Discussion Does anyone actually have someone to vent to/talk to?

[LucifersIntrovert]

Be honest do you actually have someone to vent to that won't instantly unfriend and throw you into an abyss. Or do you have someone that would actually take you seriously? I've put thought into the subject and for me u can't vent to my therapists because the last 3 I had have either threatened me with cops or put me in rehab/the ward. Then I'd rather not bother people I know because at the end of the day people have their own lives, they don't need to know why I'm suicidal and what I intend to do, they have their own things to worry about so theirs no need to stress them out anymore plus everyone that I'm close with just brushes me off and pushes me away so it'll hurt less if I end up doing it, stated from friends and some of my family that have known about the hospitalizations so no one takes me seriously but it is what it is i guess… idk that's just my opinion and view on the subject

 

[AshClouds]

No, I don't really socialize on my free time and even back in the day when I did, I wouldn't tell anyone.
I have to hide my depression because theres a stigma attached to it, and people won't even thing I'm being serious.
Definitely won't talk about suicide for all the obvious reasons

 

[EyesOfNight]

There is currently 0 friends/family in my life and even if there were I was never taught how to communicate properly so venting wouldn't give me any relief. My therapist quit on my because she can't handle my suicidality (her words not mine) and my psychiatrist is a joke. That about sums it up.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

no i do not, but i never have :p too bad that doesn't make it feel okay, lol. i don't think i'll ever be alright w not having a support system, or even just 1 person who really got it & cared. will def die bitter asf abt it, lmao.

 

[barkbark]

personally, i have a few really strong good friends and they're part of what keeps me from ctbing especially recently. i regularly vent to them but tbh when it comes to ctb they never really get anything i mean. like, obviously they're all very against me ctbing which is reasonable but they IMMEDIATELY reject any single thing i try to say regarding ctb, whether i'm very suicidal and impulsive in that moment or very cool headed. i do get it though, i mean in their shoes if you've never really gotten this depressed i would understand why you might be unnerved and shut it down instantly because it's confusing, difficult, scary to talk about and you god forbid don't want to accidentally validate your friends strong desire to kill herself. in their shoes i would do the same

i will say, besides venting about wanting to ctb or anything in the topic of ctb, they help me stay as sane as i can be in spite of everything. they also do claim im not a burden in spite of my feelings of being one, so.

 

[Kalista]

Yes and no. Since I meet people from here, they all have their own problems they're dealing with. So the amount of energy they can share is very limited and because of that, it becomes difficult for me to even try and vent to them. Eventually some stops responding. At least all of the ones I've met.

Besides online people, I have no one to talk to about it in person. They immediately reject my explanations and some would also try or will call the cops on me. It's the only thing they know to do and it's very fucking annoying. I've lost everyone close to me because of it. Either I had to cut them off or they've left me themselves because they don't want to be around a person who's about to kill himself and other reasons.

Never vent about suicide to therapists and psychiatrists It's their job to stop suicidal thoughts and their protocol is to send you to the hospital. Anything suicide-related is bad news if you just want to vent or talk about it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

I got this site to vent on

 

[mortuarymary]

I have a few on messenger etc.

 

[cold_severance]

no, no one cares or believes me anyway, doenst matter if its irrelevant things or heavy stuff. i think ive collected all the defense mechanisms from their reactions and its kinda funny to see what itll be next time.

 

[newintown]

The only ones I can vent to are my therapist, which could no longer be an option soon since it is too expensive for my budget, and the people on this website, which actually do help a lot, and are the only ones I can be truly sincere to.

Trying to talk with other people, in my opinion, has been a complete waste of time. At best they treat you like an alien or just spew useless "advice", at worst they can try to take advantage of you or turn you into an outcast.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

I used to have an online friend on Discord for 8 years or so, before I started having episodes and just insulting them over and over. They still tried to fucking help me throughout all of this. But after seeing this site, I guess "helping" someone suicidal is just a bad thing to do in the first place. It would've been better if they just hit back at me and finally made me CTB. Dying would put me and everyone else in a better place.

 

[wondering&wandering]

1 person. I found them through SS, and I'm so happy to have someone to not only talk to, but to vent to who doesn't shun me. We're on Discord now. They are so nice and relatable!

 

[moodrings]

nope, i always grew up thinking showing sadness was embarrassing and so i never did, and its stuck with me today. i know i have friends i could go to-- but i feel stupid.

 

[Hollowman]

Venting and talking don't help me anymore. I'm too far gone.

