Does anyone feel dread when happy

[UnnervedCompany]

When life picks up and I have not felt suicidal in a very long time I sometimes feel heavy fear that in the near future the purgatory I was in will just come back. Currently in my life there is some hardships but nothing too bad or as bad as a while ago when I was fighting against CTB. I am now somewhat afraid that everything will just go back to how it was in my past. Does anyone else feel the same regarding being happy or at least okay in life?

 

[sadlittleman32]

When life picks up and I have not felt suicidal in a very long time I sometimes feel heavy fear that in the near future the purgatory I was in will just come back. Currently in my life there is some hardships but nothing too bad or as bad as a while ago when I was fighting against CTB. I am now somewhat afraid that everything will just go back to how it was in my past. Does anyone else feel the same regarding being happy or at least okay in life?

I've been feeling this way on/off for the last 15 years and quite frankly I'm sick it!

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Yes. And only to be proven right several times in the past when I wasn't cautious. So now have to actively remind myself to not get too ahead of myself or I'll end up hurting others again.

 

[qw3rty259]

Yeah, if you've gone through something really tough in your life you can develop severe anxiety. It's because your brain is trying to avoid the same shit happening to you again. Especially if something you went through was unexpected, your brain might start to expect a catch when everything goes too well i.e. thinking that something bad is about to happen

 

[Innereye]

First I need to know what happiness feels like in the first place

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Sometimes, usually because I know that happiness will go away.

 

[xulam]

When life picks up and I have not felt suicidal in a very long time I sometimes feel heavy fear that in the near future the purgatory I was in will just come back. Currently in my life there is some hardships but nothing too bad or as bad as a while ago when I was fighting against CTB. I am now somewhat afraid that everything will just go back to how it was in my past. Does anyone else feel the same regarding being happy or at least okay in life?

I do, whenever i'm slightly better I feel kinda guilty? as if i'm going against who i am, because it's what i'm used to. It's all too unstable. I feel so afraid of getting worse, that i make myself worse.