Does anyone else feel that if only they had done one or two things differently, life would be completely different?

[Beachedwhale]

Maybe it was dropping out of uni, or leaving a relationship, or lifting weights, or taking psychedelics for healing purposes, or facing your repressed childhood for an hour, or looking something up on the internet, or whatever else. Maybe you wanted to, but you were too afraid for whatever reason, and just never got round to doing the simplest, most basic of things that are now more difficult or impossible to do.

All I can think of is why why why? Why didn't I do X, Y, Z for all those years, despite wanting to? My confidence would've skyrocketed and I would've been able to take the opportunity I was too afraid of taking. Now that opportunity is gone forever.

It's too absurd to fathom. Just because I didn't do X, Y, Z, my life turned to shit. Other people in similar situations did do X and Y, and turned their lives around. I was one of those who didn't, and is on the brink of suicide. What a shame.

 

[Perpetually99]

There have been a dozen instances in my life wherein one slight zig when I should've zagged completely altered the trajectory of the rest of my life. I'm talking about every single aspect of my life. And this regret haunts me to this day and is a big impetus for me to CTB. Regret and indecision are silent killers...

 

[Lupgevif]

No. I'd still be stuck in this fucked mind, in this fucked up body and in this fucked up world.

 

[HenryHobkins]

not for me, i made a tons and tons of bad mistakes that put me where i am now

 

[ShutUpEli]

Honestly it's a nice thought, to dream that so much went wrong all from a small decision we made, but I doubt that life would be much different had I done everything the opposite. The world and all it's chaos would still exist, I'd just be in a different part of the machine. You have to remember when living in a world like this, free will is but an idea.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Nah. I'm just genetic trash.

 

[-Tandem-]

I definitely think things would be different. I'm positive I would still be depressed and angry but I think there's a possibility that I wouldn't want to die. Maybe?

 

[Tintypographer]

I wish I had known about asperger's as a kid and that I was different. Then I wish that I had not gotten married. Those two things would have left me completely different. I was never depressed at all until I got married and I would have understood myself and my relationships better growing up if I had known I was different. Also, this only happened once but it's a suggestion to all of you: if you have stock options that vest and they have a profit, sell it all immediately for whatever profit you can get and don't look back. It's far better to take a profit and know you missed out on some gains than to watch options evaporate as the company slides into oblivion. Not a deal breaker for me and it only happened once but it's important.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

I don't really believe in free will. I think it's very, very limited. Too many things are beyond our control - from the place and time of birth, our parents, genetics, physical and mental health and so on and so on.
It's pointless to beat yourself up over this, there's too much randomness and chaos involved.

 

[filtfarfar]

There have been a dozen instances in my life wherein one slight zig when I should've zagged completely altered the trajectory of the rest of my life. I'm talking about every single aspect of my life. And this regret haunts me to this day and is a big impetus for me to CTB. Regret and indecision are silent killers...

I hear you bro, there are a couple of things that could have prevented the disaster, which is now my life. I fucking haunts me and drives me mad every single day. The regret will kill me eventually I'm sure.

 

[Good4Nothing]

Yah. If my father hadn't been a physically abusive alcoholic asshole, and if my step-dad hadn't been an emotionally and psychologically abusive tyrant, I might have turned out okay.
But I didn't have a say in the matter, did I?

 

[killedbypsychiatry]

Yes. Have I've not been taken with stupid psychiatrists, my life would probably be amazing

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, my life could've be much better if I hadn't made certain decisions and mistakes but, unfortunately, I would still be suicidal because of my bipolar disorder and the fact that I find this world pointless and don't want to get any older.

 

[motel rooms]

Yes. If I had killed myself, I'd be dead.

 

[Superdeterminist]

There's no question that things would be different had I done differently, we are slaves to causality after all. However:

1. COULD things actually have gone differently? We get the sense of alternative possibilities, but that doesn't mean those possibilities were real. This come down to physics, and this question is unanswered.

2. Since life is stupidly complex, the outcome of any imagined action is impossible to predict fully.

 

[In2TheVoid]

In my case it comes down to one decision that I made in about 2 seconds, it ruined a beautiful life

 

[TheGreatEscape]

Yes. This should have been obvious when I was younger but I was very stupid. It has since become so clear to me how much of life is action followed by consequences (either good or bad).

