Do you think you deserve your misery?

[Moogle]

I wouldn't be surprised if we are living in hell right now.

Maybe we all died in 2012 and this is hell

 

[BlackDragonof1989]

Yes sometimes I feel I deserve my misery, while other times I feel I am just "woke" so to speak, and still other times, though this I think is the least frequently occurring of the aforementioned, I feel I am suffering from some sort of delusion or ignorance. I try to keep an open mind but it's usually a combination of these things I think.

 

[millefeui]

Maybe we all died in 2012 and this is hell

I have been in hell for longer than just 6 years, I am sure.

 

[Lrdhlpme]

A lot of this really resonates with me. Especially the part about trying to pretend things weren't happening. As well, being a betrayer. I hate myself and I do deserve this for the same reasons.

Apologies.. Maybe shoe those you hurt this comment.. they will understand how sorry you are and forgive you.... this coming from someone bullied in school to breaking point. If my bullies feel like you I would forgive them in a second

 

[Deleted member 847]

Nobody deserves any pain or misery, we are all victims. Every single person on earth

 

[Lrdhlpme]

Nobody deserves any pain or misery, we are all victims. Every single person on earth

Could not say it better... we are all victims, I imagine even rapist and murders feel like us

 

[creatureoflight]

No one deserves misery

 

[Lavendel]

I don't think in ways of "having done bad and getting punished for that".
I see a more rational and logical pattern combined with me being arrogant and lazy.
Maybe if I had focused on myself and not wanting to be someone else I might be someone else. Feeling something else. When I was in puberty I was catfishing people, running away from myself. Slowly but surely losing the ability to socialise in real life. And today ending up not being interested in anything but suicide. I dreamed of great things that were nothing but compensating things for my small self.

 

[lv-gras]

yes

 

[RaptorHavx]

Well a short answer: brutal determinism , there is no "deserving for"... It just had to go this way.

 

[Morning Angel]

I don't know if I deserve all of my misery but I can see how my past actions being so solitary and isolated led to this crippling place now. The social element I probably deserve but the rest I'd say no.

 

[imsorry]

I do. I ruined my life. I ruined my parents life. Everything we're going through i could've prevented.

 

[GodKnows]

If I wasn't running around the city and fucking strangers for money like a 16 year old with IQ 80, I wouldn't be here.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

A few years ago I'd say 'yes, I totally and completely deserve this'. I was a bully, jealous, sneaky. I needed to one-up people around me to reinforce my dwindling ego. I was... I was a pretty nasty piece of work, when you got to know me.

I think I've been behaving more sensibly the last few years though, so now it's a question of 'do I still deserve to suffer as a result of my past', or does time heal things?

 

[thetwilightzone]

If I wasn't running around the city and fucking strangers for money like a 16 year old with IQ 80, I wouldn't be here.

Elaborate please?

 

[LoverofDeath]

I deserve all of this misery and should have more of it.

 

[wezel]

There is absolutely no "deserving" in the bigger picture. Its blind coincidence. If you are born in a war ravaged country or
in a desolate place in Africa during a famine then you die.
If you are fuckface Eric Trump or a corrupt Oligarch then you will have millions.
If you are clinically depressed due a chemical imbalance in your brain you are fucked. Who deserves this ?
Does a 4 year old deserve dying of cancer ?
Of course if people do decent things they sometimes get 'rewarded' for it, but tell that heartwarming fable to the millions that perished in the
Stalin gulags or died in one of those endless wars...

 

[Midnight]

There is absolutely no "deserving" in the bigger picture. Its blind coincidence. If you are born in a war ravaged country or
in a desolate place in Africa during a famine then you die.
If you are fuckface Eric Trump or a corrupt Oligarch then you will have millions.
If you are clinically depressed due a chemical imbalance in your brain you are fucked. Who deserves this ?
Does a 4 year old deserve dying of cancer ?
Of course if people do decent things they sometimes get 'rewarded' for it, but tell that heartwarming fable to the millions that perished in the
Stalin gulags or died in one of those endless wars...

Perfectly described!

 

[Wantingpeace]

I have had this same thought. I am a little "worried" that my first attempt actually worked. And when I "woke up" I actually woke up in hell or some kind of fucking purgatory. Which means that nothing I do to escape will work ....

What was it like ..I'm experienicng constant nde experience after drug damage

 

[Okami]

Because of my many past mistakes and how I've still seemingly failed at learning from them and improving myself as a person, yes, I believe I deserve every bit of what I go through on a daily basis. Every time my mental or physical pain increases in severity, I tell myself that this is just what I deserve for being a horrible person.

 

[wezel]

Because of my many past mistakes and how I've still seemingly failed at learning from them and improving myself as a person, yes, I believe I deserve every bit of what I go through on a daily basis. Every time my mental or physical pain increases in severity, I tell myself that this is just what I deserve for being a horrible person.

We all make mistakes, some big ones, some small ones. And yes: many of us mortals lack the power to follow our goals through.
You are for sure not a horrible person because of this.
A horrible person is somebody who behaves arrogant, cruel and reckless towards other fellow human beings, not somebody who reflects on their own shortcomings.
Don't talk yourself down, there are probably already enough others that will do that for you.

 

[PhilistineEars]

I created my own self-reinforced miserable state of existence; I deserve what I built.

 

[strained03]

Yes and no. But I feel guilty.

 

[FadedMemory]

Yes because I pushed away everyone who tried being nice to me, I especially regret being hostile towards my high school classmates who tried their best to include me, all because I was afraid they will be like kids who bullied me in primary.
I don't deserve any more love or kindness, I missed my chance and everyone gave up on me.
Maybe one day I will be forgiven.

 

[Dead_Inside]

What was it like ..I'm experienicng constant nde experience after drug damage

Wow really? I should ask you what that is like.
I just have this weird feeling .... it's like nothing was quite right after that day. My friend's dog who loves me... when she saw me next after my attempt started growling and tried to bite me.
The sliding doors at grocery stores and department stores won't open for me anymore all of a sudden .... just weird stupid shit.
I mean I took way more propranolol than you need to die - I based my dosage off of autopsy reports. I can't explain what happened. If you don't throw it up - it has to effect you. It's a regular Rx drug ....
I am dead maybe. And it's not exactly what I wanted I guess.

 

[sadak_the_wanderer]

Most of my troubles have been externally imposed upon me. Perhaps I could be faulted for "not making the best" of my challenges.

Still, I rarely think of "deserve" or not. I'm a bug squirming on a pin jabbed through my thorax, mindlessly trying to crawl away from the pain, feeble little limbs scraping away at the black wax of the dissection tray. I don't know why I have been impaled or even have a good sense of what has happened to me. I'm not in a place to judge, or even process whether I have merited my suffering.

I'm not sure if anyone really is.

 

[CRM]

I don't think that anybody deserves misery, because everything we do is a reaction to everything that has happened to us. It's also why I don't feel vitriol for the people who have hurt me, because the same rule applies to them.

It's just a chain reaction that started a long time ago and won't end until everyone is dead.

 

[Mr2004]

Yes absolutely I do. It's why I don't want to get better

 

[AntiLifeEric]

No one deserves existence.

 

[Sidestep]

Yes because of a terrible mistake that I made in the past.