In my case I strongly doubt that. However, if I had enough money to live a comfortable life. Yes this would have the potential to save my life. My therapist/doctor at the clinic wanted to convince me to improve my relationship with my sister. I think his reasoning was she could provide me with money when I end up unemployed. Honestly, it feels dingy/paltry/shabby (don't know the righ word I think shabby is the best) to exploit my sister that way. My parents provide for me. But soon they retire and when they are dead so am I. My answer to the question. Beig rich certainly could save my life but I won't beg for money. Begging for money I have too much dignity for that. Despite I already lost a lot of dignitiy so far.
Some minutes ago I took my SN out of my locked box. I am not sure whether it was a mistake not to order two. The pressure to take will be huge in case I open the sealing. I am scared that it will be or already is impossible to order it to Germany again. I was not sure what impact holding the SN would have on me. I smelled at the sealing. I felt less anxious compared to the first time. The first time I was pretty anxious. My sleep also was worse. Just a few minutes ago it felt relieving. I went through so much shit. My situation is simply so utterly hopeless. I am so glad I have a peaceful exit. It gives me strength to go on. At least for a while. I could imagine killing myself in october. It is very likely I also have autism which in my opinion makes my suicide even more rational. There are so many very good reasons to kill myself. Autism makes it even harder to find a partner.
I still have things on my bucket list. And the most important point is true mutual love. But it is unlikely that this will be fulfiled.
I am in this clinic. And temporarily is helps somewhat. It stabilizes me somewhat. But longterm there are not many good reasons to continue this fight.
Therapists cannot help me much. The society had to change. And it feels naive to believe in that. There is the AI trend. There was a time I hoped in a UBI. But I so much pain in college. I think I am close to my absolute pain limit. The clinic should help to decrease the pain and increase my pain limit. In some sense it does that. But I have the feeling I am pretty far gone.
Some minutes ago I took my SN out of my locked box. I am not sure whether it was a mistake not to order two. The pressure to take will be huge in case I open the sealing. I am scared that it will be or already is impossible to order it to Germany again. I was not sure what impact holding the SN would have on me. I smelled at the sealing. I felt less anxious compared to the first time. The first time I was pretty anxious. My sleep also was worse. Just a few minutes ago it felt relieving. I went through so much shit. My situation is simply so utterly hopeless. I am so glad I have a peaceful exit. It gives me strength to go on. At least for a while. I could imagine killing myself in october. It is very likely I also have autism which in my opinion makes my suicide even more rational. There are so many very good reasons to kill myself. Autism makes it even harder to find a partner.
I still have things on my bucket list. And the most important point is true mutual love. But it is unlikely that this will be fulfiled.
I am in this clinic. And temporarily is helps somewhat. It stabilizes me somewhat. But longterm there are not many good reasons to continue this fight.
Therapists cannot help me much. The society had to change. And it feels naive to believe in that. There is the AI trend. There was a time I hoped in a UBI. But I so much pain in college. I think I am close to my absolute pain limit. The clinic should help to decrease the pain and increase my pain limit. In some sense it does that. But I have the feeling I am pretty far gone.
