Do you think you ended up where you are now partially because of the people around you ?

[StillWaiting]

I grew up being treated like someone who doesnt exist by relatives from my father side and I learnt to hate people because of how shitty people are but still get what they want after seeing how my relatives live their lives.My mother always know how to guilt trip people to get people to do what she wants.

As I was kinda away from this forum for a few weeks, I spent time thinking about things and realize how I cant really believe that they are genuinely nice people in the world. I am not one either.

TLDR: I just think that the world is screwed up place to live in, I dont want to live in a world like this.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

no doubt about it.
I always got treated like a piece of shit, and my feelings don't matter. From my parents, classmates, and so called friends. Always ends up the same. The ONLY 1 who literally treats like I matter (irl) is my bf

 

[StillWaiting]

no doubt about it.
I always got treated like a piece of shit, and my feelings don't matter. From my parents, classmates, and so called friends. Always ends up the same. The ONLY 1 who literally treats like I matter (irl) is my bf

That's nice to still have a bf who cares about you

 

[Jayxtri]

Yes. Being a depressed introvert in this world is a curse. Nobody cares....

 

[StillWaiting]

Yes. Being a depressed introvert in this world is a curse. Nobody cares....

Sometimes it is worse to have people to pretend to care about you and give shitty advices like Look at the bright side of life or Things will get better

 

[Koal]

People have never treated me very well and I've always had a difficult time connecting with people. All the people I've tried to form connections with have ended up abusing my desperation and treating me like shit.

 

[Gucciii]

ABSOLUTELY, people will discard you like you are fucking trash even after spending months upon years like it was for nothing, the time was for nothing. People tend to not give a fuck anymore "you'll get over it" is all I ever hear

 

[StillWaiting]

People have never treated me very well and I've always had a difficult time connecting with people. All the people I've tried to form connections with have ended up abusing my desperation and treating me like shit.

It makes you feel even more terrible when you see people who treat you badly enjoy their lives

 

[Jayxtri]

The world is meant for mean and selfish people. It's like the survival of the meanest

 

[Tomoe]

Personally, no. I think I fucked up and put myself in a tough spot :P

 

[TAW122]

Yes, I do, in fact people around me have influenced me in various ways, sometimes positively and other times, negatively. I don't put the whole blame on them because I have made some shitty decisions in my life to get where I am today too.

 

[_milo]

I don't feel like people around me have driven me to where I am. I've only ever been in control of my life. I just don't want to be anymore.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

Nope. Nobody to blame but myself.

 

[N-IsMyHope]

Yes, mostly. My mom hates almost everyone in her life. She can't get along with people and we grew up with her negativity. It's unhealthy to tell your children how much you hate someone. She keeps doing that until these days. I think these negativity could be one of the reason why my sister has paranoid schizophrenia(suicidal) and my other sister has anger problem(sleeping pill OD but rescued). And, I will be the one who success with n. lol I feel bad her mental being this way...

 

[Jc40]

I think I'm to blame. I lost a support worker job because I took the blame for someone else's drugs and that put me on a different path but was suffering then too and made mistakes and wrong desicions my whole life. It's me that's led me to where am now and my thoughts.

 

[Tragoedia Vitae]

Oh you bet! I'm socially anxious because of bad experiences I've had with people in the past. And I am going to keep having those experiences for the rest of my life.

If there weren't any people around, I might still be depressed (because my depression is largely existential), but I certainly wouldn't be socially anxious because there would be no reason for it.

 

[Psilo]

Yes. Being a depressed introvert in this world is a curse. Nobody cares....

So damn true.

 

[Jean Améry]

For the most part yes. It was my parents' divorce, my father cheating on my mother and treating her like garbage and her subsequent alcoholism and suicide attempt that turned me into this. I was fucking happy and had a bright future before that so fuck them. Parents who mistreat and ruin their children deserve the hottest place in hell.

 

[StillWaiting]

Yes, mostly. My mom hates almost everyone in her life. She can't get along with people and we grew up with her negativity. It's unhealthy to tell your children how much you hate someone. She keeps doing that until these days. I think these negativity could be one of the reason why my sister has paranoid schizophrenia(suicidal) and my other sister has anger problem(sleeping pill OD but rescued). And, I will be the one who success with n. lol I feel bad her mental being this way...

