Discussion Do you want to get better?

[Thinking]

No because I feel like people who are happy are being delusional. I'd rather be cynacal and realistic. Also I'd feel guilty if I got better.

Note: sorry if the words "getting better" is offensive to anyone. I don't mean there's anything wrong with us, just that we're technically not what is normally considered to be healthy

 

[Deleted member 10475]

I'd like to. I don't want to be happy, but just content with my life. I want to be able to accomplish my goals and just be okay. I don't want to be fucking depressed everyday.

I don't think I'll ever get to that point, though.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

there is no "getting better" for me. i've tried, i really did. but trauma doesn't give a damn about any of that. trauma doesn't care how "happy" or "content" you are. trauma always sticks with you no matter what.

not to mention the "healthy" coping mechanisms do jack shit besides occupy my hands and give me a nice little distraction. all the "mental health" professionals think i'm a kid throwing a fit (which to an extent, i am).

i didn't mean to go on a mini-rant like that. what i'm trying to say is that "getting help" only works for surface level issues, or only temporarily. or they just put you on some meds and hope you become a good happy citizen like everybody else.

 

[Shades of Grey]

Not anymore. I've done (many) years of treatment with minimal response. I have a laundry list of anomalies, some of which can't really be "fixed".

I don't believe that I have it in me to make the sort of progress that would need to be made in order for me to experience reasonable quality of life.

 

[I_love_to_bake]

I used to be cynical depressed and realistic. But I have instead chosen non-reason: optimism faith and hope. I like life better like this. I get more out of life living this way.

We can't predict the future anyway. So why bother.

 

[Sarahlynn]

I have tried to get better for years. Tried numerous medications and therapists. Had meaningful relationships with friends and family. Taken education. Done "happy stuff" like travelling, volunteering and experiencing new things. Nothing helps. I would LOVE to be content, not even happy, but able to live a somewhat decent life with a regular job and some hobbies.

At some point I guess you just have to realize that life isn't possible for everyone. And unfortunately, I am one of those people.

 

[miguel6565]

i used to,now as you said wanna be realist and just wanna die not get better

 

[BPD Barbie]

Yes, but I can't see it ever happening. Too many factors to take into consideration.

 

[timetofly]

I've tried for years. My answer now is a definitive "no". I want a peaceful exit and that's it. I'm going after it, no more delusion for me.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

No because there is nothing to get "better" from. I'm not depressed or anything else I just don't want to live.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I'm too far gone.

 

[wanttodie]

• 
  No, getting better is stupid i want to die want my life to be over

 

[PoisonedJuliet]

I do want to get better and I really hope that I can be myself again. I know I'll never be 100% but I could at least try. If I get better I hope that Id be able to help other people like me. Who knows, maybe I never will but I don't want to give up just yet. I think it's good to have a little hope.

 

[AJ95]

I would like to get better, but I don't think it's realistic / will ever happen

I've done years of different therapies, a dozen different medications, and changed my life completely but none of it has made me significantly happier.

Of course I don't want to die, I actually think very few people really want to die. I just want these awful feelings to stop, and it seems that suicide is the only way that's going to happen; since nothing else has worked.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'd want to get better if getting better wasn't so hard and if I wasn't beyond saving in the first place.

 

[Ghost2211]

I would like to get better if I could, but I don't think I can.

 

[Jojo81]

I want to be rich and successful. With achieving good retirement funds to take care of my family

 

[J113632]

I used to. Now I really don't care.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

Not any more, I used to and I really did try, it just didn't happen. I could blame x y or z but in the past 5 years it's just been me giving up on life, getting stuck in a rut, being helped out by family, thinking things will change, changing my life for the better, messing up, then the help goes away
I don't really blame anyone though, s**t happens. Thats where me an my family disagree.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Don't see it happening. There's hardly anything appealing about spending even more years suffering with the hope that my efforts might pay off. I either get a miracle or it ain't getting fixed.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

No because I feel like people who are happy are being delusional. I'd rather be cynacal and realistic. Also I'd feel guilty if I got better.

Me too. But I think it's because I'm so, well, bitter. And I always feel like a fraud or like some sort of freakish alien. I deserve to feel like this though so

 

[DeathNoot]

Yes, no, maybe so. Well I've been told 1000 times there's no getting better from a disorder, only coping. I don't know if I want to put all that effort in for a maybe.

 

[Circles]

The thing about getting 'better' is that things won't permanently stay better that'll actually make a difference before life knocks you back down to where you were or an even deeper dark hole. There's no guarantee it'll happen no matter what either unlike suffering. It just feels like such a pointless struggle it's unbelievable. I mean I wish things could but let's be for real life is a scam and a trickster teasing us.

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

I don't think I can, I've been depressed for over half my life and the reason is diabetes mixed with a load of other shit that came with it. I'm close to the end maybe this year maybe next but soon I've put it off for far too long already there's no hope left but I'm still trying to make people think I'm okay. Only my dad knows a little of how I am and how I feel I hide it from everyone else

 

[OfThePraxicOrder]

I think I'm too far gone already, at some point I was working on getting better, and i genuinely thought that I had everything worked out, I was finally on a consistent diet and workout regiment, I had a good job and was getting good overtime, and I had found someone who I cared about deeply(who also felt the same about me). But in the end I ended up falling back to where I was, part of it was my own self destruction, and the other part where outside parties that I had no control of. I think the thing that finally pushed me to finally going with my plan to ctb(something I always knew i was going to dovanyway) was that I was finally happy with my life since I was a child, and then loosing all that really broke me. I think that had i not gotten to that high point in my life I would still be suicidal, but I would still be plodding along with my life, just maintaining my urges and pushing them down since that was my normal life. I don't really know anymore, I tend not to think about for too long because my head starts hurting bad, and my anxiety starts acting up bad, and I just idk.

 

[Superdeterminist]

My answer is: Yes, but I don't know how, or if it's even possible. My first and probably last visit to a psychiatrist was a complete waste of time, I don't want to be a guinea pig for half-effective meds that take months for any result, change my personality in unpredictable ways, and come with risks of unsavoury side effects.

I would prefer to have a positive outlook on life, to not want to be dead, but when I consider the facts and the most probable outcomes in the future, I find that impossible.

 

[Mr2005]

In theory yes but then I don't feel I deserve to and I don't really want to see 2021. What I really want is to go back in time, fix my mistake and actually feel like I got here naturally

 

[Xocoyotziin]

I want to get better enough that I can do it without so many doubts, but not so much better that I begin to think that living is reasonable
Like a happy go lucky oblivious dude marching straight off a cliff

 

[TotallyIsolated]

I want to be feel safe, and be comfortable in my own skin. I want to love and to be loved. I want to live a life thats worth living.

Its just that I can't imagine how any of that will ever happen. I've spent my whole adult life trying to fix myself but I'm just too broken. It kills me to see other people picking themselves up and moving on with their lives, while I've been working as hard as I can and I never feel any different. I'm worthless, unlovable garbage.

 

[XYZ]

100% Y E S
100 % NEVER WILL
That's why it's called chronic