I am also a victim of psychiatry. They blamed the victim instead to fill your real needs with compassion.
Everything you think you know is a lie. Gaslight. By predators. If they had empathy, they wouldn't see a crying 5 years old child as defective. But when a baby crues he's hungry, scared, lonely, hurt, covered in shit. But as adult we're told to ignore our needs & be productive.
Here's what you really have:
borderline
You don't have a personality disorder, that's bullying pretending to be science to sell you drugs like pushers.
You have trauma, complex PTSD. Life is so unnatural it's like going to war with our needs everyday to be slaves... Awful.
You need self compassion. Read about narcissists, their manipulation techniques (gaslight.,) How to have boundaries (still hard for me, people are so abusive it's the norm. Sick.) Get rid of mean people. Don't blame yourself.
Therapy for borderline doesn't work because psychological violence caused it, when the therapist blames your personality & demand to improve to please him & your abusers... It causes more psychological violence. Taught to blame themselves for the abuse of others instead to degend themselves, shamed into srlf hatred, people do self harm, try to please fir love then are accused of being manipulative... They stop daring to say no, basically let people rape them convinced they have no ftee will... Then are called sluts by psychiatrists... With fancy medical jargon of course. It's fucking disgusting. Put yourself first, love, life is unfair. Make it unfair in your favor. I have a rule to verify before unleashing my SI's rage. It's super vigilant... It orevents me to hurt an innocent. But most of the time people took me for granted & pushed me back my breaking point. I got hit by a car & couldn'T spell my name, people got angry as I struggled with stuttet, calling me uncooperative. If I had screamed in rage, it would have been deserved. Assholes. Care for yourself and tell people to piss off.
contamination ocd
You have an immune system. It's blood cells. Your spine created the red blood cells that carry oxygen, with vitamin B and C to absorb iron. The immune cells are the same. You have bactetia in your gut, when you eat raw veggies they multiply strong & make extra vitamins for you. You gave more bactetia in you than other cells... This is what you are. The first form of life was blue green algae... a collony of bactetia. Everything is a ball of bactetia, some cells got more specialized. A guy got decapitated, his murderer tied the head on his horse's seat. As he rode away in victory, the teeth scratched his leg & bactetia got in. Part of his immune system that kills the invaders. They got in his body and killed him as a revenge beyond the grave. Bacteria are good. Feed them strong and they'll kill tiny invaders or even a giant. Don't worry about getting invaders in, just make sure you have weapons. I take a lot of vitamin C, they're harmed with bazookas. Vitamin c can even protectcafter a nuclear bomb radiated the place. Covid is the scientific name if the common cold. A well rested & nourushed body can handle that. I used too acid chemicals to clean, mixed them. My skin, eyes, insudes burn... my face & eyes peel. I'm in such agony I want to die. I can't remove the chemical, it makes it worse... STOP using poisons... Trust. Your. Body!
The government demanded to be ocd about covid... Sweetheart... It's a scam! They terrorized people to impose dictatorship. Look into china's social credit system. A democracy would never accept that. But tell it's for their own good, that they'll die without a covid pass, and shame people who don't kneel saying they're murderers... And they will demand nazi camps. They did. I was scared of people. Beaten & crippled my legs because I wasn't wearing a mask outside waiting for the bus. A security guard dragged me by the hairs left & right like an enraged dog, while I begged saying I'm handicaped. The police said I deserved it.
They did gain of finction research to make the flu deadlier & spread more... In wuhan. BLamed a food market near it. Made the cure illegal to sell untested vaccines as an emergency... Fired nurses for not getting the vax, when they helped people without it... And forced vaxed people who were sick with covid to work, because they didn't gave enough nurses after firing the wise ones. Kids & athletes dropped dead, even 15 minutes after the vax. They called it coincidence, vaxed younger kids, made double dose boosters... Sounds like genocide to me...
And bipolar 1
I have reactive hypoglycemia. If I eat sugar & grains, I get a manic high then crash into suicidal depression. During my glucose tolerance test (get one) Instead Of between 5 and 8, It went grom 12 to 3... I was shaking so hard. The test became shorter than 5h. When I tried to proling it on my own with my machine... I saw why... I could have died. Vitamin c,B, magnesium helps the adrenals make adrenalin. It tells to releases fuel storages and speed the heart to deluver it quick. That's what anxiety truly is! A superpower boost! Abusers want to make you believe it's a flaw... They don't want you to revolt for a better food quality
I was raised by a narcissist. Told to be 100% positive & devoted by religion too. Even with criminals... No right to defend myself. No right to even exoress my needs or say no. Selfish to eat & sleep. I was bullied, mental, physical, sexual violence everywhere. I had no rights .. so I was abused. Because i let them. At some point my survival instinct revolted. The parts of my personality & Brain that I had repressed took over, switched from one extreme to the other, to literally save my life from dying of a burn out or assault. I only cared about my needs and crave hurting people. I thought I was pisessed by a demon or psychotic. It's a natural part. We have 3 brains. Emotional, rational and primal. We need a balance of cooperation & self care. Otherwise we drop dead of starvation & exhaustion. Many literally do. It's glorified to drink coffee, Be productive, drop dead of a heart attack. Covid deaths are rare compared to those.
It took me years to merge as a inner team... I made comics about my dark side, a black wolf, a woman, her inner child version, and a guy... They look like a happy family. Each have their specialty & help each other. I just don't show my wolf to a crying friend ir my inner child to a pedophile. But all parts are good, even the one that bites. I'm so gentle that people won't back off unless I get enraged. That's on them not you. I have yet to find how to be better respected. People are selfish jerks.
So there is nothing wrong with your brain, sweet fluff. But there is something very wrong with how society expects us to live. Everyone is sick & depressed. Take better self care. Get rid of those labels. You're a life form with needs & limits. And it's damn time that you get respect.
Do self care.
Tell your liver not to harass you until you snap and give you some space to snap if someone else made you snap.
I complain, do dark humor, draw creepy comics
Find ways to cope
Find how to fill your needs & respect your limits. Your hurt emotions are guides not brain defects.
Don't trust psychiatry anymore, it was invented by psychopaths bullies.
*Hugs* good luck leaving the helpless world into the beautiful world of your real inner nature
Trust your body. Ask why with compassion.
And from your choice of avatar, I think you have anemia. Eat steaks, meat... Vitamin b supplements, a deficiency can cause psychosis.
Nutritional deficiencies are really hard core.
COMPLAIN!!! It's a human right. Fuck toxic positivity.
It's like asking a bully to call you names. Just reach for your wishes & open up...
Hi sweet fluff *hugs* lack of vitamin b cause dementia. Also psychosis, skizophrenia. Same cause similar thing.
Burn out from trauma. Look into adrenal fatigue. Vitamin c, b, mangesium, d... But sometimes I has zero will to live & let myself starve... I bought junk to tempt me... This forum saved me. Thank you.
Dear god I really could write books...
