I just read a post about another family member blaming this forum for their sister's suicide.
I was just curious really. Do you think your family may respond in the same way? If you want to, can you share why you feel they likely would respond in that way?
For me, I find it so hard to judge. I'm sure family members think I spend too much time alone- I spend pretty much all my time alone but my ideation was much higher when I was around others! But, anyway, that would play into the whole- they were lonely and vulnerable and got sucked into a cult online. (It's just laughable but- I know I shouldn't mock. I do realise they're hurting and genuinely concerned.)
I've also lived in a reasonably high functioning way. No psyche holds, no therapy or meds for years. No suggestion of a suicide plan, although I think they'd have to be stupid to miss the hints. I think it's more that they just don't want to face that conversation. It's kind of weird though. I think I'd be all over some of the hints I've dropped. But anyway, I think it might come as a shock to some- in which case, maybe people do start to blame outside influences.
There again, I think people really ought to have been able to tell I hated life. I've done enough complaining! Plus, I intend to try and give my reasons in my goodbye notes. I wonder if they make much of a difference. I wonder if that's a good reason to leave them though. In order our relatives don't start trying to look for blame here or elsewhere.
I even thought about writing as much: Don't go blaming the internet! Or thinking I was mentally unstable or coerced. If that had been the case- you completely missed it the past 35 years!
I also wonder whether relatives come here looking for people. We know some do. We've had at least two incredibly brave Mum's and a brother I believe come here to post about the relatives they lost. Some have shown incredible compassion and even thanks to the people who were kind to their relatives.
Really though, that would give them a fuller picture of why the person did what they did. Plus, if there really was any coercion going on. If there was then absolutely- they have a right to be all over it. A legal right I imagine.
It's so, so rare to see here though. Ok, we don't try to dissuade people who's minds are set using empty platitudes. We have 'helplines' for that. But still, if there's any hope left, I think so many members do make life affirmative suggestions.
Anyhow, this wasn't meant to be a 'defending the forum post'. Although, maybe it is. I truly believe placing blame here is misplacing the REASON they were suicidal. They may well have found a method here but, they could as well have found it from another site on the internet. They may have found that fewer people challenge their decision here also but then- that's probably why they chose to come here and stay.
I do actually wish these relatives would read their loved one's posts though. Even though it might be painful. Even though it might lay part of the blame on them. It isn't fair to blame a forum of coercion without knowing the full story and, providing proof.
I suppose this is a multiple question post really. Will your loved ones likely go looking for someone to blame? Will they blame the forum? Will they make the effort to find your posts and read them? Will they conclude you were coerced? Will what you've written shock them? Will it give a clearer idea of your motivations? Will they ignore everything you wrote and, still blame the forum?
I was just curious really. Do you think your family may respond in the same way? If you want to, can you share why you feel they likely would respond in that way?
For me, I find it so hard to judge. I'm sure family members think I spend too much time alone- I spend pretty much all my time alone but my ideation was much higher when I was around others! But, anyway, that would play into the whole- they were lonely and vulnerable and got sucked into a cult online. (It's just laughable but- I know I shouldn't mock. I do realise they're hurting and genuinely concerned.)
I've also lived in a reasonably high functioning way. No psyche holds, no therapy or meds for years. No suggestion of a suicide plan, although I think they'd have to be stupid to miss the hints. I think it's more that they just don't want to face that conversation. It's kind of weird though. I think I'd be all over some of the hints I've dropped. But anyway, I think it might come as a shock to some- in which case, maybe people do start to blame outside influences.
There again, I think people really ought to have been able to tell I hated life. I've done enough complaining! Plus, I intend to try and give my reasons in my goodbye notes. I wonder if they make much of a difference. I wonder if that's a good reason to leave them though. In order our relatives don't start trying to look for blame here or elsewhere.
I even thought about writing as much: Don't go blaming the internet! Or thinking I was mentally unstable or coerced. If that had been the case- you completely missed it the past 35 years!
I also wonder whether relatives come here looking for people. We know some do. We've had at least two incredibly brave Mum's and a brother I believe come here to post about the relatives they lost. Some have shown incredible compassion and even thanks to the people who were kind to their relatives.
Really though, that would give them a fuller picture of why the person did what they did. Plus, if there really was any coercion going on. If there was then absolutely- they have a right to be all over it. A legal right I imagine.
It's so, so rare to see here though. Ok, we don't try to dissuade people who's minds are set using empty platitudes. We have 'helplines' for that. But still, if there's any hope left, I think so many members do make life affirmative suggestions.
Anyhow, this wasn't meant to be a 'defending the forum post'. Although, maybe it is. I truly believe placing blame here is misplacing the REASON they were suicidal. They may well have found a method here but, they could as well have found it from another site on the internet. They may have found that fewer people challenge their decision here also but then- that's probably why they chose to come here and stay.
I do actually wish these relatives would read their loved one's posts though. Even though it might be painful. Even though it might lay part of the blame on them. It isn't fair to blame a forum of coercion without knowing the full story and, providing proof.
I suppose this is a multiple question post really. Will your loved ones likely go looking for someone to blame? Will they blame the forum? Will they make the effort to find your posts and read them? Will they conclude you were coerced? Will what you've written shock them? Will it give a clearer idea of your motivations? Will they ignore everything you wrote and, still blame the forum?
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Not that they even have any idea in the first place
