Discussion Does anyone back out of ctb despite not having a reason to?

[przeciwwymiotne]

I'm miserable and a bad person. I'll never get better because I don't believe it's possible and I don't want to bother. Everywhere I go I get reminded that it's too late for me, I'm 100% set on dying. But somehow when I'm about to do it I start feeling so lonely and scared. I say to myself that it'll get better, my life will surely change with no effort being put in. I get thoughts of my childhood and happy memories and think, that I can feel like that again. It's bullshit. Nothing will happen if I don't change and I won't.
I almost feel like if I could only hug someone before doing it I would actually be able to go through with it. I don't want to live anymore. I have ruined my life.

 

[Gloom]

I change my mind in the last second every time. maybe the more you try to ctb the more comfortable you'll get with it and finally do it. It might be something that takes practise.

 

[przeciwwymiotne]

I change my mind in the last second every time. maybe the more you try to ctb the more comfortable you'll get with it and finally do it. It might be something that takes practise.

I hope so

I change my mind in the last second every time. maybe the more you try to ctb the more comfortable you'll get with it and finally do it. It might be something that takes practise.

I back out of hanging, maybe with SN it won't be so easy. Although I could still call emergency services out of fear

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never really attempted at all personally. I don't have any reasons to still be here, other than the fact that I fear the method going wrong and that I have limited access to methods. There is nothing that could ever make me want to live and there is absolutely nothing here for me in this world. Existence is so cruel and meaningless and it hurts me being alive.

Of course suicide can be very difficult as even know we want to die, we are programmed to survive and I think that it is why many people back out from attempting. It really should be easier to leave this world and I envy those who are gone as they never have to endure another day. I hope that you find freedom from your suffering.