lagoona-a-go-go

lagoona-a-go-go

La tristesse durera toujours.
May 25, 2023
16
Now that I've really started planning things out, and have my method, I realize that I'm somewhat excited in a sense to finally CTB. Earlier today as I thought about which outfit I'd wear and having freshly washed and soft sheets and blankets in my bed while being surrounded by my dolls and plushies as I go brought me some semblance of happiness. Of course I'm still miserable and exhausted, and the thought of the impact my death will have on my close friends and girlfriend makes me feel worse, but the thought of my last moments no longer frightens me. In fact, it not only excites me a bit, but brings me some sort of happiness and peace at the thought, more than anything else I have lined up in my life right now (all of which are surprisingly good things) Anybody else ever feel like this?
 
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piercedheart

piercedheart

Mortician
May 29, 2023
53
I fully understand where you're coming from, like a heavy weight that is finally being unloaded. How will you? and when?
I would love to see your doll collection if I may.
I do wish you the best and that you gain what you seek.
 
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lagoona-a-go-go

lagoona-a-go-go

La tristesse durera toujours.
May 25, 2023
16
I fully understand where you're coming from, like a heavy weight that is finally being unloaded. How will you? and when?
I would love to see your doll collection if I may.
I do wish you the best and that you gain what you seek.
SN for the method, and I'm shooting for January if possible unless something changes that prevents me, makes me want to stay around a bit longer, or I decide to ctb before then.

As for my doll collection, you absolutely can! I'm still unpacking from moving back home (I move out again for a little bit in a couple of weeks) and have some dolls I ordered in the hospital coming soon, so expect some pics in the near future. đź–¤
 
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piercedheart

piercedheart

Mortician
May 29, 2023
53
SN for the method, and I'm shooting for January if possible unless something changes that prevents me, makes me want to stay around a bit longer, or I decide to ctb before then.

As for my doll collection, you absolutely can! I'm still unpacking from moving back home (I move out again for a little bit in a couple of weeks) and have some dolls I ordered in the hospital coming soon, so expect some pics in the near future. đź–¤
Please do keep me up to date. I love to collect plushies myself and always wanted to collect dolls but my mom was always terrified of dolls so i was never allowed. I hope they all find a good home should you ctb. I do hope you keep finding little reasons to stay though and improve.
 
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CTB Dream

CTB Dream

Injury damage disabl hard talk no argu make fun et
Sep 17, 2022
2,613
If have mthod rly exct final get end no sffr no injury damage no any
, nice have plan ctb, hope peace hope hpy
 
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brokeandbroken

Enlightened
Apr 18, 2023
1,047
If I decide to... It won't be necessarily to the CTB that I am excited about but to end my suffering. I guess the only reason I am still around is to see if it ends organically or things signs it will. I feel like I owe it to myself to do some investigation into where things are. If things aren't promising or no signs exist after some exploration then I will. For now I am just taking things one day at a time and trying to run away the pain whenever possible.
 
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Vizzy

Vizzy

DEAD
May 6, 2023
1,869
Now that I've really started planning things out, and have my method, I realize that I'm somewhat excited in a sense to finally CTB. Earlier today as I thought about which outfit I'd wear and having freshly washed and soft sheets and blankets in my bed while being surrounded by my dolls and plushies as I go brought me some semblance of happiness. Of course I'm still miserable and exhausted, and the thought of the impact my death will have on my close friends and girlfriend makes me feel worse, but the thought of my last moments no longer frightens me. In fact, it not only excites me a bit, but brings me some sort of happiness and peace at the thought, more than anything else I have lined up in my life right now (all of which are surprisingly good things) Anybody else ever feel like this?
I am super excited to be free finally!
 
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piercedheart

piercedheart

Mortician
May 29, 2023
53
If have mthod rly exct final get end no sffr no injury damage no any
, nice have plan ctb, hope peace hope hpy
Hope you find what you desire dear.
 
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Challu

Challu

Life boat
Aug 29, 2022
260
when I think about going to be with God in His realm, I feel excited. When I think about my family, I feel melancholy.
 
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blacksand

blacksand

Experienced
May 2, 2023
241
Yes it will be an awfully big adventure. Death is the final frontier for sure.
 
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S

SwimmingBl1mp

Member
May 28, 2023
13
Now that I've really started planning things out, and have my method, I realize that I'm somewhat excited in a sense to finally CTB. Earlier today as I thought about which outfit I'd wear and having freshly washed and soft sheets and blankets in my bed while being surrounded by my dolls and plushies as I go brought me some semblance of happiness. Of course I'm still miserable and exhausted, and the thought of the impact my death will have on my close friends and girlfriend makes me feel worse, but the thought of my last moments no longer frightens me. In fact, it not only excites me a bit, but brings me some sort of happiness and peace at the thought, more than anything else I have lined up in my life right now (all of which are surprisingly good things) Anybody else ever feel like this?
Yes. Several weeks ago when I started seriously planning my ctb I was extremely excited once I saw an opportunity to do it that could actually work out! It didn't, but two days ago I discovered this forum and this got me very excited as I now clearly see how I am going to ctb!
 
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SpiderLink

SpiderLink

they/them
Apr 3, 2023
361
Now that I've really started planning things out, and have my method, I realize that I'm somewhat excited in a sense to finally CTB. Earlier today as I thought about which outfit I'd wear and having freshly washed and soft sheets and blankets in my bed while being surrounded by my dolls and plushies as I go brought me some semblance of happiness. Of course I'm still miserable and exhausted, and the thought of the impact my death will have on my close friends and girlfriend makes me feel worse, but the thought of my last moments no longer frightens me. In fact, it not only excites me a bit, but brings me some sort of happiness and peace at the thought, more than anything else I have lined up in my life right now (all of which are surprisingly good things) Anybody else ever feel like this?
I don't think "excited" would be the term I'd use for me personally, I'm more so calm.
 
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ladylord

ladylord

Member
May 29, 2023
5
I admire you all for your braveness,
But for me, I think I'm still hesitant about CTB.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,508
I actually don't know whether I should be excited about it or not, My plan is ready, everything would be ready to go ahead. I have no excitement at all for anything atm.
 
DeathSleep

DeathSleep

Unstable Potato
May 25, 2023
239
I feel excitement and relief when I think about dying. I just feel a lot of anxiety when I think about living.
 
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That's Not Me

That's Not Me

A cork on the ocean floating over the raging sea
Sep 14, 2022
108
I felt a bit like that when I started last year, but I don't feel that way anymore. Thinking about the consequences of living is agonizing. Thinking about the consequences of dying is only slightly less agonizing, but not exciting.
 
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S

Sparx

Specialist
Jan 4, 2023
324
It's more relief than anything. It's not that I really want to die, I just want my suffering to end. But death is the only way to end it sadly.
 
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G

Goodgirlryeo101

Wizard
May 27, 2023
661
Tbh I do have a sense of relief now since I know my d day… It has been a very rough couple of months for me personally and I can't wait till I complete my ctb successfully and be at eternal peace….. it's so weird because the last time I tried to ctb I didn't plan that much but I knew a week before I did and then I just did it and tbh honestly my only regret was not planning carefully and I ended up in the hospital with the most physical pain that I have ever experienced. However, having said that I would still choose the same option of completing ctb than surviving if I had a choice… I wish I knew about SN then because it was easier to get it then….. Seeing the success rate with SN I can only get jealous with those who have completed ctb with SN
 
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telro

telro

I'm just tired
May 21, 2023
57
I would say yes because I am excited to finally die, but the thought of CTB always makes me dissociate for some stupid reason, which isn't fun. I wish my brain didn't do that
 

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