Does anyone else want to die because they’re too genetically flawed to be truly loved by a woman?

[Neogoloid]

I obviously have more reasons than that for why I want to die. But this is one of the major ones. Probably number one if I'm being honest.

I was born an ugly and short male, life simply isn't worth living as an ugly short guy. Nobody respects you or cares about you, or takes you seriously.

And most women don't wanna date you or have sex with you. And the ones who do date you, they can easily replace you with a better looking guy. You will likely be forced to settle, if you get "lucky".

Ugly men are destined to be alone or date someone they won't be happy with and it's just very disheartening.

Why bother trying at life when I know that life is luck based and I drew a bad card. Life is a tall white man's game.

 

[Specific_Milk]

I obviously have more reasons than that for why I want to die. But this is one of the major ones. Probably number one if I'm being honest.

I was born an ugly and short male, life simply isn't worth living as an ugly short guy. Nobody respects you or cares about you, or takes you seriously.

And most women don't wanna date you or have sex with you. And the ones who do date you, they can easily replace you with a better looking guy. You will likely be forced to settle, if you get "lucky".

Ugly men are destined to be alone or date someone they won't be happy with and it's just very disheartening.

Why bother trying at life when I know that life is luck based and I drew a bad card. Life is a tall white man's game.

it doesnt only apply to dating but to every aspect of life. Us humans like beautiful things, even ugly people hate other ugly people. It's just how we are wired. I used to look ok a few years ago and had a massive ego, the halo effect was definitely real. But for some reason genetics has decided to fuck me up and i've been suffering the consequences ever since. People say you shouldn't ctb for sth as shallow as looks but unfortunately, this sentiment only works if you're living off the grid. If you want to make it in today's world you've got to have it all, the looks and the smarts. Reality is irrational and cruel

 

[greebo6]

Its one of my reasons to exit this world. Being forever very ugly and consequently forever single is painful , lonely and frustrating.
In this world looks matter sadly. That won't change.
Of course , depression and anxiety are also , generally speaking , very unappealing to people too.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

As someone who has known love and lost it. I'd much rather have never been loved at all. Lost love is the one and only reason I am going to kill myself. I will be jumping to my death.

 

[loser098]

Have you tried just being confident?

In all seriousness, you'll likely never be good enough. The golden standard is tall, chiseled face, dominant etc. Sure, you have your niches or flavors, but they all draw from the same recipe. This doesn't change…ever. I've yet to see an exception and probably never will. Makes me cringe when society pretends that there's a lane for substandard males. Worse? Being gaslit into thinking you're not patient enough for 'the right one'

What sucks is knowing your oneitis would be all over you if you just had the right features.

The silver lining here is that when you're good-looking, you're given a free pass to deal with humanity's bullshit. Relationships hardly last and are very volatile, with plenty deception sandwiched between. This is true of the relationships that good-looking people experience throughout life. It isn't all kittens and sunshine.

If equality is something that humanity truly values, we can't have it until we all are on comparable standing in terms of physical attractiveness. Perhaps genetic engineering will address this in the future. Either way, it's too late for you and I.

 

[permanently tired]

In my opinion love is hard to find even if you are conventionally attractive. You might attract flings, however a long term relationship is hard to come by. It might sound cliche, but a lot of what attracted people is how they feel around you. Your words are your most powerful asset, be amicable, bold and open (but know your limits). If you can hold someone in conversation, the more likely you can use it as a way to be known. How do you start one? As I said you have to be bold, confidence is incredibly fun to be around. So go talk to someone. It's easy to start a conversation if the person is alone, or you're in a group setting together. Use the fact they're alone to strike a conversation. If they're in a group ask them how they met. If you make yourself known and they don't respond, they aren't interested in talking to you so continue with someone else.

Have you tried just being confident?

In all seriousness, you'll likely never be good enough. The golden standard is tall, chiseled face, dominant etc. Sure, you have your niches or flavors, but they all draw from the same recipe. This doesn't change…ever. I've yet to see an exception and probably never will. Makes me cringe when society pretends that there's a lane for substandard males. Worse? Being gaslit into thinking you're not patient enough for 'the right one'

What sucks is knowing your oneitis would be all over you if you just had the right features.

