Does anyone else here wear a mask for society’s sake? (A metaphorical mask)

[lili]

Hey everyone.

Does anyone else constantly pretend and hide away their feelings for the sake of others? But when you get too close to someone, you accidentally unmask yourself too quickly, and vomit a plethora of emotions upon the person?

I feel as of recently I've fallen in love with one of the people I've had a fling with, which I hate and it's always a bad idea. But there were moments were I felt too comfortable, and I accidentally unmasked myself. For instance, weeks ago I did way too much cocaine with him through the night, and when the sun was coming out, I accidentally told him I contemplated suicide. He then got worried and ordered an Uber for me to get home.

As this last weekend, there was also a moment where I got too personal with him, and he got overwhelmed. I blocked him out of fear that I would hurt him, but I regretted that and tried to unblock him, but he doesn't want anything to do with me now. As usually happens with me.

I'm now really saddened by this, and now fear that I'm going to be unmasked with all the group of friends I'm with, and loose them all as usually happens.

Anyone else experience moments of being unmasked and people get scared? And having to painfully keep on a mask to not loose friends?

Not sure if this all makes sense.

Edit*
I also think I posted this on the wrong thread not sure how to change it now.

 

[Forever Dead]

Hey everyone.

Does anyone else constantly pretend and hide away their feelings for the sake of others? But when you get too close to someone, you accidentally unmask yourself too quickly, and vomit a plethora of emotions upon the person?

I feel as of recently I've fallen in love with one of the people I've had a fling with, which I hate and it's always a bad idea. But there were moments were I felt too comfortable, and I accidentally unmasked myself. For instance, weeks ago I did way too much cocaine with him through the night, and when the sun was coming out, I accidentally told him I contemplated suicide. He then got worried and ordered an Uber for me to get home.

As this last weekend, there was also a moment where I got too personal with him, and he got overwhelmed. I blocked him out of fear that I would hurt him, but I regretted that and tried to unblock him, but he doesn't want anything to do with me now. As usually happens with me.

I'm now really saddened by this, and now fear that I'm going to be unmasked with all the group of friends I'm with, and loose them all as usually happens.

Anyone else experience moments of being unmasked and people get scared? And having to painfully keep on a mask to not loose friends?

Not sure if this all makes sense.

Im a social misfit due to my depression and anxiety. I found trying to fit in and be " normal " to be very exhausting. I just keep to myself now and love being a loner. Life is far more peaceful and simple that way.

 

[Al Cappella]

Of course. I'd say we all do, to one extent or another. Society wouldn't work without it…

 

[NoLightRemains]

I find myself masking less as time goes on. It's too exhausting for me to keep up. I spend far more time alone and mostly get social interaction through the internet. I keep my suicidal ideation on the downlow as people don't want to hear about it.

 

[Sherri]

I wear one on public spaces but I open the mask at tge top of the nose so I'm almost getting fresh cleaning air. The other day I went for my afternoon and the barista had to leave the workplace to get some air, he almost vomit, I can't imagine wearing those for 8-12. They are oxygen deprived that's for sure. Don't even want to think in the long term consequences on this one. I've had 3 vaccines and cases keep on spiking . so why we using the masks anyway? Food for thought.

 

[Niko66]

Yes, I find my "true self" socially unacceptable, shameful and embarrassing. I always try to adjust to what's acceptable but even at that I fail. I am not even sure who I really am anymore. The mental illness has overtaken the person.

 

[Sea Turtle]

Absolutely, it never goes well when someone knows the true extent of my feelings. It's somewhat to protect me as well though, not only others. I appreciate this site for metaphorically being able to "lower" the mask and be more honest.