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I

I want to end it

Arcanist
Apr 29, 2018
475
I joined this forum in April, so I'm one of the earlier members. I'm feeling a bit of pressure to ctb, seeing earlier members like sonnenblume, tiredman etc. who have all ctb'd and I'm still here.

I do have legitimate reasons, mainly practical reasons. But there is always the argument "if you really wanted to ctb, you would have done it already".

Does anybody else who joined this forum early relate to this?
 
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T

Tiburcio

Guest
Nah

If they succeded, good for them

I just chill until my time arrives.


Well, all what I can chill with the stupid anxiety attacking me.
 
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skyofAuroras

skyofAuroras

Student
Apr 10, 2018
136
Kind of. I've also been here since April, and I do feel a little jealousy towards earlier users who have already ctb. There is the thought of why am I even on this site if I'm not sure about wanting to die. But I know no one will think ill of me if I decide to stay around, and no one here would ever force someone into suicide.
 
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D

Deleted_9cKnXB34QG

Mage
Jun 26, 2018
501
Yeah, kinda. I still remember the original SanctionedSuicide sub lol.
I've been around for way too long, twiddling my thumbs and overthinking my method while others actually get their shit together and ctb. Eh, I can't even kill myself properly >.>
 
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T

typx

Specialist
May 4, 2018
381
I'm not sure. I'm more shocked that I've lasted this long. I guess I wish I'd pulled it off but I don't feel bad about it. Personally frustrated, yes. But it's something we do in our own time I suppose.
 
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Aponia & Ataraxia

Aponia & Ataraxia

Experienced
Jun 24, 2018
233
There's only 3 reasons for why one would not carry out their entropy-given task:

1. they desire an event(s) in the future, aside from their exit

2. they have not fully-processed their emotions and risk: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postponement_of_affect

3. they know that their method does not "hold water" --something is not quite right, or is just plainly unappealing/unsafe ("survival instinct")
 
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acher

acher

Member
Aug 6, 2018
12
Things have been going downhill for me more rapidly and now I'm considering it way more seriously, so in that regard I at least feel more desire to end it. I would say that I do feel a bit of pressure, yes.
 
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DF90

DF90

Experienced
Mar 18, 2018
275
I've never felt more pressure to ctb by being apart of the ss community. If I am being honest I'm still alive because of it.
 
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C

Comatose11

Mage
Jul 26, 2018
572
I'm not one of the original members but I have never felt pressure to ctb. I like how pro choice this forum is. Not pro life, not pro suicide, but pro choice.
 
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acher

acher

Member
Aug 6, 2018
12
It's not caused by anyone here, just seeing other people ctb makes me feel guilty. I hate myself so, so much.
 
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A

Ashton

Member
Jul 24, 2018
33
I wouldn't worry about it , you'll go when you're ready.
 
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Q

QueenEtna

Gone
Jul 29, 2018
256
I've been with the sanctioned suicide reddit for a year before it got shut down so no I don't.
 
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anna

anna

downfall
Mar 18, 2018
441
I'm almost from the beginning and I did not feel pressured
neither would allow anyone to do it
 
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