The silver lining here is that when you're good-looking, you're given a free pass to deal with humanity's bullshit. Relationships hardly last and are very volatile, with plenty deception sandwiched between. This is true of the relationships that good-looking people experience throughout life. It isn't all kittens and sunshine.

If equality is something that humanity truly values, we can't have it until we all are on comparable standing in terms of physical attractiveness. Perhaps genetic engineering will address this in the future. Either way, it's too late for you and I.

Genetic engineering reminds me of an old episode of twilight where everyone grew up and got a procedure to look conventionally attractive. We follow a girl who doesn't want that and I'm forgetting what happens, but she said something along the lines of if everyone looks the same no one is beautiful and nothing is interesting. Obviously, this is saying people being different is attractive and not talking about being "ugly" though. Although, people who are beautiful still have their insecurities and not every stretch of skin is perfect, they just hide the parts that aren't. You don't need to be the most beautiful person to have a relationship. They are rare people out there who don't care about that. Having an attractive aura will help you find people who don't. That's just my take though, so who really knows.

 

[Old Friend]

Have you tried just being confident?

A lot of women do find confidence attractive. Even if it's misplaced.

 

[daydreams]

In my opinion love is hard to find even if you are conventionally attractive. You might attract flings, however a long term relationship is hard to come by. It might sound cliche, but a lot of what attracted people is how they feel around you. Your words are your most powerful asset, be amicable, bold and open (but know your limits). If you can hold someone in conversation, the more likely you can use it as a way to be known. How do you start one? As I said you have to be bold, confidence is incredibly fun to be around. So go talk to someone. It's easy to start a conversation if the person is alone, or you're in a group setting together. Use the fact they're alone to strike a conversation. If they're in a group ask them how they met. If you make yourself known and they don't respond, they aren't interested in talking to you so continue with someone else.

Genetic engineering reminds me of an old episode of twilight where everyone grew up and got a procedure to look conventionally attractive. We follow a girl who doesn't want that and I'm forgetting what happens, but she said something along the lines of if everyone looks the same no one is beautiful and nothing is interesting. Obviously, this is saying people being different is attractive and not talking about being "ugly" though. Although, people who are beautiful still have their insecurities and not every stretch of skin is perfect, they just hide the parts that aren't. You don't need to be the most beautiful person to have a relationship. They are rare people out there who don't care about that. Having an attractive aura will help you find people who don't. That's just my take though, so who really knows.

Confidence has no benefits if you are ugly
It makes you more attractive if you are attractive to begin with

Yeah look is important, not only for a relationship but for every aspect of live, unfortunately there is a little that you can do about it and it won't make that big of a difference

 

[loser098]

A lot of women do find confidence attractive. Even if it's misplaced.

Halo effect

Search it.

 

[Old Friend]

Confidence has no benefits if you are ugly
It makes you more attractive if you are attractive to begin with

I'm not so sure. Some of these super- arrogant guys you get with women falling at their feet are hardly world heritage sites.

 

[movinout17]

I believe that personality and mentality is more important than physical appearance. But, personality and mentality is partly genetic

 

[wait.what]

Ugly men are destined to be alone or date someone they won't be happy with and it's just very disheartening.

I hear this argument a lot, and I wonder where the idea comes from that less-attractive men can only have sexual and relationship access to women they don't even like.

You've got to have other interests besides looking at women you consider much more attractive than you, right? Presumably you have interests, goals, tastes, and values that you might share with another person, or at least you probably did before you became so weary of life.

It's up to you to decide whether it's worth it to care about this issue at this point. Often, once people shut down the mental machinery that grinds out hopes and aspirations for them, they find it exhausting and painful to turn it back on again. I won't hold it against you if you just don't give a fuck.

