In the olden days (back when dinosaurs roamed) OKCupid had the right idea. Signing up was free. You instantly had access to every profile in the area, so you could research and select as you wanted. Send messages to whoever you want. And if you felt inundated, you could simply filter out messages: you could ignore messages that were too short ('sup?"), messages that had NSFW content, or messages from users who weren't compatible with your goals and values, which you were able to fill out quite thoroughly.
Once apps hit the market and everyone got a supercomputer in their pocket, things changed. (OKCupid did, too, after they saw the money to be made) It all became about profit and watching the line go up, algorithms, etc. "Likes" and messages are hidden, unless you pay premium. You can't set filters, unless you pay premium. You can't change your location, unless you pay premium. Messages expire, you can't backtrack on an accidentally left swipe, etc. unless you pay premium. You only get so many likes a day, unless you pay premium. Depending on the algo, and whether or not you're a paying subscriber, the app may deliberately be hiding high-quality profiles from you, urging you to pay to access better users. They also "ugly-hole" you by showing you only the bottom-tier profiles if you swipe left too much -- because god forbid you be selective. By the way, apps often put in catfish profiles to entice you to keep swiping until you find them.
I can only speak from the perspective of a straight woman. They say that apps are a scenario where both men and women are dying of thirst: men are in a desert and women are in the middle of the ocean. I've heard plenty about men complaining about the apps to know their half is true. The other half is true, too. If I'm swiped on 200 times, I can almost guarantee all 200 are garbage. Men ignoring my hard-line preferences because they think they can neg me into a hookup. Men lying about their employment status, height, weight, location, age ("Actually 52, not 28, the app won't let me change it!"). Married/engaged men, with kids, looking to cheat and being extremely blatant about it. Men with domestic violence or SA convictions. There's actually a man in my area who infamously killed his ex by running her over with a car (she left behind a young daughter), he got bailed out by his dad, and then went right back on the apps. Men who insult me, threaten to hurt me, stand me up, mock me, and are incredibly rude and dismissive. And that's just not counting the boring, one-word conversationalists, or the egotists, the misogynists, the fake profiles, the profiles with nothing at all, the guys admitting to lying about putting in their profile that they are looking for a relationship -- because the women looking for hookups aren't up to their standards, and all the "quality women" they want to bed are looking for relationships, and they're hoping they can wear them down and nag and pressure until they give in.
(This isn't to say that men don't have problems on apps as well. Please spare me any "Well ackshually we still have it worse!!" retort unless you, too, had a man threaten to break into your home to SA you and violently kill your parents and cat in front of you because you weren't interested in a second date)
The developers don't care. THEY DO NOT CARE! Again, it is all about money, and making the line go up, these days. I do know some people who met their spouse off of dating apps. They are a tiny minority of people I know on the apps, but it is possible. But the apps are doing nothing to get you there. They are not "designed to be deleted." They just want you swiping, hoping to find just one person you're interested in, punishing you if you're interested too much or too little in your potential matches. They shittify their apps every year to try to push you toward that endless, expensive subscription -- and they are EXPENSIVE. Especially for so few features as they give.
Is it theoretically possible for them to succeed? Maybe, if they went back to the original OKCupid method. Let everyone view all the spread at one time. Dispense with the "maybe I'll hit the lottery on the next swipe!" cope by letting them immediately reach out and get turned down, or not. Let people see if their values actually line up, or if the other user is just lying because they're looking for a quick hit. But not enough money to be made that way. Gotta keep the turd carousel spinning.
