Discussion Do you think life would be easier if you didn’t care about anything?

[15dec]

I've always tried to be a caring person and look out for others but now I'm starting to think that life would be so much easier if I just didn't care about that. Maybe if I just got on with my own life and didn't care who was hurt (whether by something I've done or anything else) and didn't try to make amends or offer any kind of support things would be easier; I mean, that's what most other people seem to do and they're living their best lives. Sometimes I wish I could just 'turn off' my desire to help people and not feel bad when people I care about seem/are upset. I do more harm than good when I try to help people or fix things I've screwed up anyway so it'd be beneficial for everyone. I wish it was that easy to just stop giving a damn and start being a bitch.

Generally speaking, the community here is pretty caring and everyone seems to look out for each other. So, do you think your life would be easier if you didn't have any regard for others, or even if you were just a complete asshole to others? Do you think people who don't care and aren't nice have easier lives?

 

[Muri]

I don't think it's a choice to care about people or not. Maybe a choice to how much time and energy you put into it.

I will say if you do use the energy and time you're not wasting and put it into your studies, work, or anything to build yourself up. You probably will have a better life if money is what your after. But you really have to delve into the reasons of why you feel your life isn't easy.

But being rude to people for no reason will drive everybody and everything away. Those people do not have good lives. People who put themselves first have good lives.

 

[Pulpit2018]

I would imagine its certainly easier when you are a sociopath.

 

[ReadyasEver]

I absolutely agree with this. But ever since I was a little kid, a had this strong streak of empathy in me. It was very helpful and a curse all at the same time. I have no regrets though about caring and loving the people around me. My family and friends brought me a lot of laughter and joy on many occasions through the years. There was a lot of heartache and pain also.

 

[15dec]

I absolutely agree with this. But ever since I was a little kid, a had this strong streak of empathy in me. It was very helpful and a curse all at the same time. I have no regrets though about caring and loving the people around me. My family and friends brought me a lot of laughter and joy on many occasions through the years. There was a lot of heartache and pain also.

Same for me. I don't regret being empathetic, but sometimes it seems like people who aren't caring, or who are just plain mean, are living much happier and easier lives than I am, which is hardly fair but I guess that's life

 

[msexit]

I was also given the blessing and curse of caring too much and strong empathy for others since I can remember. It really hurt me in life, putting my own needs aside, putting others needs first. My family only conditioned me that this was my duty in life which made it even worse.

 

[RyanSuicide]

That's a hard one but I think people who don't care get through life easier. Psychopaths for example go through life much easier than the rest of us (no guilt or anything). There's a reason why it's usually only the nice people that ctb

 

[Rollo]

Well you see thing is - choice is not between you being 100% empathetic, spending your every last bit of energy to service others and you being totally indifferent to anyone's fate. It's much more selective one. Ofcourse every time you choose to care for yourself over caring for somebody else - you create easier life for yourself. And you also become more favourable to yourself. The only question is whether deep down in your soul you believe it's the right thing to do for you to be selfish in this particular way. Regardless of what everyone else thinks about it.

 

[LoNatural]

Osho has something to say :)

 

[Redt2go]

Not really. I truly don't care about anything ATM and it's worse bc I'm bored. Nothing interests me and im just waiting to die. The days are exponentially longer just makes me want to die more

 

[TAW122]

In some aspects, yes, but in others, no. This is because in your life, you have to interact with others (when you buy groceries (unless you use the self-check out), when you run errands, when you are working, and/or others around you (if you live with others)) to some degree. So yeah, if you burn your bridges with others, then life would become even more difficult than your current one (unless you've already burnt bridges). Therefore, I'd say one would care enough to get by and go through the motions, but not do more than what one needs to and put oneselfs' interests first.

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

If I could, I'd cut my empathy in half.
I get so much of this "second hand anxiety" thing it makes me want to die.
Dude gets angry at somebody else? I get worried too. Why? Beats me.
There's this kid I deal with who keeps me under his leash with suicide threats. Makes me wish I could tell him to go jump off a roof, and mean it.

 

[Rollo]

In some aspects, yes, but in others, no. This is because in your life, you have to interact with others (when you buy groceries (unless you use the self-check out), when you run errands, when you are working, and/or others around you (if you live with others)) to some degree. So yeah, if you burn your bridges with others, then life would become even more difficult than your current one (unless you've already burnt bridges). Therefore, I'd say one would care enough to get by and go through the motions, but not do more than what one needs to and put oneselfs' interests first.