But seriously…people don't have to be 4 alarm hotties to be good companions. Which is just as well, since the average lifespan in developed countries is like 75 or something, and almost no one makes it through their 40's as a 4 alarm hotty.

 

[sleepyhollow]

As a girl, I would just like to say that being handsome is NOT the first thing I look for in a man. It is my opinion that looks (and height) are just a bonus. Like some other people have pointed out, looks don't last. I may look young and pretty now, but give it a few decades and I will be old, hunched over, and...well, not ugly, hopefully, but maybe a little less full of vitality.

The point is, I have witnessed many a person who is not conventionally attractive by societal standards and who found a significant other simply because they were genuine and they utilized their valuable personality traits, such as being comical, hard-working, caring, intelligent, etc., to their advantage.

I am truly sorry that you have had such trouble in finding a significant other up to this point, but I promise that there are people, like me, who will not, for lack of a more appropriate phrase, "judge the book by its cover."

 

[ChronicPain23]

I have never been in a relationship with a woman and I don't want to, because I am not suitable to live here, to live this dynamic life like the norm. When you are in a relationship with a woman, you have to give her emotions, go out with her all the time, give her gifts, but I couldn't do it. Unfortunately, being ugly or short are big disadvantages. Women, even if they deny that it doesn't matter to them, are subconsciously guided by appearance when choosing a partner. I don't want to offend women or blame them for anything, that's just what life has taught me, I've experienced it, I've seen a lot.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I understand the pain it brings to feel ugly, however I think you're putting so much value on the exterior that you're forgetting the interior.

My boyfriend is on the spectrum of autism, is overweight and short. Last time he got to his biggest weight ever, was really obese. All of this never really mattered to me.

My main drive for attraction is intelligence, kindness and sense of humour. My bf won my heart with his knowledge on computers and videogames and his awkwardness which I find adorable. Not everyone is so focused on appearances, they matter very little anyway as everyone will get older and uglier. I already have white hairs and I'm not even 30.

You have your own qualities and quirks, you should be loved by those things and not how tall or ugly you may be. For years I thought I'd never find my person until it happened when I was already done looking for it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I don't place too much emphasis on this for some strange reason. I suffer from being unattractive but my reason for wanting to be dead is because of how hard life is and how I don't reap the rewards that many humans do. Nevermind not having a partner, I was never even able to make a mere friend... or even an acquaintance

 

[Photographer Fizzle]

In my opinion love is hard to find even if you are conventionally attractive. You might attract flings, however a long term relationship is hard to come by. It might sound cliche, but a lot of what attracted people is how they feel around you. Your words are your most powerful asset, be amicable, bold and open (but know your limits). If you can hold someone in conversation, the more likely you can use it as a way to be known. How do you start one? As I said you have to be bold, confidence is incredibly fun to be around. So go talk to someone. It's easy to start a conversation if the person is alone, or you're in a group setting together. Use the fact they're alone to strike a conversation. If they're in a group ask them how they met. If you make yourself known and they don't respond, they aren't interested in talking to you so continue with someone else.

Genetic engineering reminds me of an old episode of twilight where everyone grew up and got a procedure to look conventionally attractive. We follow a girl who doesn't want that and I'm forgetting what happens, but she said something along the lines of if everyone looks the same no one is beautiful and nothing is interesting. Obviously, this is saying people being different is attractive and not talking about being "ugly" though. Although, people who are beautiful still have their insecurities and not every stretch of skin is perfect, they just hide the parts that aren't. You don't need to be the most beautiful person to have a relationship. They are rare people out there who don't care about that. Having an attractive aura will help you find people who don't. That's just my take though, so who really knows.

You're referring to "Number 12 Looks Just Like You" from The Twilight Zone's fifth season. The procedure isn't just to make them conventionally attractive but to put them into one of three or four molds of attractiveness. To the main point, though, one does not usually conclude they are unattractive on their own. It is a group effort. Bullies in school. Childhood love interests. Adult crushes. Even parents. So, they're psychological damage to the self-esteem that precludes the notion that you can just act confident. Someone I know is short and not generally attractive, but he is wildly confident. That' because he managed to evade the social batterings telling him he wasnt. He might have had a safe haven when he was young innoculating him from that. A lot of people who compare their bad experiences favorably to those of others whp had the same but became killers, for instance, fail to acknowledge their supportive coach or loving cousin or first girlfriend. I've found all it takea is one strong supportive and consistent voice. But a lot of never had that.