 

[LiesAndLigatures]

If I would have just kept my bullshit teenage problems to myself, I probably wouldn't be severely suicidal at 24. But, I wanted to feel better, so I agreed to therapy. From there, it went downhill FAST. Cops and "hospital" prisons. All because I asked for help.

 

[ClownMe]

I dont think there's really anything else i could have changed in my life that would have led to me enjoying life. Then again im only 20 so im still fairly young.

 

[Desi]

No, no. Not in my case, at least.

 

[FuneralCry]

My suffering is based on things that are completely out of my control. I couldn't have done anything differently. I think i'm doomed. My body and mind are the enemy.

 

[sm20]

Maybe it was dropping out of uni, or leaving a relationship, or lifting weights, or taking psychedelics for healing purposes, or facing your repressed childhood for an hour, or looking something up on the internet, or whatever else. Maybe you wanted to, but you were too afraid for whatever reason, and just never got round to doing the simplest, most basic of things that are now more difficult or impossible to do.

All I can think of is why why why? Why didn't I do X, Y, Z for all those years, despite wanting to? My confidence would've skyrocketed and I would've been able to take the opportunity I was too afraid of taking. Now that opportunity is gone forever.

It's too absurd to fathom. Just because I didn't do X, Y, Z, my life turned to shit. Other people in similar situations did do X and Y, and turned their lives around. I was one of those who didn't, and is on the brink of suicide. What a shame.

I just wish I made my decisions not assuming I'd kill myself within a year so it wouldn't matter what I did, turns out killing yourself is hard and now my health is shit too.

 

[landojustwannactb]

I couldve done a couple of things differently to not fuck up my health but meh i cant go out with regrets. I enjoyed them during that time so i must take full responsibility. I do wish i couldve treated some of my exes who really chose me a lil better. But hey it is what it is

 

[RedHarlequin]

For me it is the other way round, I feel like I've done everything and no matter what I do the depression is still there. I tried all treatments possible, I have the "perfect" life, damn, I even studied medicine in hope I could help myself but nothing was enough. Nothing is enough. Now I just feel trapped in existence, because there is nothing else to do and nobody that could help me. It is just me and this hell.

 

[Pharmaruined]

As fucked up as it is, my life has taken dramatic wrong turns whenever I try to help someone or do the right thing .

When I was working with Google and Yahoo everybody was using their syndicated search feeds to fraud the shit out of them with fake traffic.. I never did it because I knew it wasn't right . They ended up fucking me anyway as I got thrown in with the frauds.. charged me back 100k in legit traffic.. meanwhile my crooked peers made millions.. one guy even owns a significant stake in the clippers bb team.. all from fraudulent clicks for a few years..

When we built ad software to show search results in a side bar everyone else was putting users thru pop-up hell..they made millions.. but no, I wanted to keep the product quality and just show a little side frame with relative alternative results. We barely made a living..

. when we built software to help find missing children. Couldn't get one major player to back it . Google , Yahoo, eBay etc.. all said it was too depressing to show pics of missing kids.. they could have helped so many.. I had the full backing of the national center for missing and exploited children .. u know John Walsh.. but none of the major internet players wanted to touch it.. costs me a fortune to put it together..

i can go on and on.. all I know is if I lived my life as an asshole I would be in alot better shape.. how fucked up is that?

 

[MyOwnWorstEnemy]

Maybe it was dropping out of uni, or leaving a relationship, or lifting weights, or taking psychedelics for healing purposes, or facing your repressed childhood for an hour, or looking something up on the internet, or whatever else. Maybe you wanted to, but you were too afraid for whatever reason, and just never got round to doing the simplest, most basic of things that are now more difficult or impossible to do.

All I can think of is why why why? Why didn't I do X, Y, Z for all those years, despite wanting to? My confidence would've skyrocketed and I would've been able to take the opportunity I was too afraid of taking. Now that opportunity is gone forever.

It's too absurd to fathom. Just because I didn't do X, Y, Z, my life turned to shit. Other people in similar situations did do X and Y, and turned their lives around. I was one of those who didn't, and is on the brink of suicide. What a shame.

