Discussion Do you want people to know that you committed suicide?

[dinosavr]

Do you want your family or friends to lie to others that you had a disease or an accident? Or is it okay for you that everyone finds out - your coworkers, your old friends, your neighbors, your other relatives, etc?


I've seen some people who are planning to make their suicide look like an accident or asking their family in their suicide note to keep it secret.

What's your opinion? Do you feel ashamed? Or maybe it's even better for you that people know (for revenge purposes etc)?

 

[ResilientAF]

I don't care whether people know or not. The few friends I have that I can be real with know how my life has gone and know I struggle with torturous dark thoughts so they would know. I don't care what family think, they're part of the problem. Have attempted several times in past and been told to get a grip, I need a hobby, and what a terrible thing to do to spite said family member. They can fuck themselves. Do I care if people know, no. They'll all sit there and pass comment, make judgement then you'll be forgotten about. People will gossip, let them. I couldn't give a fuck.

 

[Raven2]

I would prefer no one outside of family to know.
Theres a death in service payment from my employer so I am guessing my family would have to tell them what the cause of death was. I doubt it covers suicide tbh anyway so i should probably forget about that.
But I have a gossipy manager who would probably let slip to my work colleagues and itll get out that way.

the couple of friends I have dont know my family or where I live so they probably wouldnt even know I died. Probably just think I ghosted them.

 

[Cara7177]

I mean, I'm obviously not telling anyone ahead of time. And seeing as I'm completely isol;aged with no family & no friends, what will most likely happen is my landlord will smell my rotting corpse & find me days after I finish myself off. Which is fine with me.

 

[divinemistress36]

I want people to know to help spread awareness about the devastating effects of Depression

 

[UKscotty]

I won't be here to care

 

[sserafim]

I'd rather not have anyone know because unfortunately there's still a stigma attached to suicide.

 

[dragonofenvy]

I want people to know that I suffered because I've spent years suffering in silence. It's a shame that it would go to these lengths for it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It wouldn't really matter to me as I simply won't exist by that point, we all have to die anyway and I bet that eventually most of us won't even exist in the memories of those who continue to stay here, we'll just be forgotten about. I find comfort in the thought of permanently not-existing, it's comforting to think of how at that point existence will no longer be my problem.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Ideally, no. However, if me dying meant that other people did have to find out about it, I would still end up wanting to be dead. Either way, I don't really care too much

 

[Grav]

I don't really care. I think it ends up causing more issues hiding it for those who actually do care. If it gets spread that something else is the cause then they would have to keep the lie up or have even more difficult conversations since not only was it a suicide but then they lied, especially if the person lied to is family or close friends. My ctb won't change the world or be some wake-up call and since I'll be dead what is someone going to do besides raise me from the ashes and berate me? If anything knowing I ctb'd would get a lot of "oh yeah, that makes sense now" head nods.

 

[Linda]

I have already told a handful of people that I will ctb if my husband dies before me and I have completed my life's work, and I have told them how I will do it. Telling them is my small contribution to making the topic of suicide more acceptable in mainstream society. Reactions have varied, but nobody has been outright hostile or has tried to dissuade me.

 

[filthystray]

It may be a little fucked up but I want it to hurt people that I died that way and most of them knew enough to be understanding but weren't

 

[Linda]

It may be a little fucked up but I want it to hurt people that I died that way and most of them knew enough to be understanding but weren't

The problem with that kind of thinking is that is may do you more harm than them. If you are about to leave this world, it might be better to put thoughts of that kind aside. You have more important things to think about - like yourself.

 

[Doombox]