So, no, I don't think he's hopeless especially if economics are no challenge for him, but I do know, having scaled my own mountain of poor self image, that the climb will be long and arduous and require him to face his deepest fears head on perhaps hundreds of time.

 

[nptg5]

In my opinion love is hard to find even if you are conventionally attractive. You might attract flings, however a long term relationship is hard to come by. It might sound cliche, but a lot of what attracted people is how they feel around you. Your words are your most powerful asset, be amicable, bold and open (but know your limits). If you can hold someone in conversation, the more likely you can use it as a way to be known. How do you start one? As I said you have to be bold, confidence is incredibly fun to be around. So go talk to someone. It's easy to start a conversation if the person is alone, or you're in a group setting together. Use the fact they're alone to strike a conversation. If they're in a group ask them how they met. If you make yourself known and they don't respond, they aren't interested in talking to you so continue with someone else.

this is kind of a good point... normally i think exactly like the OP, and it just makes me depressed and want to CTB. then i remember that i've met a number of people who are "ugly" (i hate being so crass) and have been very successful in relationships, and have gotten "attractive" partners. what they have is charisma. can charisma be learned? i don't know, but, i think there's hope, at least.

conversely i've known "attractive" couples who just... don't like each other. they go on for a number of years and just become more and more sour. it seems honestly pretty fucking miserable. i can think of one such couple who went on to have kids, and that just seemed to make it harder. i mean, they both love their kids, but they don't like each other... and fuck, when i see them, it just sucks. they don't get along. they have sex once in awhile, maybe. there is always an air of tension and uneasiness. i am *really* glad i'm not in a relationship with someone i don't like, "attractive" or not.

on the whole, the situation just seems really shitty. this is all my perspective in the US. i sometimes wonder if arranged marriages might be a better situation... if the societal expectation that you have to try really hard to get along with your partner would somehow be better overall.

 

[Mistiie]

this is kind of a good point... normally i think exactly like the OP, and it just makes me depressed and want to CTB. then i remember that i've met a number of people who are "ugly" (i hate being so crass) and have been very successful in relationships, and have gotten "attractive" partners. what they have is charisma. can charisma be learned? i don't know, but, i think there's hope, at least.

Charisma can absolutely be gained. After all, socialising is a skill. Some of us are more naturally adept at it than others, but you can master it much like everything else, to a degree.

 

[PairOfAirJordan1’s]

I believe that personality and mentality is more important than physical appearance. But, personality and mentality is partly genetic

In terms of long term relationship, yes. but if you are an individual lower on the scale of attractiveness, the issue becomes getting into a relationship, because a high percentage of people won't even give you a shot.

 

[Meditation guide]

Would you guys take an ugly woman? An obese one? Just wondering. Because there are an equal number of physically unattractive women as there are men.

Or do you imagine all women to look like cam girls and tictoc girls?

The ugliest man I've ever seen was also one of the most popular with women, his personality did it.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Would you guys take an ugly woman? An obese one? Just wondering. Because there are an equal number of physically unattractive women as there are men.

Or do you imagine all women to look like cam girls and tictoc girls?

Extremely valid question lol

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

To be honest, in this day and age, you're probably better off. Not even joking. Women are just as scandalous as men these days. It's a constant mind fuck. Not worth it IMHO.

 

[damnatio memoriae]

I'm a "handsome" and tall guy. I can't do anything with my genetics whatsoever because I'm completely fucked and deranged in the head. Life is a cruel joke

 

[BlockHammer]

I've never been in a relationship and my appearence is mid at best (meaning im not ugly nor handsome), but from what i heard if you had some charisma and confidence, there's a change that woman want to be with you. That being said i think there's some level of ugliness that a man/woman can accept, say that you had a fun personality but your face is really ugly, there's a big change that woman don't want to be with you.

