Discussion Does anyone else think they are paying for their mistakes or wrongdoings?w

[Mgl91]

Sometimes I think that the things that happened to me these last years is karma and I am paying for the things that I did wrong some time or the kind of person that I was as a teenager. Sometimes when I cry I apologize for the things or people that I could hurt. I get to think that sometimes I even deserve to feel miserable and that everything is a punishment.

 

[cantgetoutofbed]

Sometimes I think that the things that happened to me these last years is karma and I am paying for the things that I did wrong some time or the kind of person that I was as a teenager. Sometimes when I cry I apologize for the things or people that I could hurt. I get to think that sometimes I even deserve to feel miserable and that everything is a punishment.

I can relate to this. Though I was abused as a child and teenager, so all that I did in relationships (manipulation, etc) came out of trauma. But sometimes I wonder if the pain I'm suffering is due to karma. That this is, indeed, a punishment. Are you depressed?

 

[SoIntoYou]

"I don't believe in Karma. If it were real I would never win." - The Gambler (Path of Exile).

 

[Mgl91]

I can relate to this. Though I was abused as a child and teenager, so all that I did in relationships (manipulation, etc) came out of trauma. But sometimes I wonder if the pain I'm suffering is due to karma. That this is, indeed, a punishment. Are you depressed?

I've been depressed for a long time and looking for a way to go in peace. what worries me the most is to normalize being sad all the time nobody deserves to live that way

 

[Rn110bg101]

it depends. part of me believes it's all karma for something I did in a past life (even though I don't really believe in those, go figure), but lately i've realized that actually, I'm a horrible human person, so maybe it's karma for something i did in this life but my brain is not letting me remember/realize what

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Yes, I get this. Whether being punished for wrongdoings in this life, or maybe being punished for wrongdoings in past lives.
Whatever it is, there must be a reason why we become conscious humans at some point in the history of the universe, why we are born as a particular person in time with conscious experiences.
13.8 billion years after the big bang, we awaken on earth, we suffer, everything appears to be random and meaningless and tragic. This cannot just be the end of the story.
There must be an underlying rationale to this, what david bohm called the implicate order. Something more fundamental at work.
Whether it is a metaphysical process, a purposeful unfolding of quantum mechanical laws, the will of a supernatural mind, whatever. It cannot just be meaningless suffering. I refuse to accept that.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I do. I feel like being mean when I was younger and failing to take opportunities or care about anything has built up some wall of negativity that I need to break down before I can actually make progress. In reality I don't think this is the case, but it feels like it at times.

 

[Rn110bg101]

I did use to believe that there was just no reason for it, but things came up one after another, after another, after another… to the point where now, there's no way it's not for a reason

 

[XYZ]

Totally. I'm paying for being weak, stupid and making all the wrong decisions I could have made. I was also dealt a shitty hand at birth so that dont help.

 

[RRH]

Absolutely. I acted horrible to some of my friends last year and made a lot of bad choices. I think Karma has come back to bite me.

 

[parasytes_]

Most definitely OP. It's hard for me to admit, but I think what I'm experiencing now is what I get for just being an insufferable person. I've made so many mistakes and bad choices, and have mistreated so many people. I first started to feel that the world really wanted me to just die or kill myself at one point in time in the past, and I honestly regret not doing it back then.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I don't really believe in karma but damn I have the worst luck posdible. I have done nothing particularly wrong or bad to anyone except lashing out and revenge on my abusers..but they deserved it. I have bpd so I have bad mood swings and misplaced anger towards innocent people like family members. I often wonder if I'm cursed or something...like my purpose in this world was to suffer. Intend obsolescence built into the system.

 

[I screwed up]

Yes I m responsible for my situation ... I have dug my own grave

 

[little froggie]

i def know what it's like to feel like u deserve to be miserable.. it sucks. i might sound like a hypocrite cuz i legit hate my guts lol but nobody is perfect, everyone has done awful things. and imo-- no matter what you've done, it doesn't make u deserve to truly suffer pointlessly any more than the next person. it sounds like u rly care a lot, ppl who care a lot are more vulnerable to suffering pain. ik it can be crazy tough getting over past mistakes tho.. i hope you can find a way to get through this

life sucks enough as it is with the world against u, it's overkill to pit yourself against you as well <3

 

[Mitokondrium]

I used to, but not really any more. For years I was sure that I deserved everything I got, but looking back, I am pretty sure I was not such a bad person, just someone who went through horrible things.