Oh you better believe I'm using self check-out whenether possible - one of the greatest inventions of our time. I think if you care in order to solicit other's approval - then it's not a healthy care. Presonally I wouldn't ever care for anybody if I know I do it to pass as a nice guy. It's just I treat anyone with respect until they direspect me. This respect partially comes from my own interests and understanding animals and people are no joke, partially from me caring. But the caring part isn't there cause others want it like this, it's there cause that's how I trully want to live. Some may want me to be nicer than that - like I reserve the right to only smile back when I trully feel like it and not as a gesture. So many aren't cool with it and I actually had a dispute on the subject with one of SS residents who was totally not cool with it. But none of it matters to me cause I think it's them who are being disrespectful by strongly expecting me to smile back. Thus if somebody wants me to be something I don't want to and threatens to burn the bridge - he may not have a chance cause I will burn it first. I will burn the bridge, set up a wall and start drilling arrowslits.

 

[Aesthler]

Not caring completely sounds nice on the surface, but if you didn't really care about anything you wouldn't care about living or dying and you'd just be existing. I think life without drive sounds similarly miserable to caring and losing, at least when you feel you have highs that can take you places you never thought possible.

 

[Rollo]

If I could, I'd cut my empathy in half.
I get so much of this "second hand anxiety" thing it makes me want to die.
Dude gets angry at somebody else? I get worried too. Why? Beats me.
There's this kid I deal with who keeps me under his leash with suicide threats. Makes me wish I could tell him to go jump off a roof, and mean it.

When somebody near you gets angry at a guy and you get worried, it may be you worrying out of empathy for the guy on the receiving end. But it may as well be fear for your own safety. Because you know you may get it too when he decides to take his anger out on you.

You can cut your empathy in half or however you like it. When you wish to tell this guy to go jump off a roof - it's anger speaking. I don't think anger is generally healthy but here it plays important role - it comes from you caring where deep down you know you don't want to. Guy is abusing you, blackmailing you with his threats, and yet instead of cutting him loose (whatever it will mean for him) you attend to his needs.

 

[Broken]

I think it's the only important thing in life. To care about things and others and to be cared about. I'd happily remove certain horrible memories that have led me to depression such as letting people down by not caring enough. But when I had the oppurtunity to care and be cared for it was the happiest time of my life. Destroyed me that I threw it away. I have a little bit of hope that one day I will be able to give and receive care like I did during 2016, 2017 and 2018(the happiest time of my life)

 

[Rollo]

Not caring completely sounds nice on the surface, but if you didn't really care about anything you wouldn't care about living or dying and you'd just be existing. I think life without drive sounds similarly miserable to caring and losing, at least when you feel you have highs that can take you places you never thought possible.

True but OP means caring for others. You don't have to care for others to care about your own living and dying.

 

[Aesthler]

True but OP means caring for others. You don't have to care for others to care about your own living and dying.

This is true. I still would rather care about others than care about nothing or just myself. It's painful sometimes and not everyone is a person worth caring for, however I think that people are meant to be together, to help one another or to form communities and connections. So it gives a certain type of feeling you don't get anywhere else when you do make a proper human connection and care for someone else. Anyway don't read too deep into what I'm talking about I'm probably delusional.

 

[mattwitt]

I'd feel worse because I'd be faking it.

 

[Final Escape]

I would probably in jail lol! I have to care about things at least enough to stay out of trouble.

 

[azucaramargo]

Oh, so totally! I was reading about psychopaths who feel detached from many things...and some people with autism who don't feel emotional connections with people. I just feel if I were equipped with that ability to not care about being close to people, I'd probably be so much more successful/accomplished/independent)happy than I am now. Caring about sh*t is exhausting and counter-productive. Thanks for the opportunity to vent, OP.

 

[Redt2go]

Oh, so totally! I was reading about psychopaths who feel detached from many things...and some people with autism who don't feel emotional connections with people. I just feel if I were equipped with that ability to not care about being close to people, I'd probably be so much more successful/accomplished/independent)happy than I am now. Caring about sh*t is exhausting and counter-productive. Thanks for the opportunity to vent, OP.

This is not true at all please don't romanticize this. Caring about shit makes you human.

 

[Rollo]

This is true. I still would rather care about others than care about nothing or just myself. It's painful sometimes and not everyone is a person worth caring for, however I think that people are meant to be together, to help one another or to form communities and connections. So it gives a certain type of feeling you don't get anywhere else when you do make a proper human connection and care for someone else. Anyway don't read too deep into what I'm talking about I'm probably delusional.

No I wouldn't say you're delusional and many feel like you do. But I feel different. I personally don't find it neccessary to be helped, cared for. Not that I mind it but it's not something which is paramount to my life. What is paramount is to be free and non-compulsive in deciding whom and when to care for, and whom to deny such a priviledge.

 

[throwaway123]

I don't think that anybody is capable of not caring. We all feel something to some extent.