![BrokenPinocchio](/data/avatars/l/94/94557.jpg?1724102701)
BrokenPinocchio
New Member
- Jun 8, 2024
- 2
I'm 29 I would turn 30 in a little less than a year, but I keep thinking/planning I will CTB before then.
Anyone else have this?
Anyone else have this?
I thought about 27 too ironically, I am a musician so sometimes I feel silly I didn't do it then.Hi, similar age here.
First became "seriously" suicidal (after spending most of my life thinking about it daily without intent) in 2021 when we'd both have been 26.
When I was 27 I thought I'd like to die before I turned 28 - pretty stupid given I'm not a musician and don't have any creative achievements at all. Had either June or September in mind - I'd rather die after a warm sunny day than after a cold rainy day, and I have lots of friends and family with birthdays in July and August I don't want to ruin.
When I was 28 I thought I'd kill myself in September for sure, but ended up hospitalised instead.
This year I had a friend's wedding in June to keep me on track then. At times I did think I couldn't bare to keep going and would just kill myself quickly to end things, but I obviously haven't. Right now I am still considering dying in September.
I have a holiday booked for my 30th birthday and I guess staying alive to go on that gives me something to keep going for, though I don't know if I'll make it. After that, I think if I still want to kill myself I'll blow through my life savings on a long holiday and then kill myself late next year, probably October?
Soon but to be fair I've said that for a while. But I'm getting to the end of my rope. Everything seems to constantly be taken from me. Nothing good happens to me. To be honest unless something changes and it does fast it's going to also include my life.I'm 29 I would turn 30 in a little less than a year, but I keep thinking/planning I will CTB before then.
Anyone else have this?
Maybe not formal timeframe but I have an agreement with myself that my expiration date is if/whenever I get to a point where I can't walk anymore at all due to pain. But I'm thinking about preparing sooner, depending on how my next doctor's appt goes. No answers? I kill myself. Answers? Depends how bad they areI'm 29 I would turn 30 in a little less than a year, but I keep thinking/planning I will CTB before then.
Anyone else have this?