or to make them hate their sibling. Dividing everyone in the house so she can control everything for her own benefit. She has my older sister wrapped around her finger and uses her for thing like money and transportation as my mother can't drive and refuses to work. When my sister tries to make her voice heard she emotionally abuses her. Just a couple weeks ago she was berating my sister for acting upset over the passing of the family pet saying "if you start crying and acting like an animal you won't be able to live here. You need to grow up and accept that things die" or something along those lines, im paraphrasing. She's convinced both my siblings to hate my father for no reason. He's a very sweet man and the most supportive person I have in my life. The worst thing my father has ever done to my mother is call her out for the monster that she is but she always finds a way to twist the narrative back into her being a victim. She is incapable of apologizing or owning up to mistakes as she believes she can do no wrong and that everyone else is the problem.

I assume it's not possible for you to remove him from the house so the only way to deal with a person like this is to not engage and ignore them as lame of a solution that is. People like that don't respond to words or actions. It is simply in their nature to behave that way. It may be hard to do but as soon as he opens his mouth go into another room asap or leave the house for a bit. Even put on some headphones and turn the music all the way up. I wish I could offer you a better solution

Damn I'm sorry your mother is like that. It's crazy how "family" can be sometimes.

And I completely agree with the ignoring part. I've verbally fought with him too many times and it does nothing. So I'm just going to ignore him as best I can although it's really hard to bite my tongue sometimes with the shit he says. But arguing with him does absolutely nothing anyway so why bother. It's a waste of time and energy. I just wish he would get a life and leave me the fuck alone!