Venting Does anybody else feel like everybody wants to fix you, but nobody wants to try?

[Toxinebulaic]

When carbon monoxide kills you, you don't feel it. You don't smell, taste, or sense it. In fact, you simply fall unconscious. Then you die, silently. Peacefully. When I found out about this, those around me told me they found it terrifying. I made a mental note to figure out how to get some.

So, I'm back from the brink of hope again. This time it was actually looking pretty good - I had an idea of how I could work everything out. I might go back to being hopeful soon, but this past month and a half have been episode after episode. It probably would've been fine if I hadn't gotten a migraine and then had my girlfriend threaten to shoot me in the face. I haven't seen her since, and I've really needed the physical affection. Just... somebody to talk to would've been fine. But there's nobody to talk to.

Everybody says that they're open to me talking about my problems with them, but they don't get it. I tell them everything, they look at me like I'm broken, and then they tell me that things will get better. I don't want to hear that things will get better. I want to stop being looked at like I'm broken, so that somebody will finally treat me like a reasonable person. I'm not a maniac. It's just really fucking hard to fix yourself, and when I try, I tend to have the most success when I do so by myself.

I don't vent so that somebody can confirm that I'm terrible. I vent so that somebody can tell me that it's okay that I'm terrible. That it will get better, sure, but it's okay to take a break from working on that for a bit so that I can lie down and indulge the self hatred for a bit. That they understand why I feel the way I do. That they've been there. I don't think people realize how invalidating it is to recite a cliché and then make a joke to lighten the mood.

Does anybody else feel the same way?

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I feel the same way. Hearing the same repetitive cliche replies can be so frustrating. I feel you with having episode after episode these last months, I've been the same, it's so grueling. Go at your own pace. Sending you much love & affection :] hoping you feel better soon!! And hope you find people who understand better

 

[Ironborn]

Only understanding I have ever found is on this site.
When I've tried to talk to people irl they always somehow make it about themselves.
Wishing peace upon everyone here.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I rarely have people want to help or fix me. I suppose either they understand the suffering or they just think I'm so messed up that it's for the best. Not entirely sure why they don't do the stereotypical thing of trying to stop me but I'm grateful they don't.

I do have people that tell me their story of how they made it so far though. I don't believe it's them trying to help but just show that it can be done if you want and it's not impossible.