Do you talk about your suicidal thoughts to your closest ones?

[saturn1402]

i never dealt with mental health issues until a year ago (and most real and acute phase 4 months ago). It all started because of a very very bad heartbreak and betrayal trauma.

While at the beginning I talked about it cause I never experienced it before so I really wanted to be understood.

But now I mostly talk about it cause I want people to know what I am going through and also I don't want them to be caught off guard when i will CTB.

But I wonder if I am crazy and selfish for being so open cause I normally hear sentences like 'we had no idea he/ she was suffering'.

Am I burdening people by telling them how I truly feel? Should I keep it for myself now on ?

 

[sximii]

My family and close people know because of my history of being in psych wards a lot, it's been like this for years. It's always your choice if you talk about it, of course it's good if you trust the people and you feel better with those feelings off your chest. It is absolutely NOT selfish!! However you need to understand who you wanna tell. Don't just tell everyone. Make sure you trust the person fully, and you know they don't have bad intentions and that they won't react in a way that will negatively affect you. It's important that you make wise choices about who you tell. But no matter what, it's never crazy or selfish to be open. If someone tells you that you're a burden for opening up about your sufferings, that person is a straight up toxic ass. Just be mindful of who you tell, for your sake

 

[bellicose]

I used to be an open book about my struggles but now only one person knows how bad things are. I guess I'm just tired of talking to people and hearing the same well-meaning but unhelpful replies. I used to be ashamed of myself for how much I would divulge so easily and wished I was the sort of person that people would say "we had no idea" about. I thought those people were somehow better than me, maybe less emotionally turbulent and more stoic. Recently, I've realized that I was more willing to divulge back then because I had hope that talking to people would somehow help me. Now, I'm more hopeless than ever and keep more things to myself as a result.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

No, I wouldn't ever tell them as I don't want them to prevent me from killing myself

 

[HelloDarkness25]

Hell no, they have enough on their plate, I don't need to be adding to that. For me, it's protecting them by keeping my silence.

 

[saturn1402]

Hell no, they have enough on their plate, I don't need to be adding to that. For me, it's protecting them by keeping my silence.

I wish I would have been so considerate but instead I chose to be selfish :(

I adrmire your choice to stay silent… it must be hard

 

[Warkman1]

I haven't expressed my feelings or internal struggles to those close to me, in part due to fear. Fear of what they'll say, fear of how they'll feel and fear of what it might do to my relationship with them. The other main reason is that truthfully, I can't find the words.

 

[areyousafe??]

I suppose by closest ones you are referring to family...no, I don't. I don't have a good relationship with my dad (we ignore each other), my mum is overbearingly controlling and don't know how to provide emotional support, and my sister wouldn't care less if I died.

My mum is aware as she found my diary, made a photocopy and provided my doctors with it without telling me.

I find it hard to speak to even close friends about it. I don't want them to judge me. They know I struggle with depression, but they don't know in depth. The only people I talk about suicide with is here, with Sasu members, where I am free to unleash my thoughts without fear of censorship (like Reddit where they remove your posts) and fear of hospitalisation.

I recommend you speak with a psychologist who will be able to help. It is nice to be able to speak with loved ones about it, but they often don't know how to help.

 

[slinkey10]

i never dealt with mental health issues until a year ago (and most real and acute phase 4 months ago). It all started because of a very very bad heartbreak and betrayal trauma.

While at the beginning I talked about it cause I never experienced it before so I really wanted to be understood.

But now I mostly talk about it cause I want people to know what I am going through and also I don't want them to be caught off guard when i will CTB.

But I wonder if I am crazy and selfish for being so open cause I normally hear sentences like 'we had no idea he/ she was suffering'.

Am I burdening people by telling them how I truly feel? Should I keep it for myself now on ?

No chance , used to not any more - i understood I was in a cycle of telling ppl even strangers, then getting some sympathy which 'can' make you feel momentarily better (dopamine etc some small hits from brain chemicals activating due to a small release of pressure - you just talking abt it) but... then that passes and you feel emptier than before you disclosed. :(

 

[divinemistress36]

My mom I have but she doesnt take me seriously even though she has dealt with depression but hers went away. Ive opened up to a friend who has mental health issues to sometimes he understands.

 

[mirisasofia09]

It depends on the relationship you have with them. If you have faith you can talk about it and especially if you hope for a recovery. If you are really determined, avoid talking about it to be stopped

 

[slinkey10]

My mom I have but she doesnt take me seriously even though she has dealt with depression but hers went away. Ive opened up to a friend who has mental health issues to sometimes he understands.

