Venting Do you think your suicide will cause others to kill themselves also?

[Circles]

The one reason I'm holding back is for my mom and brother. I don't want to hurt them or cause them to experience grief again or even the thought of being the cause that would lead to their suicides also. My mom has said before whenever I get in my bad moments expressing how bad I want to die and then she'd say how she couldn't live without me that she has no one else or anybody that loves her enough as much as I do. And then with my brother I can't help but feel guilty and deep regret that not only will he have to deal with my death he may end up dealing with my moms death also if she kill herself after I do and I can't help myself thinking that he may even kill himself after losing the only close family he has meaning that I'd destroy my family just because I want to die. It's like a fucked up domino effect. I didn't ask for this I don't want this responsibility to keep my already fragile fucked up family from tearing apart. I try to rationalize myself that it's a lost cause and sooner or later it's all going for fall apart anyway. Why the fuck does this have be so fucking hard? The guilt is eating away at me thinking of the grief and loneliness both of them may experience but living for others gets old after a while it eventually feels shallow and empty just like everything else does. Even the 'I love you's' gets emptier and emptier until I'm left feeling nothing and yet I still feel obligated to keep living for them. I'm scared of hurting them but I'm more scared of experiencing a lifetime of senseless suffering. Why do I have to care so much? Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated like holy fuck.

 

[sadworld]

I thought about all of this before. I don't love my familly but I still don't want them to ctb after I do either. Maybe you can try to talk with your mom about it? Let her know that you don't want her to die after you ctb. Tell them they should keep living for you. It's kinda hard for me to relate cause I would never be able to talk to my parents like that.

 

[RedFoxSwims]

Ouch that's a tough situation that you're in. I have no advice for you unfortunately just to do what your heart says is the right thing. Perhaps leave a suicide note that says you don't want them to ctb too. I wish you the best.

 

[Fragile]

I felt this post. The only reason why I'm still here is because of my mother and brothers, they also have shitty lives and will suffer a lot from my passing. I really hope that their lives turn out alright, but I'm also being realistic with this, I know that this may have some extreme consequences for the people I love, that domino effect may happen on their lives.

I really wish that there was another way, I just want to end my own pain without hurting others. This sucks so much and gives me tons of guilt.

 

[allym101]

Noo way. People function just fine without me and I haven't really left any major footprint on this Earth. I'm just a forgettable face in a sea of people.

 

[AJ95]

I don't think so.

I do think they'll be upset and sad about my death, but that will pass. They'll be fine.

 

[albino_elk]

I don't think so.

I do think they'll be upset and sad about my death, but that will pass. They'll be fine.

Your parents keep You under their roof so i guess they care , You don't know what is inside of them and maybe they are afraid to express warm emotions cuz they were programmed that way in order to survive?

 

[death137]

My mother told me multiple times she will die if I suicide. I used to worry very much but now I don't care. She loves me more than anyone but she has been insane for years and I think only death can free her. I don't want her to die while I'm alive but I worry less now by the thought of how my suicide will affect her.

 

[GrumpyFrog]

That's a tough spot to be in. I'm sorry things are so complicated for you. I don't have any advice, but my sympathy goes out to you.

Yet another thread that reminds me I'm a lucky ducky because I'm not sure anyone will even cry when they put me in the ground. The upside to being a cynical asshole for years...

 

[Mr2005]

It's hell. My girlfriends always been good at life she's not a useless failure like I am. To take that away from her just seems evil. None of this is her fault. My mum on the other hand had plenty of opportunity to help and never did. I don't feel too bad about it. I often wonder if I'd feel better if she was dead but my brother doesn't need that

 

[TripleA]

Nope

 

[woxihuanni]

They will pop champagne.

 

[happyhappyfunny]

Yeah same. I'm pretty sure that my mother's gonna ctb soon as i do it. My family (which is just me and my mom, i've never had a dad) functions pretty normally so i cant be so irresponsible to my mother. She's already suffering from her own issues. And thats the only reason that i havent already ctb.

 

[Breadbfra]

I'm staying too for now for my mother. She would 100% kill herself with no doubt. And my gf who lost her mother due to suicide. I can understand you on a spiritual level

 

[degeneratewaste]

yes, I completely understand this.

