Does anyone else feel cringe for being suicidal?

[InezSerrano]

I feel like some cringe edgy middle schooler or something, LOL. I remember talking to someone in middle school about the myth of Sisyphus and how I was suicidal, but I wasn't like all the other edgy suicidal people, because I was actually reading the existenialist philosophy to back up the decision, and then I watch The Sopranos and there is an episode where the kid is just like me, LOL. Like I was a literal meme, and still am. IDK, IDK what I'm saying, just I feel bad and I hate myself so I guess I find any excuse for that, even if it means hating myself for being suicidal, even when I should just be sympathetic,

Can anyone else relate to this? I wonder why we see things like mental illness, self harm, suicide as cringey and childish. Or is it just me, does anyone else experience this?

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I feel imposter syndrome somewhat, mainly because I don't want to die, I'm not depressed and I love life and find a lot of meaning to life and beauty in the world around me, unlike some of the people on here who see life as pointless - I just can't live with this chronic pain anymore

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I would feel cringe if someone told me in private they aren't at least some what suicidal

I have a friend that is very outgoing and fun to be around. The guy doesn't have a perfect life but he pulls women easily , can hold a job, etc. one night I learned he also too at least considered CTB and basically I had to talk him out of it, he was going for it. From my memory I was reluctant to talk him out of it - I did tell him out of it but I did so half heartedly because I relate too much to his position

I respect him more now knowing that we can discuss the world being screwed up

 

[CommitSudoku]

I've never thought of it as anything other than painful. But media/entertainment can negatively portray it sometimes I think, and often it gets portrayed more as effecting young adults in aforementioned media so that could be part of it. I feel like more YA tv shows would bring it up than adult ones, then again I don't watch anything anymore to really know. Knowing how debilitating mental illness along with everything else you mentioned can be, I could never see it that way myself (cringey/childish), but I certainly understand using it as just another excuse to hate yourself. Do that enough to know we can use anything against ourselves.

 

[olkf]

No I don't like what's associated with it. I dislike nihilism

 

[InezSerrano]

No I don't like what's associated with it. I dislike nihilism

What is your ideology?

 

[inanimate]

i used to. I know what you mean. I feel pathetic sometimes for wanting to die so badly and for opining over death in my head and pitying myself constantly. but the pain itself is way worse.

 

[Bone]

I do not think being suicidal is cringe at all. If suicidal ideas and feelings are just dismissed as that, I would say that does more harm than good. I can see where you're coming from, somewhat-I guess the angsty things people can say sometimes on this site or on Reddit, etc., can be a bit cringey; antinatalism kind of goes into that territory sometimes, as well as some of the overtly nihilist sophmoric mumbo jumbo where people jerk themselves off over their rhetoric without really saying a whole lot. There are numerous posts on here like that, but I think it comes with the territory. Certain types of edgelord promortalist "deep" statements are (hopefully) an expression of difficult thoughts or feelings, and I think it's good to vocalize them, even if just on this forum. Some people tend to get stuck in thought loops it seems when it comes to these lines of thinking.

However, overall, I think most of us here "mean it" and are really struggling with some serious shit that society doesn't usually have answers for. Especially once these issues, thoughts, etc. become chronic or permanent, then there sure as hell is nothing cringe about it. Many things I've read on this site are just sad; there are a whole hell of a lot of people suffering on a lot of different levels; nothing cringe about lifelong trauma or its associated effects, for example. There is a big difference between feeling some existentialist dread vs. dealing with years, decades of a severe mental illness. I have seen or heard by this point thousands of people's stories (between shit online and in person), and at some point, I realized the main cringey stuff I see is on my IG feed or on the billionth pointless Facebook thread or some asinine TikTok vid, distracting ourselves with plastic versions of reality that are designed to be addicting while we give all our data over to these already massive companies as they turn the knobs on us influencing our behavior...the cringe is not in hearing people's stories of suffering and struggle, nor in people expressing those feelings.

 

[Frog]

I hate the word "cringe". Yeah, when I try to explain what I'm going through with my mental illness and my suicidal thoughts, I always end up feeling humiliated and dismissed by my friends. I'm very used to that and can only self-isolate, which weakens friendships more. I don't think they really care. They just want entertainment that I can't fucking provide right now or ever again.

So, yeah. Cringe. Don't worry about it, though. The numbness will set in eventually.

 

[ennuied]

Funny you should mention that--the episodes (one in particular) dealing with A.J.'s suicidal thoughts always stuck with me for some reason. I laughed at loud when he mispronounced Nietzsche and started talking about the emptiness of life--it's totally something I would've done as a young teenager if I was a bit bolder and wasn't as well acquainted with philosophy. But I certainly empathize with the feeling of it being "cringe". I've regressed a lot mentally due to my depression and have found myself now watching Beavis and Butt-Head and listening to Nirvana (kind of characteristic of A.J.), totally different from when I was a young teenager and into documentaries and jazz music. It's a more visceral kind of entertainment I guess. That Sopranos episode reminded me of mall goths, the kind of wear-it-on-your-sleave types (not to disparage the goths, their fashion is impeccable). It could be a societal issue, that suicide and sadness (especially in young adults) are viewed as a kind of melodramatic frivolity and are associated with immature children and winey teens who flippantly start talking about killing themselves. There simply aren't many normalized portrayals of suicide that regard it as a deeply serious and real problem, so the media depictions we see basically reduce depression and suicidality to "melodramatic brats acting out of impulse".

It's really a shame the way it's been depicted, but trust that it is objectively not cringe that you feel this way (as silly as a sentence as that sounds haha).