Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
This isn't my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one reason. Today in my group therapy class, someone was sharing their story and asking for feedback and I couldn't give any because I had a hard time paying attention. Also when I do pay attention, I can't process it sometimes. I feel slow and dumb as hell.
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
I do feel like I lack input. Maybe it's not so much that I can't pay attention, but I can never think of anything meaningful to say to people. I feel like any advice I give is meaningless filler to try to distract the person. I can't help anyone or even say anything interesting to them. It does make me feel more pointless.
 
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G

Georgii

Arcanist
Sep 25, 2019
433
I feel you .
Like you said ,it isn't my main reason but it does contribute.I had countless times when I just stood dumbfounded bc it took me a while to actually process what someone just said .Or I couldn't focus on someone talking /story telling .
Even a harder time when I find myself in a group of people, all talking with each other while I can't keep up with the conversation.
It sucks I know ...
 
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agentgeez

agentgeez

Student
Jun 30, 2020
107
Cognitive ability in general is a big problem for me. Not only is it difficult for me to pay attention, but I have a hard time following, keeping track, saying something witty or meaningful at times, or even responding at all. And it's not just social ability. I feel like I'm slow at putting things together, noticing details, learning from mistakes; it feels like my thoughts and words are just incoherent. I don't know if I've always been like this. But I value cognitive ability a lot so it feels bad to feel so slow. I think the social difficulties are perhaps partly connected to why I'm avoidant/never initiate conversation with others. Talking to someone just feels like a trial that I have to pass in order to gain friendship, it's not inherently fun unless I feel like I'm socially 'flowing'.
 
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M

meerpasta

Member
Jan 29, 2020
55
I'm gonna make some assumptions about why you're feeling like this because you mentioned therapy and this symptom so correct me if I'm wrong, but having a bad attentionspan isn't usually inherent stupidity. You get these kind of low energy and shitty attentionspan symptoms from trauma because you're overwhelmed with your own problems already so there's little space for others when you're already worn down and fighting for yourself with constant heavy thoughts creating a sort of fog in your mind. It's not that you're dumb, you're most likely just damaged. Perhaps it doesn't sound that much better but it means it's not your fault. Try to imagine you're directing these thoughts at someone else when beating yourself down about it, you wouldn't blame another person for being in your own situation right? So you should be fair to yourself too, even if it's hard you deserve it just as much as they do.

Not to say wanting to CTB because of it isn't valid because we all do it to escape bad situations, but I don't think you should feel stupid because of it.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Cognitive ability in general is a big problem for me. Not only is it difficult for me to pay attention, but I have a hard time following, keeping track, saying something witty or meaningful at times, or even responding at all. And it's not just social ability. I feel like I'm slow at putting things together, noticing details, learning from mistakes; it feels like my thoughts and words are just incoherent. I don't know if I've always been like this. But I value cognitive ability a lot so it feels bad to feel so slow. I think the social difficulties are perhaps partly connected to why I'm avoidant/never initiate conversation with others. Talking to someone just feels like a trial that I have to pass in order to gain friendship, it's not inherently fun unless I feel like I'm socially 'flowing'.
I have problems with that too. It's so frustrating.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
6,710
It's not my reason, but I have other reasons such as Aspergers, inability to do well in things most people take for granted, being bad at motor skills activities and sports (though I was never really into sports to begin with), and other reasons. Most of mine have to deal with the reality in which I live in; a shitty society, the road that humanity has taken and getting darker and more desolate, society getting worse, and then of course, philosophical and personal reasons too.
 
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MeriDeath

MeriDeath

Im on the edge of reality
May 10, 2020
213
This isn't my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one reason. Today in my group therapy class, someone was sharing their story and asking for feedback and I couldn't give any because I had a hard time paying attention. Also when I do pay attention, I can't process it sometimes. I feel slow and dumb as hell.

I feel its not only about "not paying attention". Right now in your life youre going through a process which the outcome of it is going to be death (I guess) so its ok if at times youre not able to understand something or totally grasp it. I mean, sky is falling down on me and I dont know if im able to always be there for others and for that they will have to forgive me/you. (Or maybe not)
 
Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
I'm gonna make some assumptions about why you're feeling like this because you mentioned therapy and this symptom so correct me if I'm wrong, but having a bad attentionspan isn't usually inherent stupidity. You get these kind of low energy and shitty attentionspan symptoms from trauma because you're overwhelmed with your own problems already so there's little space for others when you're already worn down and fighting for yourself with constant heavy thoughts creating a sort of fog in your mind. It's not that you're dumb, you're most likely just damaged. Perhaps it doesn't sound that much better but it means it's not your fault. Try to imagine you're directing these thoughts at someone else when beating yourself down about it, you wouldn't blame another person for being in your own situation right? So you should be fair to yourself too, even if it's hard you deserve it just as much as they do.

Not to say wanting to CTB because of it isn't valid because we all do it to escape bad situations, but I don't think you should feel stupid because of it.
That could be it because I do focus on my problems a lot. I just feel like shit and stupid because I can't focus
 
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Living_Hurts_so_Much

Experienced
Jul 30, 2020
261
I think my inability to pay attention at times just comes down to not giving a sh1t anymore. I feel so isolated inside and just show what I'm "supposed to" on the outside.
 
B

Bigyeah

Member
Jul 18, 2020
51
This isn't my main reason for wanting to ctb, but it's one reason. Today in my group therapy class, someone was sharing their story and asking for feedback and I couldn't give any because I had a hard time paying attention. Also when I do pay attention, I can't process it sometimes. I feel slow and dumb as hell.
Wild that someone is experiencing the "slow and numbness" & lack of focus when trying to listen and give attention to others. I thought I was the only one.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Wild that someone is experiencing the "slow and numbness" & lack of focus when trying to listen and give attention to others. I thought I was the only one.
Nope, you're not the only one. It's really annoying.
 
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sadghost

sadghost

S
May 17, 2020
232
Yeahh I have ADD and it affects every aspect of my life.. I'm sorry OP as I know it is very debilitating to struggle with attentiveness :hug:
 
CalmStrikeofMercy

CalmStrikeofMercy

Detatched Observer.
Dec 8, 2019
79
Psychotropic drugs is like being in a strait jacket.


I have troubles with my chronemics as I do not always understand who people are and when and how to talk to them.
Lots of people on gov. radar which makes mixing with people scary as they usually wait to reveal who they truly are and what they are doing and not wanting to get caught in the cross fire.

Got into astrophysics and astronomy and cosmology...vast world out there.
There are just so many different mythos out there and ways of understanding the world that fitting in is difficult as well as knowing what is truly going on.
Mixed with all the social movements happening on a local, state, regional, international, and national and continental level.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Yeahh I have ADD and it affects every aspect of my life.. I'm sorry OP as I know it is very debilitating to struggle with attentiveness :hug:
Sometimes I wonder if I have ADD, but I have a list of diagnoses already
 
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ryla2090

Student
Feb 22, 2020
101
This is actually one of my reasons as well.