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- Feb 12, 2023
- 203
this is actually more of a rant than a question. i've been thinking about it in regards to my situation specifically, but feel free to answer the question if you'd like.
not being taken seriously is so annoying. i've been working towards this thing for so long. the people who have promised to help have been complete fucking morons about everything but i remained patient. now, i'm getting accused of not trying because of the mistakes of others. the ONE mistake i did make was a result of last night because i spent the night being manic and self harming until i crashed at 5-6am (going for round 2 tonight, i guess

). i ended up sleeping through my alarm and forgot to call someone. the mistake isn't even that bad and there are no consequences, but now i'm being treated as if i was just being lazy. i treated everyone else with compassion when they were fucking me over by legitimately just being lazy or inept, but i make one insignificant mistake and all of a sudden, they act like i don't care. i spent 2 months practically begging everyone else to fulfill their promises and help me, which they usually failed to do; but all of that means nothing because i made one mistake that doesn't even affect anything.
i had to quit the only thing that made me feel slightly happy and now people are questioning if i really had to. i explain the entire situation over and over again just for them to ask the same fucking questions that have already been answered. i've outrighted stated that it was the only positive thing in my life and i'm completely miserable all of the time without it, but i guess they assume that i'm just exaggerating.
there's no point in explaining myself, people are useless. even after killing myself, i doubt anyone will even attempt to understand how painful everything is for me. i wasn't really treated any differently after my last attempt—if anything, i was treated worse—but i really do wonder if people would be less fucking dense if they understood my situation/mental state.
idk if anything i said makes sense but it's whatever, we ball
not being taken seriously is so annoying. i've been working towards this thing for so long. the people who have promised to help have been complete fucking morons about everything but i remained patient. now, i'm getting accused of not trying because of the mistakes of others. the ONE mistake i did make was a result of last night because i spent the night being manic and self harming until i crashed at 5-6am (going for round 2 tonight, i guess



i had to quit the only thing that made me feel slightly happy and now people are questioning if i really had to. i explain the entire situation over and over again just for them to ask the same fucking questions that have already been answered. i've outrighted stated that it was the only positive thing in my life and i'm completely miserable all of the time without it, but i guess they assume that i'm just exaggerating.
there's no point in explaining myself, people are useless. even after killing myself, i doubt anyone will even attempt to understand how painful everything is for me. i wasn't really treated any differently after my last attempt—if anything, i was treated worse—but i really do wonder if people would be less fucking dense if they understood my situation/mental state.
idk if anything i said makes sense but it's whatever, we ball