Sounds like my mother. My mother talks about how bad people are and it makes me hate people too.

 

[Begemont]

To some degree yes, maybe. It's hard to speculate on this. When I had some hope still, I used to think it was more about the people. Had the circumstances been different I could have had a chance. Now I'm more skeptical of that. I'd say they definitely accelerated the process of me ending up here.

 

[Jean Améry]

I think I'm to blame. I lost a support worker job because I took the blame for someone else's drugs and that put me on a different path but was suffering then too and made mistakes and wrong desicions my whole life. It's me that's led me to where am now and my thoughts.

Of course I don't know your situation but surely it can't be just you? Life is very complex and I'm sure you tried to do your best with incomplete knowledge, probably dealing with shitty situations. If your circumstances had been different the outcome would probably have been different too.

We all play the hand fate gave us. Clearly anyone who ends up here has been dealt some pretty shitty cards.

 

[alizee]

Read about determinism and free will being an illusion. Society conditions people to think the self is at fault but that is truly never the case. People are too idiotic to undo social conditioning to realize their starting point being what they were born into is the only thing that mattered till death because nobody can alter fate. All your thoughts, feelings and outlook is outside your control. Your death is fixed even if you die by suicide that was your natural death and wasn't going to be any other way. Nobody is any different than the stars shooting across the night sky by external forces. People just like to believe otherwise because they're socially conditioned and some people are terrified otherwise.

 

[406metallicblue]

As usual it's rarely one thing or another. One of the underlying principles of western philosophy for two thousand years involves a negative perspective of humanity. The great works of literature often do the same. That people are ultimately driven by self interest and bizarre personal motives, and that altruism is a fantasy is nothing new in western culture.

I think we have choice but within the context of our experience. You might as well say that someone has choice in a prison cell, whether to sit around all day doing nothing or do fucking yoga or something. Someone in such a position is simultaneously a free agent and a prisoner. That's how i see our lives.

 

[alizee]

As usual it's rarely one thing or another. One of the underlying principles of western philosophy for two thousand years involves a negative perspective of humanity. The great works of literature often do the same. That people are ultimately driven by self interest and bizarre personal motives, and that altruism is a fantasy is nothing new in western culture.

I think we have choice but within the context of our experience. You might as well say that someone has choice in a prison cell, whether to sit around all day doing nothing or do fucking yoga or something. Someone in such a position is simultaneously a free agent and a prisoner. That's how i see our lives.

I disagree with your concept of choice. A person performing an act compared to another act is outside our control. All acts performed under the perception of the current moment are in fact just factored from the preceding moments and where birth was the only variable that mattered in triggering the linear progression of moments till death. The universe is a deterministic system and people just believe they're special compared to anything else they observe. You can't imagine a colour you've never seen before because you haven't received the variables to do so and similar to everything in life. A blind person is limited by the variables he/she takes in. Similar to everyone else. It's all just cause and effect.

 

[406metallicblue]

I disagree with your concept of choice. A person performing an act compared to another act is outside our control. All acts performed under the perception of the current moment are in fact just factored from the preceding moments and where birth was the only variable that mattered in triggering the linear progression of moments till death. The universe is a deterministic system and people just believe they're special compared to anything else they observe. You can't imagine a colour you've never seen before because you haven't received the variables to do so and similar to everything in life. A blind person is limited by the variables he/she takes in. Similar to everyone else. It's all just cause and effect.

You may well be right. An individual can only perceive things from their point of view. I also have a temptation to 'take a view' on the workings of nature but i think my view is only that, my view. Whatever i believe means nothing apart from what it means to me.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Yes. No doubt. Myself included.

Read about determinism and free will being an illusion. Society conditions people to think the self is at fault but that is truly never the case. People are too idiotic to undo social conditioning to realize their starting point being what they were born into is the only thing that mattered till death because nobody can alter fate. All your thoughts, feelings and outlook is outside your control. Your death is fixed even if you die by suicide that was your natural death and wasn't going to be any other way. Nobody is any different than the stars shooting across the night sky by external forces. People just like to believe otherwise because they're socially conditioned and some people are terrified otherwise.