Thats hard... you're mum having depression but overcame it & came out the other side not being empathetic..... eye roll ..

Im happy you have someone though & sometimes understands - I work in MH & see so many who have no one , like literally no one..

 

[HelloDarkness25]

I wish I would have been so considerate but instead I chose to be selfish :(

I adrmire your choice to stay silent… it must be hard

Please don't make it harder on yourself by comparing yourself to others, you just wish for suffering to stop, that's all

You said it all started a year ago, do you think you can give medications and therapy a try? Don't keep it to yourself, talk to a therapist, you will not burden them. Sometimes it takes trial and error, but you can find professional to talk to about what brought you to this point

 

[LostLily]

Told someone about prevents attempts and she just shouted at me for being stupid

 

[krqnet]

no, nobody knows. the last thing I want to do is inconvenience others with my own struggles

 

[grid zer0]

i never dealt with mental health issues until a year ago (and most real and acute phase 4 months ago). It all started because of a very very bad heartbreak and betrayal trauma.

While at the beginning I talked about it cause I never experienced it before so I really wanted to be understood.

But now I mostly talk about it cause I want people to know what I am going through and also I don't want them to be caught off guard when i will CTB.

But I wonder if I am crazy and selfish for being so open cause I normally hear sentences like 'we had no idea he/ she was suffering'.

Am I burdening people by telling them how I truly feel? Should I keep it for myself now on ?

yeah. ChatGPT knows I want to

 

[hybridtheory]

I've only told my therapist, but I've known her for over 5 years — so, she doesn't jump to sending me inpatient immediately. Thankfully.

In the past I told a few people I was close with, but I think I'm more serious this time around, so the less people that know, then the better off I am at succeeding.

I think you just have to go with how you're feeling at the moment. If you want it off your chest, then I would advise you to tell someone that you trust to listen to you thoroughly.

 

[NonEssential]

Pretty much everyone in my family knows somewhat. Some because I kept on referencing suicide in "jokes" and some because I one day felt so bad that I just had to tell someone.

 

[Arrival03]

No, They'd probably just make fun of me for it.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Not really. a few very close individuals, but that's all

 

[nomoredolor]

i never dealt with mental health issues until a year ago (and most real and acute phase 4 months ago). It all started because of a very very bad heartbreak and betrayal trauma.

While at the beginning I talked about it cause I never experienced it before so I really wanted to be understood.

But now I mostly talk about it cause I want people to know what I am going through and also I don't want them to be caught off guard when i will CTB.

But I wonder if I am crazy and selfish for being so open cause I normally hear sentences like 'we had no idea he/ she was suffering'.

Am I burdening people by telling them how I truly feel? Should I keep it for myself now on ?

I'm so torn about this myself.

After my attempt some people were blindsided. That opened up conversations about it. I am making an effort to keep some of the closer ones informed so that they aren't caught off guard. I don't have it in me to discuss with my parents beyond sharing I'm still struggling with depression. And I feel like it's a balancing act because I can't compromise my plan or risk getting sectioned. So I am honest I have those feelings but clear that I either have no plans to act or say that they're down the road and I'm making Alive plans too. And I tell them things could change. Which is technically true but I'm mostly saying it to put them at ease.

And then I worry that they will blame themselves if I share too much. In my note I am careful to say that there is nothing anyone could've done to save me and that they shouldn't feel any guilt. That won't magically fix their feelings but I think it will help in the long run.

I feel like by sharing I am making them worry for months before I Ctb. Would they be better off in the short run with ignorance is bliss? But in the long run better that they saw it coming? My loved ones were all angry with me when attempted that I wasn't reaching out to them for more support. And more honest with them. It was a very frustrating and alienating experience.

I really can't tell you what to do here and have probably muddied the waters by giving you more to think about, sorry.

Anna

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

I tell my wife openly that I'm suicidal, we're separated so we just communicate through chat messages and I don't get into details. She's practically useless at being supportive, so I'm only venting with her, it's not a proper conversation. I don't really have anybody else to talk to except my parents, they know I'm suicidal but I never talk about it with them.

 

[Fritz]

I had one close friend of almost 40 years; we could talk about anything. Then he stole $5000 from me and we haven't spoken in 20 years.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

It's an immediate ticket to the psych ward or an argument for me, so no.