 

[preacheroffalsehood]

I never disclose my suicidal ideation to anyone around me. I've seen the reactions of my family members towards someone who did self harm (which is also another family member) and I realized that I would be put into the same or even worse treatment if I tell anyone about it.

With friends, it's a definite no. None have been close to me and the one that is a bit close to me, I don't really want to burden her with my issues. Besides, she's also going through some stuff and I'm slowly distancing myself away from her so that I could ctb later on when the time comes.

 

[Shrike]

Nope.

I used to have people but we mostly drifted apart back when I wasn't so worried about gaining or losing relationships. There was a guy who, surprisingly, was a perfectly healthy, normal person who was really good at listening and giving advice. He was in my gaming guild. But we're not that close that I feel OK just jumping on him with my stuff right now.

My parents are useless, even ignoring the typical cultural approach of acting like mental health doesn't exist at all, they're extremely self-absorbed. My father would talk about how I shouldn't have depression and in the same breath complain about his. No, I don't know how that's supposed to make sense, either. My mother did a similar thing then one time I mentioned CTB. She basically said "well, I want to CTB, too!"

My friends, I think, are intentionally mentally barricaded. It's not just things like depression, they tend to push positive messages about events like COVID-19 or climate change, as well, in a manner that is on the edge of denial. I think it got worse when one of my friends was seeing her therapist for a while. I have a suspicion she was told to not spend too much with "negative" people and the like, because she seemed notably colder after, and I don't really trust her anymore.

I had a series of disappointing therapists. My last one was the most capable one, but she was only fine for dealing with issues on the surface. Once I started delving into other issues, particularly childhood, she was getting visibly stressed out and confused. My childhood wasn't even that especially bad. I don't even have that much going on but it seems to blow a gasket in the average therapist quite fast.

Perhaps I could find someone for mutual vents here. In the past I didn't have much trouble with listening, as long as the other person is willing to listen, too.

 

[doormat25]

No.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I do have a friend who I know from real life who I sometimes video message because I know he won't immediately report me to the psych ward. Unfortunately most of his advice isn't exactly helpful and all he can ever say whenever I say I want or need to kill myself is "nah bruh" but I guess that's still better than nothing.

 

[pole]

no.

i don't know how it feels but I assume it would be nice to have someone there to vent to about deep and personal stuff. a person who you trust wholeheartedly, feel will not judge you, and actually listens and wants to be there. hearing something other than your own negative self-talk would be… interesting.

at the same time, those people are rare and I have yet to encounter someone I would feel comfortable in opening up with. I also feel it's important to keep a safe distance and not to get close with anyone in general, but in particular, when I'm suicidal. This ensures that there's zero attachment and nothing holding me back for when the time comes.

 

[Kit1]

No. Except this forum now. Truly an orphan now.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

Nope. Literally no one

 

[KitSych]

No. I had only one friend online to whom I opened up and he started ignoring me afterwards.

 

[Quiet_Cricket]

No

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

Technically yes. I have people on here if I needed.

Otherwise not really. Even if I did have people it wouldn't make a difference. I struggle to articulate my thoughts and feelings. Having no one doesn't make a difference because of that.

 

[Doemu]

Yes, to much, and they are important.They are all in SaSu.

Out of here, no one. But out of here it's doesn't matters.

 

[onbekend]

Not really. I guess my siblings? Excluding family, there's like one person who would be able to tolerate venting, but I would never bother them with that.

 

[cryone]

i dont. i only have opened up to 1 person abt suicide, but thats coz i knew they wouldnt give a fuck. not inherently a good or bad reaction. i just hate when people pity me (condescendingly) or see me as a freak.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

I've made the mistake again and again where I think I'm close to someone, disclose my depression/suicidality, and end up driving them away because of it (along with me being generally miserable to be around).

I'm done doing that now. Talking about it is pointless outside of this forum; at best it might take the edge off those thoughts, but at worst it'll make people leave me or get me thrown into a psych ward.

 

[Raven2]

I have 1 person I will talk to about certain issues but never about ctb. They may be able to handle it as we have spoken about ctb in a general sense a while back but I dont want to take the risk of losing a friendship. So I just keep quiet about it and just vent on here

 

[Agon321]

Actually, no. I can't talk to others about such things, so I don't expect others to be able to. I also don't feel the need to talk to anyone. I think my death as a result of CTB may be a shock for some people. From the outside it doesn't look like I was planning anything like that. Even when I'm alone, I feel "normal" most of the time. I think I'm more and more resigned to my fate, although I won't be ready for CTB for some time.