I've concluded this myself and believe it to be true yet I can't help but blame myself and others. I mean it's not as bad as it used to be but from time to time I just feel I gotta point a finger at someone or something. I hate myself for it.

 

[Gucciii]

Yes. No doubt. Myself included.

I've concluded this myself and believe it to be true yet I can't help but blame myself and others. I mean it's not as bad as it used to be but from time to time I just feel I gotta point a finger at someone or something. I hate myself for it.

Theres no reason to hate yourself for seeing behind the masks people hid behind

 

[Jc40]

Of course I don't know your situation but surely it can't be just you? Life is very complex and I'm sure you tried to do your best with incomplete knowledge, probably dealing with shitty situations. If your circumstances had been different the outcome would probably have been different too.

We all play the hand fate gave us. Clearly anyone who ends up here has been dealt some pretty shitty cards.

Before therapy I blamed my parents. I remembered things they forgot. It's me that chose to hold on to stuff and make stuff out of it, it's me that did and didn't do things. I can't remember my childhood, I saw a post about memories here, my first memory was when I was around 9. I blamed them for not helping me, for knowing something was wrong but brushing it under the carpet and hoping it would go away but I realise now they didn't know what to do. They were professional people. Maybe nobody is to blame but really how is that possible.

 

[alizee]

Before therapy I blamed my parents. I remembered things they forgot. It's me that chose to hold on to stuff and make stuff out of it, it's me that did and didn't do things. I can't remember my childhood, I saw a post about memories here, my first memory was when I was around 9. I blamed them for not helping me, for knowing something was wrong but brushing it under the carpet and hoping it would go away but I realise now they didn't know what to do. They were professional people. Maybe nobody is to blame but really how is that possible.

Determinism illustrates how it's possible, every act is the result of the previous and with considering all the external forces sharing the similar rule.
I'll illustrate an example that's barbarically simple to understand. The common fallacy of Adam & Eve with the forbidden fruit and free will. God damning Adam & Eve for disobeying by the act of consuming the fruit and going against the almighty righteousness of the creator. The typical child is conditioned by the story to reinforce the words, "choice, self decisions" from the concept of free will and that's supposedly "given" to Adam & Eve by God. Otherwise the child will think God is at fault for creating the forbidden fruit and making it a possibility for Adam & Eve to get into trouble. Another child may say it's still God's fault because God gave Adam & Eve choice and is at fault. Typically people don't think that deep, they've been conditioned to think they don't want to acknowledge no choice as better without every thinking about it. The irony is we really don't have choice when you study the academic fields illustrating "cause & effect" conclusive science. Every act upon a system has consequences because all variables effect the system and no matter it being a subsystem inside another system. The creator doesn't even have free will once you unravel what determinism entails.

 

[Jc40]

Determinism illustrates how it's possible, every act is the result of the previous and with considering all the external forces sharing the similar rule.
I'll illustrate an example that's barbarically simple to understand. The common fallacy of Adam & Eve with the forbidden fruit and free will. God damning Adam & Eve for disobeying by the act of consuming the fruit and going against the almighty righteousness of the creator. The typical child is conditioned by the story to reinforce the words, "choice, self decisions" from the concept of free will and that's supposedly "given" to Adam & Eve by God. Otherwise the child will think God is at fault for creating the forbidden fruit and making it a possibility for Adam & Eve to get into trouble. Another child may say it's still God's fault because God gave Adam & Eve choice and is at fault. Typically people don't think that deep, they've been conditioned to think they don't want to acknowledge no choice as better without every thinking about it. The irony is we really don't have choice when you study the academic fields illustrating "cause & effect" conclusive science. Every act upon a system has consequences because all variables effect the system and no matter it being a subsystem inside another system. The creator doesn't even have free will once you unravel what determinism entails.

Do you know any easy to understand books I can read up on what you're talking about.? Thanks, I'm interested.