Do you want to hurt yourself?

[noname223]

I don't mean necessarily only self-harm. Do you want to hurt yourself with your suicide? Maybe as a punishments and why else?
Do you ever wanted to hurt yourself emotionally? Hace you done something solely for the purpose to hurt you?

I have quite ambivalent feelings on that. I rather don't want to hurt myself I rather want to escape the pain. But when I was extremely depressive I also had the (pathological) feeling that I deserve it. To that time I fantasized about pretty painful and brutal ways how to kill myself. I joked to therapists that I want to behead myself and referenced doing seppuku. They were a little bit shocked.

The only self-harm I have ever done was hurting my gingiva. Weird story though. It hurt a lot.

I think I torture me a lot because I study very hard. I don't stop even I become suicidal because of it. My abuse was related to studying this is why I am quite numb concerning studying. I am very hard towards myself. One goal of therapy is to become more friendly towards yourself.

I hope everyone who wants to hurt oneself can become more friendlier towards oneself. But what do I know about it? It is probably a pretty complex issue. I cannot fully relate to the allure of cutting for example. But I think these people are probably in a lot of pain.

 

[lostmylove]

Often I have intrusive thoughts about dying by stabbing myself and violent means but I'm too soft for that. It's not really something I would consider but the thought of me having a quick death even violent helps me a little with escapism.

 

[jackodonnell]

I want someone else to hurt me. I want to be punished physically for what I've done.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

no

 

[jackodonnell]

I've had thoughts of carving images into myself tbh

 

[FuneralCry]

No, not at all. I am already suffering enough, just simply being alive hurts me. I do not need any more pain. I see all pain as being completely unnecessary. I deserve to pass away peacefully and I deserve better than this horrible existence. I deserve the peace that only death can bring. No one should have to die a painful death, a peaceful exit should be a human right.

 

[butterfly🦋]

Often I have intrusive thoughts about dying by stabbing myself and violent means but I'm too soft for that. It's not really something I would consider but the thought of me having a quick death even violent helps me a little with escapism.

I have thoughts like that also but I'm also to soft to go through with any of them either. But it would be just my luck to fail and be worst off than I am now.

 

[lostmylove]

I have thoughts like that also but I'm also to soft to go through with any of them either. But it would be just my luck to fail and be worst off than I am now.

Bingo

 

[Istanbulite]

No

 

[Messgram]

no, I already suffer too much

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Every time i see myself in the mirror, or i see my triggers i do.

 

[Lullaby]

I have horrible intrusive thoughts but I don't really believe I deserve any of that. It's crazy what your mind will try to do to you.

 

[waitingforrest]

There are times I thought of ctb with painful methods, it feels like I deserve the pain.

 

[VapeAway]

There were many times when I wanted to hurt myself and there were many times when I did. I don't have a healthy lifestyle anymore, because I don't care and I hope I will die sooner than late. When I had Covid (twice) I hoped it will kill me. But my body is very resilient.

 

[ornitier199]

Yes. It will come eventually with my current plan.

 

[Extreme_weather]

No

 

[EraseRewind]

I do and have, after many years of being clean and sober I feel that I'm heading back to the booze. Hurting myself is the only way to stop my mind from attacking me.

 

[Hurt]

Nope. I'm suffring a lot and I just want to cease to exist.