abcz

abcz

confused with life
Sep 19, 2023
71
I don't know how I feel about life. Sometimes it is fine when other times it is awful. Like whatever I choose is the wrong choice. I dislike therapy. I know this about myself. But I'm told I'm burdening friends when telling them, and then my school found out and required me to go to therapy. The only way out of it is to stop but I also don't want my parents finding out and I know they would find out if I left. I know these thoughts will never leave forever and also that they never stay. But I don't understand how they think therapy will help me if I then leave it after a decent day just wanting some way to get out of it. I don't know what the right answer is but tbh I just need someone to talk to about this who I feel can listen and provide suggestions.

Like I'm told I have to do at least 6 more once a week and I am already scared for next week's. I don't know what to do. Also sorry I'm worried about messing up abreviations out of context so trying to not use them and also am hoping this is the right section but idk but I really just don't want a repeat of the last hour tbh.
 
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Valky

Valky

Petulant Child
Apr 4, 2023
1,322
I hate that so many people seem to think that therapy will magically just solve everything but at the same time I can't blame them for not knowing better than that cause neither do most of us.

There can be many reasons for why therapy might make you feel worse and they are absolutely valid.

I felt like that after years of therapy and just trying to get better but going to therapy kinda just pulled me back down into that hole, reliving all the things that happened, so I am stopped going.

Feel free to dm me once you have more messages and are able to. I'll listen :)
 
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abcz

abcz

confused with life
Sep 19, 2023
71
I also have the fear that I will say the wrong thing and others will decide to send me away and I will be left without a choice. And I'm scared as I did that before. It was years ago, but I am still scared of sharing some of those things with anyone because of this fear. And that was a friend trying to help me. It feels even harder to trust a therapist that doesnt have that same connection. I don't care about my relationship with the therapist. I will tell her to her face that I hate therapy and don't want to see her. I try to be a nice person but when I just know I will feel like crap and crying at the end, I just can't anymore.
 
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Inthewind

Inthewind

Wondering Waevern
Sep 19, 2023
101
I personally do not benefit from therapy, I went a few times because my parents forced me to and I just took a nap during it or played uno with the person. I heard somewhere that therapy will make you feel worse before you feel better, I mean they are trying to nudge you to find an answer for yourself by questioning a bunch, and I guess by revisiting memories increase your self awareness and try to resolve that in somewayy. For me at least, I have been trying to learn acceptance of the past, so anytime I get a thought of embarassing in the past I get myself to the present because that was 5 years agooo. Its helped when I get sad about past relationships and how the other person terminated it because they were bad(they cursed at me a bunch for not being good, it was toxic) and it wasnt healthy for either of us.
 

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