Does anyone else feel a suicide note is pointless?

[Embers]

Firstly, I'm absolutely not judging anyone for their preferences, whether you like the idea of a note or not it's totally cool and I am not judging.
I'm purely curious, and wonder whether anyone else feels leaving a note is pointless?
For me, I feel like nothing I could ever say in a note would help, or be of any use, and therefore I don't really see the point of leaving a note/letter.

wondered what you guys thought? What are your reasons for / against leaving a note/letter?

:)

 

[WornOutLife]

You have an interesting point there.
No matter how beautifully-written and awe-inspiring your notes are, you'll family and friends will grieve for you anyway.

However, I think they're necessary because they're your last words.
I mean, I wouldn't want my dad to remember the last thing I said such as "I love pizza". I want him to read my note/letter explaining to him why I ctb and the reason why I'm so happy with the decision of leaving this world.

I guess notes help me to give life a better closure. I even wrote one to my dog lol.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

I wrote two but I think they're both pointless as they won't accomplish anything useful so I don't think I'll send them. Writing them for my own sake was enough I think.

 

[Carrotcake]

I think a note is practical in the sense that it rules your death as a suicide so no resources are spent on any type of investigation from authorities.

Then I think a note can never make up for the grief of your loved ones, but it can clear things up. Leave as little doubt as possible. The note is not for your sake, but for theirs. You give them something to hold onto, something tangible, which I think can help in a grieving process.

 

[lunargreenx]

Of course. Who would I leave it to?

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

If I leave a letter it will be short and not focused on me. My act is what I have to say about the reasons. Besides, they already know. Now it's about what I leave behind.

Absolve everyone from guilt, wish them the happiest life and tell them I love them. A message of love is the best thing I have to offer to try to make up for their loss.

A rebellion over my own rebellion. Fuck this hate. I'm tired of my hate. Won't waste a word on it.

 

[Odwin]

I don't even know what to write. I wouldn't be sorry. Should I explain myself? I don't really think they would understand

 

[NoSurprises]

really? i'm pretty sure that your family would feel better with a simple: "i love you all, i m sorry its not your fault"

 

[Odwin]

really? i'm pretty sure that your family would feel better with a simple: "i love you all, i m sorry its not your fault"

I don't really like my family, so. Well that's not right either. I am just indifferent to them

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

really? i'm pretty sure that your family would feel better with a simple: "i love you all, i m sorry its not your fault"

Maybe it's about me having no illusion that anything can make them feel better. So I may as well try to be kind. For a change.

 

[lofticries]

No. And I say this as a person who isn't planning on leaving one except with instructions on what to do with my body and such.

Suicide notes are not only for the family/friends but the person who is ctb as well. Said person might want to get something off their chest or at least feel like their note might help bring their loved ones closure. SI is tough enough to beat on its own, you don't want it coupled with a feeling of unfinished business as well.

 

[Avyn]

It depends on the situation and how you feel about it. If you want (for yourself) to write a note to them so you feel better about it when you die, then I dont think its a bad idea. I was thinking about this myself - should I write a note to my family if I do it? Do i tell them positive things or negative things about how theyre assholes for being abusive? But I dont think thats right, that wouldnt change them anyway

 

[Nigh]

I personally may not leave a suicide note, as my family know I have been suicidal in the past, so it wouldn't be necessary to help them understand my decision. However, I have seen parents being left distraught because they had no idea their child was suicidal, and have so many unanswered questions - as no note was left. I have to say that in my past suicide attempt I did leave a note, and it gave my family a greater insight into my problems. They were very empathetic. However, this didn't prevent them from thinking that one day I would overcome. Eventhough, in my letter I specifically said that, " I didn't have the energy or know how to continue in this journey called life."

 

[AnnonyBox]

I don't think anyone will understand, even if I leave one, and I've heard that police will sometimes seize them as 'evidence' and not return them.

 

[Sensei]

A majority of all people who commit suicide seem to think so because they don't leave a suicide note behind.

 

[DarkWolf]

No point for me. Don't listen to me alive not gonna listen to a piece of paper when I'm dead.

 

[GarageKarate07]

Actually im having this problem just now. How odd. My answer will seem stupid but what-evs. I think both points are validated. There is no reason or need to leave a note or letter at all. There is also many reasons that you could/should leave a note. You can give reason and possibly closure to people who you either love or hate. You can take one final stab at someone. I'm done with all my letters except for my mother. I blame her for not being there for me and letting my early abuse take place while she did nothing for years. It messed me up for life. It never healed. I wrote my 2 oldest siblings letters and asked them to take care of a few things for me if they can. I want to not leave my mother a note at all. I want her to know she wasn't worth it to me. Now I love my mom and she loves me but that BS and pain are still there. She already lost one child 10 years ago so she will be in shame for losing another. No parent should have to bury a child. I had to bury one myself. I also wanted to write a note and maybe not "blame" her but tell her how bad her actions messed me up. I just had a birthday as her first born child and she did not even call. How the hell do you forget the first person to come out of your fucking vagina? Hello! McFly!! So im kinda stuck. Do I give her nothing? Do I tell her everything and place the blame firmly where it belongs? Do I just explain and get it over with? I dont mean to extend this into someone else's thread but that's where I'm at. I have done everything else in preparation. I have maybe 3 things left and that depends on the speed of state paperwork arriving in the mail. After that I'm drinking and "praying" and I'll be fucking done.

 

[loopylou]

I won't be writing one. They don't give a shit what I have to say alive so why would I think they would care after? And it gets read out at a coroners inquest. No ta!

