ThisIsTheLastNight

ThisIsTheLastNight

Weakness is the root of all evil
Jan 29, 2019
74
Can anyone else not go on living because you despise the person you came from? This also prevents me from having children because I do not want that they would ever be so ashamed as I am for descending from such a person. My father is also scum but she chose him, it's ultimately her fault to have chosen such a loser, two that fit together really well.
 
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JustHeckinKillMe

JustHeckinKillMe

Cool I'm dead
Sep 26, 2019
122
Yes
 
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Sadwind

Sadwind

want to go
Sep 21, 2019
76
Absolutely
 
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fettuccinee

fettuccinee

Member
Oct 3, 2019
54
I loved my father very much, he passed from the same cancer Im having to deal with now.
My mother was a fool who didn't care and still doesnt.
 
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DeathImminent

DeathImminent

Experienced
Aug 9, 2019
203
I loved my father very much, he passed from the same cancer Im having to deal with now.
My mother was a fool who didn't care and still doesnt.
I hope you will beat shit out of that cancer and live happily ever after :hug:
 
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okaoki

okaoki

last
Aug 4, 2018
251
Yes , i hate my father mother and brother ,they're one of the reasons i want CTB
 
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Dwna25

Dwna25

Soon
Sep 30, 2019
7
No I love my mom, she is the only one who make me think twice about CTB....
 
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Chronicillness

Chronicillness

Experienced
Jun 19, 2018
236
I used to filled with hate. All it took was a few major life events to dissolute my ego and birth me anew perspective on people and life in general. I used to be e extremely upset with my mother for having a traumatic birth and imparting that trauma on to me as a child. I used to blame her for nearly everything. I don't care who's fault it was anymore, I just want to help others now, but I am incapable of doing so because of paralyzing disability.
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
Just yep.
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
My mom was a bitter shrew but she was the best between her, my conniving narcissist father and my spiteful slob of a sister. I don't hate any of them... I pity them. I'll gladly end my existence and put a stop to this family's genetic survival.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
My mother CtB a decade ago.

Best day of my life.

It has also taken this long for me to understand and forgive which would not have happened if she did not CtB.
 
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A New Error

A New Error

Member
Oct 5, 2019
24
I hate my parents; my entire family; with the fullest content of my entire heart.
All of them (mostly my parents) are responsible for all of my traumas, my ptsd, my severe depression,my anxieties and everything I have done and dealt with all my life continously up to this day.

My mother died in 2015 due to her cancer, and I, despise my hatred, still felt responsible to be the only one to take care of her.
My father is still alive, but I have barely to none contact to him (finally).
I hope he dies and suffers brutaly until he takes his last breath, I hope he dies alone, and in pain, and he shits himself from being scared to fucks.
I wish him and my left over family the worst.
 
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B

blahblah

Member
Oct 26, 2019
29
Mine were/are useless but I mostly just feel sorry for them.
 
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cowbain

cowbain

teach me empathy
Jul 16, 2019
143
My own mother called me a bitch and told me that the "person" who raped me will always be better than me.
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
I guess a lot or people also feel they wish they had been put up for early adoption- to parents that wanted to have children & had the requisite skills, compassion, & warmth inside their hearts to care for them & want to watch them thrive rather than destroy them - destroy their innocence & potential - for doing literally nothing wrong - except for being born in the first place - for which of course we had no say! It's the ultimate tragedy really for all concerned - especially when there are people out there that would have loved to have children but can't. & others just pop them out-willy-nilly-happily breed away without a moments thought- only to treat their own offspring with the upmost contempt & cruelty — it's very very weird!!
 
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Sweet emotion

Sweet emotion

Enlightened
Sep 14, 2019
1,325
I completely despise my mother. She is incredibly lacking in compassion and is the most dangerous combination of being ignorant, unintelligent and yet really self assured. Her natural response to any situation is confrontation. She makes my situation being ill far harder than it needs to be. There is no solution to people like this, they cannot be retrained; anyone who believes otherwise I think is very naive. If I weren't sick and needed to live at home, I would have disowned her (as I did my dad). She would not be the reason for me to end my life though, as I think the much clearer solution is to just disown (I can't envision many situations where this is not an option).
My mother and I have been through everything together and I loved her with all my heart. Until two weeks ago when she almost crushed my arm, on purpose, and gave me crps in a limb and other places I never had it in. My right side. I can barely type to you right now but I just can't find it in my heart to forgive her. She's hurt me before out of anger. And I can't let it happen anymore. Our situations are very much the same. I need her to live being crps has basically destroyed me as well. There are so many things I can't physically do. I messaged you. I'd like to talk to you. No I'm not going to tell you there is so much to live for. I'm as blunt as they come. But we are suffering from so much of the same problems. When no one understands us, we can be here for each other. I want to forgive her so badly so I don't wind up dying hating her and holding onto a grudge. I worry about her feelings if I die and she knows I hated her. But she doesn't seem to be worrying about my feelings. I've shared them with her and get nothing but silence back. I'm awake and my heart is broken and my stomach is in knots over what happened two weeks ago and she slept like a baby that very night. She got sick if me somewhere along the line. Even though I'm sick I'm a good daughter. I've suffered for so many years so I yell sometimes and cry. Is that reason enough to permanently hurt me? because as you know ow having crps, when something happens to our bodies it's usually permanent. She took away what little I had to do with my time. I love to write and read and talk to people on the internet since I can't be around people in person. And she took that all away. She took advantage that I've lost most of my strength and that if I fight back I'll hurt myself. You know the slightest touch feels like a stab. So imagine someone wrapping both hands around your bone and squeezing like crazy. I thought my arm was going to break. I love her but I hate her. I'll walk around the apartment in tears and she won't say a word. It hurts so much to wear a shirt now. I know you're unable to wear pants. I've always had this condition everywhere from my shoulder blades up. It's the rarest place to have it and none of the doctors have ever heard of anyone like me. So it was very important to me that with the intense suffering I've been in, that I never got it in my limbs. Sometimes I think the whole thing bwas my fault. If I would have just calmed down about what we were arguing about. But it had to due with doctors and my pain management who are making my life hell. My mother alnost did something that could have caused big problems for me with them. She can't seem to mind her own business. Promises are made and never kept. I'm so tired. I've been sedating myself a lot because I'm too depressed to stay awake. I can see her in the living room from my bedroom and she never looks up to see if I'm ok. She's on her tablet all day and it just hurts deep down to know my mother doesn't care about me anymore. She says those are my words not hers. But actions speak louder than words wouldn't you agree? God help me. I don't know what to do. I really need someone to talk to who understands. No one will understand a crps survivor like another crps survivor. Please message me.
 
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