Livingvsdying25
Enlightened
- Dec 8, 2019
- 1,188
Okk so I slept kinda? But very intense/vivid dreams and stuff so that was freaking annoying.
None of them were bad though and very interesting deep stories but alas didn't produce the most quality sleep.
So now its morning my brain is active and Im hungry
Like I don't wanna.eat I just wanna go back to sleep but nopeeee now I gotta get up warm up food let it cool, eat it and then watch something engaging so that my brain is occupied like
I don't mind being neurodivergent but damn my active ass brain!! I dont.always wanna eat and I hate how much I can struggle to sleep/how much of a struggle it is in general...
I think ima just have a cup noddles and some snacks... eat another CBN gummy and some CBD capsules and then hopefully shall get some more sleep....
If I could just turn my body/brain off that would be nice but I guess thats what I am seeking in death..
Kkkkk sighhhs getting up now to start the kettle. I just want a peaceful day today. Chillin at home. Watching whatever but truthfully just wanna sleep for the day. Still tryna just escape my mind and keep it easy going so that I'm not triggered or activated. I need spend some time calm if ima ctb kinda thing.
My daydreams have been of the future involving people in my life but that's dangerous thing bc I don't wanna delve into life again. Maybe im just being stubborn and there is a way for me to live this life I dunno anymore but its stressful to think about...
I dont wanna dip my toes back into life without having materials to die. I owe it to myself to be able to have a chance in both. Soo yee...
But with nitrogen gas(still needa read more about it) the storage is important so that worries me. I'd like to have a method and store it for a bit but with nitrogen I may just needa save my money for it kinda thing?
I dunnooooo ugh I don't wanna get up rn... but needa eat and watch something to put me to sleep.
Anyway sometimes bein a human sucks tbh
None of them were bad though and very interesting deep stories but alas didn't produce the most quality sleep.
So now its morning my brain is active and Im hungry
Like I don't wanna.eat I just wanna go back to sleep but nopeeee now I gotta get up warm up food let it cool, eat it and then watch something engaging so that my brain is occupied like
I don't mind being neurodivergent but damn my active ass brain!! I dont.always wanna eat and I hate how much I can struggle to sleep/how much of a struggle it is in general...
I think ima just have a cup noddles and some snacks... eat another CBN gummy and some CBD capsules and then hopefully shall get some more sleep....
If I could just turn my body/brain off that would be nice but I guess thats what I am seeking in death..
Kkkkk sighhhs getting up now to start the kettle. I just want a peaceful day today. Chillin at home. Watching whatever but truthfully just wanna sleep for the day. Still tryna just escape my mind and keep it easy going so that I'm not triggered or activated. I need spend some time calm if ima ctb kinda thing.
My daydreams have been of the future involving people in my life but that's dangerous thing bc I don't wanna delve into life again. Maybe im just being stubborn and there is a way for me to live this life I dunno anymore but its stressful to think about...
I dont wanna dip my toes back into life without having materials to die. I owe it to myself to be able to have a chance in both. Soo yee...
But with nitrogen gas(still needa read more about it) the storage is important so that worries me. I'd like to have a method and store it for a bit but with nitrogen I may just needa save my money for it kinda thing?
I dunnooooo ugh I don't wanna get up rn... but needa eat and watch something to put me to sleep.
Anyway sometimes bein a human sucks tbh