 

[lonerclown666]

yes because people will not change their ways just because you will die

 

[it's_all_a_game]

I'm writing not a note, but a essay. It's to try to make my death mean something.

 

[placeholder]

No. It is not. Suicide note can function as a telling why people kill themself. and some other kind of explanation why people who love the dead people or know the dead people should not think that it is their fault. Some people tend to think what if they did something or not did something he would not kill himself. Especially it hurts who care about the dead people or those who care about other while other people may not be affected so people can use a suicide note to alleviate such a harm to those people.

 

[Embers]

Thank you all for your responses!
I hadn't considered the fact that a note could be useful to help absolve others of any blame.

for me, there is no blame and I would hate anyone to feel there was blame or something they could have done better; I'd not considered a note could potentially prevent others from having the ' what did I do' questions.

I had been against leaving a note because I didn't think anything I could possibly say would make anyone feel any better about the situation. But a note CAN let others know that it's not their fault, and I hadn't considered this.

thank you all!!

 

[WatermelonMel]

Notes are pointless IMO, if your family and friends really love you they'll draw their own good conclusions and forgive you.

Personally I'm really bad with literature and cannot make a note worthy enough to represent my last words, so I'm just not gonna do it.

 

[MaybeSoon]

Not at all for me.. it will be pointless in the fact that no matter how much I'll explain my pain it wont be understood but they will at least know how much I love them, which is a lot.

 

[Breakout92]

I read a lot of accounts from people who've had someone they know ctb., I've never heard of someone who was unhappy to receive a note, only the opposite where someone wishes they had received one when they didn't. So I'm going to leave one anyway. Even if it doesn't really help anyone.

I've already written one before, and it actually helped me a lot. just writing it out, all the reasons I have to ctb, made me feel a lot better. Not better enough to not attempt, but better enough to get through the week between writing it and making the attempt. It's really cathartic and i like to write anyway, so it's nice for me.

 

[I want to end it]

I won't write one. Mainly because I can't be bothered.

 

[Embers]

Actually im having this problem just now. How odd. My answer will seem stupid but what-evs. I think both points are validated. There is no reason or need to leave a note or letter at all. There is also many reasons that you could/should leave a note. You can give reason and possibly closure to people who you either love or hate. You can take one final stab at someone. I'm done with all my letters except for my mother. I blame her for not being there for me and letting my early abuse take place while she did nothing for years. It messed me up for life. It never healed. I wrote my 2 oldest siblings letters and asked them to take care of a few things for me if they can. I want to not leave my mother a note at all. I want her to know she wasn't worth it to me. Now I love my mom and she loves me but that BS and pain are still there. She already lost one child 10 years ago so she will be in shame for losing another. No parent should have to bury a child. I had to bury one myself. I also wanted to write a note and maybe not "blame" her but tell her how bad her actions messed me up. I just had a birthday as her first born child and she did not even call. How the hell do you forget the first person to come out of your fucking vagina? Hello! McFly!! So im kinda stuck. Do I give her nothing? Do I tell her everything and place the blame firmly where it belongs? Do I just explain and get it over with? I dont mean to extend this into someone else's thread but that's where I'm at. I have done everything else in preparation. I have maybe 3 things left and that depends on the speed of state paperwork arriving in the mail. After that I'm drinking and "praying" and I'll be fucking done.

This sounds so difficult, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this :(

I don't think anyone of us could suggest which action you should do re writing or not writing a note. I think that whatever feels right for you is what you should do. If you're unsure, could you maybe try writing a note and then deciding? If you don't want to use it, burn it. If you find it useful to have written it, you have the option to use it.
Sending gentle hugs!

I read a lot of accounts from people who've had someone they know ctb., I've never heard of someone who was unhappy to receive a note, only the opposite where someone wishes they had received one when they didn't. So I'm going to leave one anyway. Even if it doesn't really help anyone.

I've already written one before, and it actually helped me a lot. just writing it out, all the reasons I have to ctb, made me feel a lot better. Not better enough to not attempt, but better enough to get through the week between writing it and making the attempt. It's really cathartic and i like to write anyway, so it's nice for me.

I also find writing really cathartic, weirdly I've never tried writing a S note, but for the catharsis itself I think I'll give it a go! Thanks for sharing this viewpoint :)

 

[NormaJeane]

Firstly, I'm absolutely not judging anyone for their preferences, whether you like the idea of a note or not it's totally cool and I am not judging.
I'm purely curious, and wonder whether anyone else feels leaving a note is pointless?
For me, I feel like nothing I could ever say in a note would help, or be of any use, and therefore I don't really see the point of leaving a note/letter.

wondered what you guys thought? What are your reasons for / against leaving a note/letter?

:)

It depends on your situation, the people in your life, if they will be hurt if you do not leave a note. But everybody should write a lifetestament, that if somebody will find you before you are dead, you do not want them to revive you so that you will lie in the hospital paralyzed.

 

[Whole-Ad]

For my first attempt I left no note and had never even expressed any intent or given any signs about wanting to ctb. Obviously it failed, and I saw how confused and upset my family was. They had no idea and it broke me realising that they would've had absolutely no answer as to why. That I would not have had the chance to at least explain to the best of my ability. For me, it doesn't matter whether they understand or not, it's just so that they don't blame themselves and they realise that there was nothing that they could've done anyways. After all, I did not ask to be born.

 

[DunnoWhyButYeah]

I didn't left any notes when I had my first suicide attempt. And I'm not going to write those when I'm doing it next time. I don't want and don't t feel like I need that... And my closest people know reason why I do that.