Documenting Reality et al

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I wish I didn't feel the urge to sometimes check out Documenting Reality. For some reason, the gore appeals to me. But I'm also struck by the futility (and fragility) of life when I see some fucked up things. It's somehow strange to me that we have all these emotions, complexities and convoluted life paths - there is so much to a human being - but once we hit the ground from 12 stories up it's clear how we're suddenly just pressurized sacks of blood and guts.

This stuff triggers my depersonalization big time too. How can we see out of these strange golf ball looking eyes? How can consciousness exist from simple brain matter? What's the point of life in general? How did any of it start?

I don't even want to look at sites like this really, but I feel compelled to on some level. It's like on the surface perhaps I'm challenging myself to not be grossed out, but I also feel like I have all these existential questions that I semi enjoy exploring, mentally.

Anyone else a bit like this?

 

[ClownMe]

I've consumed a lot of gore in my life because of my morbid curiosity, it's had a negative impact on me for sure. It's one of those things that once you see it there's no going back, it's now impossible for me to view the World through rose-coloured glasses due to all the fucked up shit ive seen. Life was a mistake.

 

[jandek]

I used to do this periodically, for similar reasons. I was looking for "inspiration" on how to ctb and to desensitize myself to gore, and I also wanted to see humanity at its absolute worst. I regret seeing those images and videos, honestly. Some were just sad, while others were really haunting and disturbing. I sometimes wonder if I gave myself a form of ptsd from it.

 

[theboy]

I have seen images and videos beyond the gore. I even "did stuff" with it. I regret it.
Morbidity can destroy the mind.

I understand you

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I don't really like gore but I used to occasionally check out r/watchpeopledie when it was still a thing. I didn't really *like* watching someones death, but it was so fascinating to see all the random accidents and mishaps that would take people out. People just going about their day and BAM an out of control car runs into them on the sidewalk or some workplace explosion kills everyone nearby, all caught on CCTV. It's crazy how these people got up that morning with no clue that they were about to die. It gives me a weird feeling, idk.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Gore scares me on some level, but I underestimate my tolerance. This is probably left over from my squeamish and sensitive childhood, but I used to think it was about the visual aspect. However, graphic body horror in media doesn't faze me at all, visual or written, because it's artifical.

I claim to be detached, and sometimes I am, but deep down I hate the knowledge of others suffering so much. These things highlight the sheer scale of pain, and that makes it much more real. I also hate the knowledge that life is out of my hands and anything could kill me at any time, however statistically unlikely—thus taking away the possibility of 'the perfect death', which for me is one I have control over.

Gore and death videos are sobering because it's a reminder of how random and unforgiving existence is. For me it's the sense of 'complexity and meaning' humans attach to humanity being ended in one coincidence or mistake. And all for what?

 

[whatevs]

I stopped watching it ages ago. It gave me the perspective I needed and I moved on to bigger and better things like feeling alone and empty every day.

 

[kiuya]

I think gore is one of those things that humans are naturally interested in. It's like looking at a car crash; it's horrible but you cannot take your eyes off from it.
I personally don't view gore nor seek it, but I'm into true crime which could be classified as a tamer version of gore in a way. It all appeals to our animalistic instincts.

 

[actual_fox]

I draw gore or death, but I also know that this is just idealization of the real thing and death and life can be very ugly- like those recent deaths in Ukraine or on gore sites (extreme examples).

I like to ponder on difference between alive matter and dead one. How one can change to the other and alive matter needs to struggle to keep itself not dead. life is a continuous process of controlled decomposition.

But there is something in seeing somebody die- I have never seen It irl and I have only seen one dead person for flash second with head crushed on a road. It did not impress me. Also I think I have seen a young married couple crashed on the road. It was blocked but I have seen glimpse of her wedding dress on the road and completely destroyed motorcycle with police covering the scene- so that the normies never see or witness death.

Also killed fish impressed (not in positive way- just gave me impression) me as a kid. The way my grandfather smashed It's head against wooden bridge after I caught It. With It's head bleeding and It moving, he smashed It again and again until It stopped. And other fish that my father gutted. With It's head and tiny fins still moving even when the heart was in the other bucket.