I'm so fucking sick of people checking on me. They're only checking on me because I had a suicide attempt, before then no one fucking gave a shit. It's just because they don't want a death in their conscious. Just let me die ffs, I don't owe anyone anything especially after they made me feel so shitty.
I know exactly what you're going through.
I feel angry and especially frustrated at them. I wish they could understand my reasons to ctb but they never will.
Anyway, I'm living alone and kinda "at peace" now. The ctb thoughts will haunt me no matter where or who I am with.
I feel angry and especially frustrated at them. I wish they could understand my reasons to ctb but they never will.
Anyway, I'm living alone and kinda "at peace" now. The ctb thoughts will haunt me no matter where or who I am with.
Yep :(
wish people would stop trying to make me live for them
wish people would stop trying to make me live for them
Nodscene
Its time
- Jun 7, 2019
- 154
So very true. I had a recent attempt and one morning my dad was shining a flashlight in my eyes! I do get it but that's a shitty way to wake up.
No one really talks about anything in my family but although she meant well my sister tried giving me liquid gel Excedrin and some other over the counter medication to try and help my chronic pain that opiods have a hard time keeping under control. Needless to say I went through a week + of pure hell just so I could say I tried her meds.
Is this even on topic?!? Haha
No one really talks about anything in my family but although she meant well my sister tried giving me liquid gel Excedrin and some other over the counter medication to try and help my chronic pain that opiods have a hard time keeping under control. Needless to say I went through a week + of pure hell just so I could say I tried her meds.
Is this even on topic?!? Haha
DivineMedicus
Vereor Nox
- Sep 7, 2020
- 242
sadgirl2002
Fallen Angel
- Apr 9, 2019
- 452
I know what you're going through, I always feel angry but I don't think it's irrational for any of us. I'm tired of people making me live for their sake, it's my life and I have the right to end it. I just wish everyone would fuck off and let me make my own choices. I will always be like this, it's been over ten years and I'm tired of seeing my life flash before my eyes and not knowing where all of that time went. I can't take everything that's happened and all that I've lost. My reasons are valid, everyone's reasons are valid. I hope I can end it soon.
Nodscene
Its time
- Jun 7, 2019
- 154
dw? Sorry, I'm old and don't know what that means haha
Nymph
he/him
- Jul 15, 2020
- 2,565
Yeah I feel you, no one cares until there's a chance that they might experience "sadness" from a death of a close one. It's so annoying...
I called a clinic and told them I wanted to go to psychotherapy because of suicidal thoughts and they got "worried" and told me to get hospitalized (they don't have free psychotherapists) - not because they care about me but because they don't want to have problems in case I ctb and they didn't help me.
I totally feel you, my family keeps forcing me to stay alive
I called a clinic and told them I wanted to go to psychotherapy because of suicidal thoughts and they got "worried" and told me to get hospitalized (they don't have free psychotherapists) - not because they care about me but because they don't want to have problems in case I ctb and they didn't help me.
I totally feel you, my family keeps forcing me to stay alive
DivineMedicus
Vereor Nox
- Sep 7, 2020
- 242
BornofDust
Student
- Dec 11, 2020
- 132
While yes it has to do with people not wanting a guilty conscious on their minds, they also , at least some people, don't want to lose their toys. Some people are there for people to mess around with and bully either to fulfill their sadistic glee or to make themselves feel better about themselves, and losing that supply would not be good for them. Or to simply help them justify for themselves and others as kind, empathetic people t and others that that they tell themselves that they are. And sometimes its simply that in themselves and are just to enamored in themselves and their situations to really be helpful for suicidal people.
After a lengthy abuse session from my wife the other day, I ran out of the house to drive off and just do it. She dragged me, told me she didn't want me to do it, and called the cops. Later, when she repeated that she didn't want me to do it. That made me angry because her treatment of me, for decades, makes it pretty clear she does want me to do it.
Deleted member 17949
Visionary
- May 9, 2020
- 2,238
Yes I totally do. I am not okay, and their idea of help does not make me any more okay. It's frustrating.
Rabhen
Isolated Loner
- Dec 17, 2021
- 147
OMG I soooo understand. Yeah, when I begged and pleaded for help, love, attention, to feel good about myself, where the fuck was everyone?
Then you end up in the er and strapped to a bed in a locked ward and still no one, not a call, a card or a single flower.
Get let out and all of a sudden everyone wants to know how you are, where you are, wat are you doing, where are you going. Not to help, be there, listen, nope, to instead tell you how you shouldn't feel the way you feel and everyone does love you blah blah blah.
No. No one loves me, they love Who the WANT me to be or THINK I should be in their world according to them. All you gotta do is listen to how they talk about other people, 'fucking faggots, disgusting transvestites, this kind of person needs god, that kind of person should be locked up, ugly, fat, stupid, I hate being around blah blah blah' They will ALWAYS step on your toes but god forbid you step on theirs you sinner you.
dumblosergirl
girl failure
- Feb 13, 2023
- 70
I've always felt anger lately and I can never pinpoint exactly why. I think this post helped me figure it out. Here I am still alive and well and yet still not having anyone hear me out or even try to help. People have been so mean that I'm losing the last amount of kindness I have and I'm now miserable. Completely miserable. I don't have many friends and my family doesn't want anything to do with me. They all hurt me in some way. I so desperately want to be happy but it's impossible at this point.
I'm angry because no one cares till you're gone and they'll only cry out "Why did you do it?" AFTER the fact. This world is cruel.
I'm angry because no one cares till you're gone and they'll only cry out "Why did you do it?" AFTER the fact. This world is cruel.
those are very well written two sentences that verbalize what I am feeling way too well. thx
I might have a hope in help I found, but too much time passed, too much happened and too much did not happen. More than decade is far too long, I cant stand that the time, people, circumstances worth living already passed me years ago and now I am supposed to fight for a life some more? I cant take it either. An anger seems like reasonable reaction.
Rher
Member
- Nov 22, 2023
- 24
This is understandable, I have to say I feel the same. It can feel like that a lot and it happens to many people on this forum.
