Does anyone else view their existence as tragic?

[sserafim]

Does anyone else view their existence as tragic? I think that mine is tragic because I was given opportunities (to succeed), but never properly utilized them. I think that I self-sabotaged a lot because perhaps I didn't want to reach success. Other people have bright futures, but I don't have or want one. I see my existence itself as a tragedy because I never reached my full potential.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

hmmm i guess so. i tried everything you're supposed to do to be 'better'/'recover' only for things to get worse & keep devolving. i genuinely think i wasn't meant to be a person, & life's proven me right consistently. i do not need anymore proof. lol

 

[violetskies]

i feel exactly the same :( i feel like i was given so many opportunities and i just fucked them up or burned out. everything could've been so much better and now i've ruined it

 

[dragonofenvy]

I feel like if there were just a few things that changed I would've been fine. Maybe not being born on the spectrum. Maybe if my mother had actually been a proper parent. Maybe if I had gone to a different university. I feel like I tried. I know I fucked up along the way, but I also know that some of it wasn't my fault. It's hard for me not to be envious of people who are born with greater opportunities and who can utilize them (ie: rich kids whose parents have connections and can get them great success), especially if those same people tell me that I have to try harder. If you have those opportunities and fuck up I'm really sorry. If you have those opportunities and succeed you need to realize that not everyone is as lucky as you, some people objectively have to put in more for less.

Now how many people do you know who are in those situations like that empathize instead of telling you to just be better at life? The ones I've met haven't been. That's why I'm so envious of them and so hateful of myself.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Yes !!!!
Every Day

 

[sserafim]

I feel like if there were just a few things that changed I would've been fine. Maybe not being born on the spectrum. Maybe if my mother had actually been a proper parent. Maybe if I had gone to a different university. I feel like I tried. I know I fucked up along the way, but I also know that some of it wasn't my fault. It's hard for me not to be envious of people who are born with greater opportunities and who can utilize them (ie: rich kids whose parents have connections and can get them great success), especially if those same people tell me that I have to try harder. If you have those opportunities and fuck up I'm really sorry. If you have those opportunities and succeed you need to realize that not everyone is as lucky as you, some people objectively have to put in more for less.

Now how many people do you know who are in those situations like that empathize instead of telling you to just be better at life? The ones I've met haven't been. That's why I'm so envious of them and so hateful of myself.

I'm also on the spectrum so I think that's a factor in my failure. I think that if I weren't on it, I could've been successful. Being neurodivergent is such a struggle in this world. Maybe I wasn't meant to succeed in this life…

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I feel as though my existence is more tragic towards those around me than it is to me. I'm a complete failure who has only burdened those closest to me. My family only likes me because of the image that they've projected on to me, an image that I've spent most of my life trying to uphold. They refuse to acknowledge the actual damage I've caused all of them. There's only been a few moments in my life in which they've been honest about said frustation with my existence and how it's ruined their lives. Otherwise, they're in complete denial about it.

It sucks because it makes ctbing harder for me to do. Yesterday, my dad kept on talking about how much I understand him and kept on talking about how smart I am (I'm actually a major idiot). It made me wish that I had the guts to reveal all of the shitty things I've done since it would mean him shedding that image of me he has in head and making him resent me. It be easier to ctb if my family resented me, especially him. My family's love for "me" is something that I'm both thankful for but that I also hate. Knowing that this fake version of me is who they love and that if they knew who I really was and could see me for the horrible person I am, the person who has caused them so much pain, that they would probably disown me immediately, hurts.

 

[StandardOtter]

Tragic sounds too grand, too meaningful. I'm not tragic. I'm pathetic.

 

[Guy Smiley]

Does anyone else view their existence as tragic? I think that mine is tragic because I was given opportunities (to succeed), but never properly utilized them. I think that I self-sabotaged a lot because perhaps I didn't want to reach success. Other people have bright futures, but I don't have or want one. I see my existence itself as a tragedy because I never reached my full potential.

I view my life as tragic for myself and my family. But as far as the world is concerned, it hardly matters. And as far as the universe is concerned, it doesn't matter at all.

BTW, just curious...who is your profile pic? I'm sorry if it's some famous person that I should know, but I don't really keep up with celebrity culture.

 

[sserafim]

I view my life as tragic for myself and my family. But as far as the world is concerned, it hardly matters. And as far as the universe is concerned, it doesn't matter at all.

BTW, just curious...who is your profile pic? I'm sorry if it's some famous person that I should know, but I don't really keep up with celebrity culture.

Yeah, unfortunately we're just meaningless specks of dust in the greater scheme of things. Lol it's a kpop idol

 

[qu13t5l33p]

I don't see mine that way. While I have been given many opportunities to succeed, I've also been shackled with overbearing inevitable failures. Rather than tragic, I see my life as expected and predictable, especially if I can CTB.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Yes, my existence is tragic and not because I have any opportunities to succeed or anything. I don't care if I have any opportunities to succeed or not as I never wanted to succeed in the first place. Actually, there's an exception to my previous statement as I did get angry whenever I lost at anything when I was a kid but, as I grew up, that feeling faded and I grew apathetic to failing. I'd say that I quickly decided that I don't really care about succeeding or about anything in this life as this life just isn't worth pursuing for me. I never really experienced much pleasure in life to begin with and so I don't really want to life through life even if success were to be handed to me on a silver platter

My existence is tragic because my neurotype (caused by autism) has cursed me. I don't feel much pleasure from anything and I always wished for death as it meant that I don't have to do anything... I don't have to function. My existence is tragic because I should have never been here in the first place as I think death suits me more than life and always have

 

[mortuarymary]

Im tragic because I'm ill. I never asked for bipolar, ME or long covid.
I have given away amazing opportunities because of all of this and yes I regret It.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Completely. My Mum put off having chemo because she didn't want to abort me and she loved life. It may not have saved her but, I wish she'd done it- if only it had extended her life a little. In my mind, she died and she loved life. I lived and I hate it. I think that's a tragic waste.

It's not that I haven't tried either. I tried hard with what I had despite other shitty things happening too. I used to sometimes get the lecture- 'You need to do it (succeed and be happy in life) for them.' I really don't like that phrase though- it isn't my fault I'm here. Why is it now my responsibility to do this? Besides- they're not here anymore to either help or witness it. I don't really believe in heaven and as much as I'd love to believe it, when people die, they don't stay with us (in my experience.) When they're gone, we're on our own.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

Yes. The whole life after 2004 or 2008 has been a series of unfortunate mistakes