I think about one particular doctor, whether I hope he finds out or not. I go back and forth. And then I go back and forth regarding whether he would care or not if he did find out. I had a shocking experience with him fairly recently and he definitely added to my overall burden and if he'd done what he actually said he was going to do I might not be finishing up my plans to ctb right now. I'm sorry to be so vague about him but if I get into the details, I'll end up writing a book, dox myself, and it won't help anybody else anyway, plus don't we all have doctor stories. Honestly his behavior was so bad that part of me wonders if he hopes I'll ctb. I'm actually glad that I won't be here to find out what the answer is. Same with other people. It's going to be so nice to finally, ultimately, be completely unaffected by what other people think. I'm doing what I can to have my affairs in order so that nobody has to feel too much irritation at all the crap that needs to be done when somebody who lives alone dies. I spent today giving away big bags of crap in various online groups. The classic warning sign: giving away possessions. There's nobody here to notice, which in many ways is nice. I wish I could give it all away but there's no time. Anyway, I have one friend who is a human megaphone, you know the type, and the moment she finds out the entire world will know, and I find that annoying, as I always do, but hell, I won't be here to be annoyed by it all. And I have no family to make look bad. Oh I had another thought. I think people who are left behind after someone ctb ought, within reason and the law, be allowed to handle the news in whatever way helps them, so let the megaphone blare on! There is exactly one person whose reaction I care about and I have done everything in my power to make arrangements in his favor. What a ramble! It's the atavan talking.

 

[nobody11]

I dont give a damn

 

[Mortelles]

I'd say it's hard because some people might blame themselves and it could cause catastrophic effects on others lives. But in the end yeah I'd want people to know it wasn't an accident. That way they would know it was me and my selfish decisions

 

[WhiteRabbit]

I'd rather it look like an accident or something, but with the method I plan to use they'll know what I've done.

 

[SoulofSteel]

It may be a little fucked up but I want it to hurt people that I died that way and most of them knew enough to be understanding but weren't

Same thing here, although the reason why I want to die is to end my own suffering and trauma, I want them to know how much their actions affected me, whether they give a shit or not, that I won't be here to care about, however I hope as hell it affects them. Is it fucked up? Maybe, but they chose to fuck me up like this.

 

[Thanksforeverything]

I wish no one would find out, but that's sadly not possible. If I could disappear into some forest and then leave no trace, that'd be my perfect ending.

 

[Ironborn]

I want people to know that I suffered because I've spent years suffering in silence. It's a shame that it would go to these lengths for it.

This completely, I've never been one to put my burdens on others, hell I took on a lot more than my fair share, it's selfish but it would feel like collecting a debt that's been building my entire life.

 

[Leavesfromthevine]

I don't care because most people won't care much anyway. They can't understand the extent of what goes on in my head or what I've had to deal with irl. Explaining stuff like that is never as intense as feeling it firsthand.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I want all the people that only contacted me when they needed something, to find out about me when they try and contact me only because they need something.

 

[Scythe]

I want my close friends to know, they deserve to know what happened, the rest while I'm fine with them knowing I doubt they will know. I won't be telling them beforehand or giving them a delayed message. Although I do plan to have something there for ppl that come looking for me. I plan to give the suggestion that I am dead, but I don't plan on outright telling them. I want to do it this way so they can be a bit imaginative with what happened. My life is boring, maybe they can imagine something cool in place of reality

 

[onbekend]

I mean it doesn't really matter once your dead, but hopefully they'll think my death was accidental or something because I feel like my family would be much less heartbroken.

 

[Guy Smiley]

Ideally, I would like to make it look like I just died in my sleep from a heart attack or something like that. If I couldn't pull that off, then my second choice would be to make it look like an accident. The reason is because it would hurt my family less if they thought it wasn't suicide.

However, if they were to know that I killed myself, then I'm totally fine with them telling whomever they want. I feel no reason or desire to keep it a secret from anyone else.

 

[groucho]

Ideally no because of the hurt it causes. If someone dies of "natural" causes people are less traumatised. Realistically there will be little way of hiding a suicide without help after the fact which means getting others involved, which I'm not prepared to do nevermind how unlikely it would be for someone to help.

Thankfully almost none of my friends call me so I think if I delete the numbers from my phone the friendship would naturally atrophy and they'll never find out.

 

[rozeske]

There obviously is a big stigma attached to suicide, but I think I will be too dead to care. There isn't anyone I want my death to hurt so my family can do as they please with the news but I don't think they can keep it a secret. Once a gossip escapes in some way, it is like a wildfire here, you can't stop it.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't care. I'm gone anyway.

 

[Kit1]

Actually I don't want my own family, friends, colleagues etc to know. But I definitely want almost the abusers, paedophiles and every single medical professional who treated me and rejected me to know - for they deserve to know that they killed me.