Another thing to considered is that, if u have enough money, maybe a woman can accept you but i dont recomended this because probably they just want you because of your money

 

[Abyssal]

I'm too genetically flawed to love myself, does that count?

 

[CPY]

Being unattractive (and everything that comes with it) is part of the reason why I wish to not exist along with my OCD.Both comes down to bad genetics.However if I had to choose I would much prefer my mental illness go away rather than be attractive.At least I could have a semblance of a normal life

 

[ropearoundatree]

I think it would have been nice to have stayed in the country in which I was born. As with the one I am in, for my sex-by and large, due to culture… we represent that which is least desirable to the opposite; & so, it just would've been nice to fail on (all other things being equal: which they never are) my own, or different merits, shall we say? :)

Would you guys take an ugly woman? An obese one? Just wondering. Because there are an equal number of physically unattractive women as there are men.

Or do you imagine all women to look like cam girls and tictoc girls?

The ugliest man I've ever seen was also one of the most popular with women, his personality did it.

This is true. I'm sure it can't be any easier for them.

I think it would have been nice to have stayed in the country in which I was born. As with the one I am in, for my sex-by and large, due to culture… we represent that which is least desirable to the opposite; & so, it just would've been nice to fail on (all other things being equal: which they never are) my own, or different merits, shall we say? :)

This is true. I'm sure it can't be any easier for them.

Only thing I would add to the equation is this, and this goes for both I guess... but often times, you can't get to those other qualities everyone is speaking of, if you can't get-over the attractiveness hurdle, first. Because I do think we live in a world where looks matter. It may not to everyone, all of the time, but-

 

[Meditation guide]

I think it would have been nice to have stayed in the country in which I was born. As with the one I am in, for my sex-by and large, due to culture… we represent that which is least desirable to the opposite; & so, it just would've been nice to fail on (all other things being equal: which they never are) my own, or different merits, shall we say? :)

This is true. I'm sure it can't be any easier for them.

Only thing I would add to the equation is this, and this goes for both I guess... but often times, you can't get to those other qualities everyone is speaking of, if you can't get-over the attractiveness hurdle, first. Because I do think we live in a world where looks matter. It may not to everyone, all of the time, but-

So basically the (incorrect) assumption is that only attractive people manage to find mates and lovers.
The rest are automatically doomed to live their entire lives, never having found love, sex, or a partner.

How have these ugly people managed to reproduce?

Have you ever heard the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? I've seen the most handsome men select ugly women and find them highly desirable, and the same for beautiful women with ugly men and no not rich ones. I've seen it over and over. It's very subjective.

People often have terrible taste, and have no idea what is attractive or ugly.

 

[ropearoundatree]

So basically the (incorrect) assumption is that only attractive people manage to find mates and lovers.
The rest are automatically doomed to live their entire lives, never having found love, sex, or a partner.

How have these ugly people managed to reproduce?

Have you ever heard the phrase "beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? I've seen the most handsome men select ugly women and find them highly desirable, and the same for beautiful women with ugly men and no not rich ones. I've seen it over and over. It's very subjective.

People often have terrible taste, and have no idea what is attractive or ugly.

I apologize for any confusion, or misunderstanding with my post. I was basically only agreeing with you in the part that I'd quoted. I realize that with the way it lumps all of our responses together like this, however, that it can make it sound as if I was disputing what you'd said. In contrary to any refutation, whether in directly to what I may have said otherwise, I can only express myself based on my experiences in my life. And my views are solely my own, and subject to debate, or differences in opinion. I am merely a sample-size of one. When I was writing, I was more stating how I see things, and not necessarily how I believe everyone should see them, or even that I am (necessarily) "right." Also, I don't have any problem with anything you've said in response to my post, or my words to you specifically.

And to try to answer your question, to the best of my ability... I think that we all try to attain the most desirable mate that we can in life, whatever that definition happens to be.