No, I've tried and tried and only ever regretted bothering because it's only brought me misery after a short temporary relief.

 

[Beachedwhale]

As fucked up as it is, my life has taken dramatic wrong turns whenever I try to help someone or do the right thing .

When I was working with Google and Yahoo everybody was using their syndicated search feeds to fraud the shit out of them with fake traffic.. I never did it because I knew it wasn't right . They ended up fucking me anyway as I got thrown in with the frauds.. charged me back 100k in legit traffic.. meanwhile my crooked peers made millions.. one guy even owns a significant stake in the clippers bb team.. all from fraudulent clicks for a few years..

When we built ad software to show search results in a side bar everyone else was putting users thru pop-up hell..they made millions.. but no, I wanted to keep the product quality and just show a little side frame with relative alternative results. We barely made a living..

. when we built software to help find missing children. Couldn't get one major player to back it . Google , Yahoo, eBay etc.. all said it was too depressing to show pics of missing kids.. they could have helped so many.. I had the full backing of the national center for missing and exploited children .. u know John Walsh.. but none of the major internet players wanted to touch it.. costs me a fortune to put it together..

i can go on and on.. all I know is if I lived my life as an asshole I would be in alot better shape.. how fucked up is that?

Wow that's insane. I'm so sorry you missed out on those opportunities. And I feel very similarly. You have to be a narcissistic cunt in order to thrive in society. This is the only thing that really matters. Everything else is bullshit.
I realised this way too late and I was just like you. I was the good boy but it turns out that just.meant being a doormat for abuse. Then you go through life continuing to be abused and used and willingly sacrificing yourself and you don't even realise how much it has fucked you up because its all you've ever known and you're brainwashed to think it's your fault and you repress the trauma and repress your desires and some of the narcissistic cunts are very good at pretending to care.


I feel like if I had taken shrooms many years ago I would've seen this but the narcissistic cunts made that illegal and made it seem scary.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Damn, this hits hard. Yeah, there is at least one decision I made, pretty recently too, that would have made things totally different. But, too late now....

 

[Pharmaruined]

Wow that's insane. I'm so sorry you missed out on those opportunities. And I feel very similarly. You have to be a narcissistic cunt in order to thrive in society. This is the only thing that really matters. Everything else is bullshit.
I realised this way too late and I was just like you. I was the good boy but it turns out that just.meant being a doormat for abuse. Then you go through life continuing to be abused and used and willingly sacrificing yourself and you don't even realise how much it has fucked you up because its all you've ever known and you're brainwashed to think it's your fault and you repress the trauma and repress your desires and some of the narcissistic cunts are very good at pretending to care.


I feel like if I had taken shrooms many years ago I would've seen this but the narcissistic cunts made that illegal and made it seem scary.

This world is just a wicked wicked game.. I know the religious say it's all a test but for God's sake stop all already.. I'm sitting here with a broken endocrine system from big pharma.. spent my entire life savings looking for a cure.. fucked in business left and right.. I'm so over it.

 

[Emilia1012]

Maybe it was dropping out of uni, or leaving a relationship, or lifting weights, or taking psychedelics for healing purposes, or facing your repressed childhood for an hour, or looking something up on the internet, or whatever else. Maybe you wanted to, but you were too afraid for whatever reason, and just never got round to doing the simplest, most basic of things that are now more difficult or impossible to do.

All I can think of is why why why? Why didn't I do X, Y, Z for all those years, despite wanting to? My confidence would've skyrocketed and I would've been able to take the opportunity I was too afraid of taking. Now that opportunity is gone forever.

It's too absurd to fathom. Just because I didn't do X, Y, Z, my life turned to shit. Other people in similar situations did do X and Y, and turned their lives around. I was one of those who didn't, and is on the brink of suicide. What a shame.

Yes ,but you were a different person then, didn't know the things you know now, so It wasn't your fault.

Yes ,but you were a different person then, didn't know the things you know now, so It wasn't your fault.

And you can ALWAYS have a new beginning and control your present. What you can't do is going back in time-so please stop thinking about it