I don't think anyone in my family would kill themselves... but they don't deserve any more grief. in the last year, my nana, aunt, cousin, and great aunt have died, and the family have been through a lot of stress. my friends in real life, however, a lot of them are already mentally ill, and I do fear deeply that they would kill themselves after I do. it's something that terrifies me.

 

[k75]

I really hope not.

 

[Rue89]

I totally understand this. My mom told me that if I kill myself she will too. I've managed to get over a lot of the guilt. One thing that helped with that was realizing her hypocrisy. She'd be doing the same thing to her son, parents, and siblings. I keep telling myself that her actions are not my responsibility and it's wrong for her to try to guilt trip me this way.

 

[Lupgevif]

I thought about this, but... I don't care. My parents support each other more than they support me; they even have told me to just stop bluffing and kill myself already, but I don't believe they really think that and they said that in the heat of the moment. And while I only have one circle of friends, each friend in this circle has other circles themselves, so they have plenty of people to support them as well.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I relate to everything in your post. My mom has said she will kill herself if I go and how could I do this to her and the family, no one will ever be the same. I get it she is my mom...but why does she rather I sit and suffer for years crying and miserable than just die? It's not like any good quality time. I guess it's just getting to the point of putting our feeling first, doing everything we can to make sure they feel loved and it wasn't anything they did. I have been alive purely for the sake of my mom for years now...I just can't do it anylonger. Live simply is not enough to make me desire to live

 

[Mr2005]

I thought about this, but... I don't care. My parents support each other more than they support me; they even have told me to just stop bluffing and kill myself already, but I don't believe they really think that and they said that in the heat of the moment. And while I only have one circle of friends, each friend in this circle has other circles themselves, so they have plenty of people to support them as well.

It's usually said out of frustration rather than malice. When it doesn't sound sympathetic it almost makes it easier to think screw their feelings but I know the guilt would be even greater for them. Whatever you end I think should be on as good terms as possible

 

[lucid]

I've no idea if I truly mean that much to others, maybe my mother but I really don't like to think that she'd do that.

 

[Lupgevif]

It's usually said out of frustration rather than malice. When it doesn't sound sympathetic it almost makes it easier to think screw their feelings but I know the guilt would be even greater for them. Whatever you end I think should be on as good terms as possible

Yeah, my choices were never based on anything anyone said, and they are yet to be. They will feel like they did have an influence though, and they will associate it with what they said, despite my saying it didn't affect me. Nothing I can do about it, though. The part about they supporting each other more than they support me is still true, so if I end up ctbing, I am not worried about who they'll turn to.

 

[itachi of death]

I've wanted to kill myself for as long as I can remember,traumatic childhood,being ignored to the extent of a non existent presence,I od qhen I was 17 but it wasn't enough so I survived and placed in a mental institution for 1 month ,met a girl 6 months later had a child and 3 years after that had another one my ex and I split up before my 2nd child was born,alot of terrible choices and decisions life throws at me has made my urge to ended all,and I hate being alive I've lost of sense of happiness or sense of self,I wake up to be happy and only an hour or two into I wanna kill myself but if I did it would ruin their lifes and probably end up doing it later on and thats my moral conflict with ctb and I decided to do it when their old enough, idk im so lost and empty

 

[Ghost2211]

Yes, my son would. likely my ex as well, but only out of guilt in his case

 

[Ko9]

Maybe my dad, knowing that if I went to go and got euthanized and going through that entire process... it would destroy him. I think that it would be him, if anyone would be destroyed by my suicide, it would be my dad. Either way, I can't feel sorry for someone that created life that sufferes endlessly. Sorry, don't care.

 

[LastWhisper]

Well, some people told that they will more likely do it right after me, but... you know, I'm thinking about my own death, and for some reason it does not keeps me from ctb anymore, it did sometime before, but now I don't care. I'm trying to imagine that I do care, but... I can't? Anyway I believe they can avoid it.

 

[Deleted member 94]

Everybody I know loves there lives more than even liking me, I don't believe I will be followed down the ctb route, some might throw a party for sure.

 

[Mimi79]

No, I don't think so...

 

[BPD Barbie]

I don't think so, but I wouldn't be surprised if my mother died of a broken heart. I know my death will be the death of her as well. Its hard knowing this.

 

[TooConscious]

Only unintentionally by consuming too much drugs or drink celebrating lol