 

[Exhausted1705]

Sometimes I think that the things that happened to me these last years is karma and I am paying for the things that I did wrong some time or the kind of person that I was as a teenager. Sometimes when I cry I apologize for the things or people that I could hurt. I get to think that sometimes I even deserve to feel miserable and that everything is a punishment.

Me too. You are not alone

 

[ceelo]

I've come to realise karma is both real but also totally internal that is to say manifestations of negative outcomes from conscience, neuroticism, avoidance etcetc

 

[Toptock]

Sometimes I think that the things that happened to me these last years is karma and I am paying for the things that I did wrong some time or the kind of person that I was as a teenager. Sometimes when I cry I apologize for the things or people that I could hurt. I get to think that sometimes I even deserve to feel miserable and that everything is a punishment.

I don't think it's fair to do this to yourself. Especially if you've grown into another person through the years. Shame is acceptable for the person you once were, but why complain about the paint you had before? Over the years you've grown, applied more layers to yourself. I'm not saying "get over it," but personally, i don't believe life has anything against you.

 

[TAW122]

I'm not a believer of karma, so no I don't believe that I am paying for the wrongdoings nor anyone really. Sometimes bad people get away scot free while the good people are mercilessly punished by unfortunate event after unfortunate event. I think the only things guaranteed in life, at least in this existence is death and taxes.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I'm not a believer of karma, so no I don't believe that I am paying for the wrongdoings nor anyone really. Sometimes bad people get away scot free while the good people are mercilessly punished by unfortunate event after unfortunate event. I think the only things guaranteed in life, at least in this existence is death and taxes.

But maybe the bad people 'getting away scot free' will somehow repay their wrongdoing in another life, and good people getting punished are actually paying for wrongdoings in past lives?
I don't know if karma exists, but it is natural to think that things somehow must balance out in the universe.

 

[EraseRewind]

I agree that there is some sort of Karma, I'm not sure what religion/spiritual base it has but I believe that I have and am paying for the poor behaviour I have been responsible for. There were not many very bad examples against other people but where they were bad they were bad and my last period of very bad stuff happened during the worse of my drinking and I lost the respect and brought shame on my family. I know that I'm paying for that and I may never balance the books.

While I was in the worst of my addiction I was not a nice person but I had money, some power and a lot of arrogance so I didn't care then. I guess that what goes around comes around and maybe I can't complain.

 

[alexit]

Yes, absolutely. I see this as THE reason for my pain.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I don't believe in karma. Far too often I've witnessed good people suffer and bad people profit.

 

[strawberryfield]

definitely. i've always been a bad person so now i'm getting what i deserve

 

[esse_est_percipi]

I don't believe in karma. Far too often I've witnessed good people suffer and bad people profit.

But karma supposedly works across many lifetimes. Someone could do bad things, but only experience the effects of karmic punishment after reincarnation, not during the lifetime where they did the bad things.
I'm not saying I believe it or that it's logical (If you can't remember who you were or what you did in a previous life, then what sense is there in being punished?), just that the karmic effects of bad or good acts come after death and rebirth. Unless I am wrong and have misunderstood it.

 

[Vault of Memories]

Sometimes I have the thought of being a serial killer or something in a past life and this is karma. It's nothing I seriously believe, but if it were true my pain would be justified.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

Yes, absolutely. I see this as THE reason for my pain.

But do you believe you are being punished for bad things you did in this life, or in past lives that you cannot remember?
I tend to think that I am somehow being punished for bad things I did in past lives that I cannot remember, though I have no evidence for this and in some ways it seems illogical if I'm not the same person and don't remember.

Sometimes I have the thought of being a serial killer or something in a past life and this is karma. It's nothing I seriously believe, but if it were true my pain would be justified.

Yes, I think the same sometimes. Like, maybe I did really bad things in a past life and my suffering is some sort of cosmic justice.

 

[Leshen]

Maybe we're in hell or some kind of a twisted simulation, but I don't really think that's true. As humans we have the need for justice, we want to believe that there's something more to our existence than... this. So we come up with those crazy ideas about karma, reincarnation or hell, but it's probably just all in our heads.

I often have a feeling that I was someone else before, but now I'm this thing that isn't really me, this world doesn't seem real, existence is like a bad dream I can't wake up from... but that's probably just dissociation, right?

"I don't believe in Karma. If it were real I would never win." - The Gambler (Path of Exile).

Oh, a fellow PoE player! xD

 

[asdasan]

Totally. I'm paying for being weak, stupid and making all the wrong decisions I could have made. I was also dealt a shitty hand at birth so that dont help.

my thoughts exactly

 

[Deleted member 18655]