Does anyone else have zero social life?

[FuCrpsPain]

I could have written this myself.
I've tried not to isolate myself but can't seem to shift it. I would plan something and then at the last minute cancel cause of fear of embarrassment, or people not liking me

For me, at first I isolated myself because my crps pain was so bad I couldn't get out of bed. I'd post on social media that I needed some friends to visit or message me because I was feeling alone. I reached out to the void and found nothing. It sent me into a deep depression that I have yet to escape. I tried to be friendly once I was able to go out in public but that little voice in the back of my head would remind me that when I needed that person the most, they didn't have time so why should I make the time for them... So I started to weed out those that only messaged me when they wanted to talk, turned out it was more ppl than I thought it would be. I had like 3 ppl I knew I could talk to, my husband and 2 others that live outta town. I'd go to church and feel like I was in a sea of strangers, so I stopped going. And then the depression got worse. My pain levels never are under control so when I'd talk to my friends out of town I'd never have anything good to talk about. I felt like a broken record and stopped reaching out. They never asked me what was wrong or tried to call. Maybe they felt like they were giving me space, or maybe they were just glad to not hear the same things over and over again, either way the only one left is my husband. I stopped voicing my pain, unless he caught me crying or not being able to get out of bed he doesn't think I'm hurting. Which hasn't helped our marriage because I feel like a burden to him and keep all this from him because I'm afraid I'll push him away and then I'd be really alone. Its so hard to force myself to go anywhere that I could make friends. I don't think anyone would want to be friends with me, the depression makes me continue to isolate... Feeding this beast that just gets bigger and consumes what's left of me.
But there is a little light... I found this site while trying to find the best way to end myself. Being able to explore my thoughts with ppl that feel the same way has been a great comfort to me. I hope it is for everyone else as well. I still don't want to stay on this earth and until I'm able to leave, I know I'm not alone, y'all are here too.
Sorry so long. I hope you are able to find a little comfort. I'm here if anyone wants to chat.

 

[gottago222]

i want to hug everyone in this thread

 

[xtal666]

I have my boyfriend, one friend who lives far away and my mother (not in the same country).
I don't miss anything social. The bubble is good for me. I live next to the the cliffs and nature and my cats is all I need.
Not really caring if healthy or not. At certain point in your life you just need to build your own comf.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Yes, and it makes my life slightly easier.

 

[Green Destiny]

Right here. I only have 1 friend that I don't see much anymore because of work and other shit. Won't be long before my friend moves away and then i'll be completely alone.

 

[elfin]

i don't. it's partly my fault because i'm very shy and have anxiety which leads me to believe that everyone hates me, but there must actually be something wrong with me because when i do actually try to make friends it never works out.

it's fine though, i've come to terms with it now. it makes things less complicated in the long run.

 

[Ashu]

A lot of us must be virgins, or at least usually celibate. I was very goodlooking when I was young, and people were often shocked when I told them how few lovers I'd had, and how much of my life I'd spent alone.

 

[davidgeorge]

I go out a lot but always by myself. I have a 'social life for the anti-social'

 

[thinkkank]

this board is the only social life i have. i wonder how people in the past in our situation managed to get by without forums

 

[summers]

not even my cousins talk to me since most of them despise me lol

Does being hated count as a social life? If so, your kind of like Donald Trump

 

[Deleted member 8975]

I have never had a social life. Forced into isolation from kindergarten by parents until I was 18…by then it was too late. Psychologically damaged and terrified of others. I tried since then to make friends and they betray me because normal people don't like being friends with "mentally ill" as they've called me and thus distanced from me when they found out, like the only real life girl I was ever in love with and who lived with me for a week

 

[davidgeorge]

I find some parents try to protect their children with the best intentions. However it puts the children at a disadvantage when they get to an age that they no longer live with the parents. I do wonder if the parents really think about this when the children are growing up as it often means their children are too immature and hit drink, drugs, smoking hard and often don't have basic housekeeping skills.

 

[anonienonie]

No social life, both IRL and online. Most people can't deal with my suicidal ideation (understandable) and I don't want to burden others with my issues anyway. Most of my days are literally just sleep/video games/mindless YT or Netflix. 31 years old with zero romantic experience and at this point, is too lazy to even try.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Yea, it's pretty lonely these days. I have one female friend and otherwise I don't really hang out with anyone else. I'm old and tired, and nothing to show for it.

 

[Sleepdrifter]

I have no friends or family. My only contact was an online friend until I screwed things up by ranting drunk. Drinking has been my only friend, except it's not really a friend just a substance. I've been pretending to have imaginary friends but it's not exactly an adult coping mechanism either. This week I'm making an attempt to meet people by going to some mental health-style groups and going to make sure I leave my drunkenness and ego at home.