do you take care of yourself even if youre gonna ctb?

[puppybrained]

i eventually plan to ctb, maybe not right now but one day. i think sometimes when i do things that are bad in the long-term, i tell myself it doesn't matter because i'll be dead when it catches up to me. what made me think of this is that i listen to music really loudly, i don't like being able to hear my thoughts and the heavy music feels really good when it's loud. people around me scold me for doing this because they say it'll damage my hearing in the future, but i just dismiss it for the reason i gave. maybe i should actually put some effort into what little life i have?
do you try to take care of yourself in the time you have, or are you more lax about your long-term health?

 

[TomorrowNeverComes]

When I originally planned to ctb, I did everything with a fuck all mentality, drank more than I could take, neglected my health, spent large amounts of money without reason, pushed everyone away, just stupid shit that looked good to me in the moment but not in the long run. "Who cares? I'm going to die, right?"
When I couldn't bring myself to end it all, I pretty much had nothing. I had to drastically change everything about my life to make it back to where I was before, and now living that same life that I hate is harder than ever.

I would advise you to take even just a little care of yourself because you never know what could happen.

 

[puppybrained]

When I originally planned to ctb, I did everything with a fuck all mentality, drank more than I could take, neglected my health, spent large amounts of money without reason, pushed everyone away, just stupid shit that looked good to me in the moment but not in the long run. "Who cares? I'm going to die, right?"
When I couldn't bring myself to end it all, I pretty much had nothing. I had to drastically change everything about my life to make it back to where I was before, and now living that same life that I hate is harder than ever.

I would advise you to take even just a little care of yourself because you never know what could happen.

thank you for the advice. this is somewhat of my fear. i haven't done it yet, what if i really do change my mind? i probably should do more for myself with that in mind, even if it feels easier not to. i'd hate having to pick up the pieces later.
i hope you're doing better now, i'm glad you're still here.

 

[Defenestration]

I neglect myself a lot... and they make me look lazy

 

[Twiceler]

Are you sure it's not self-harm? Lack of self care primarily means no washing in weeks, or more. It's easier to harm than to care, but those are not mutually exclusive.

 

[TakeMeToHeaven]

well I exercise every week to relieve stress

 

[sugarb]

i eventually plan to ctb, maybe not right now but one day. i think sometimes when i do things that are bad in the long-term, i tell myself it doesn't matter because i'll be dead when it catches up to me. what made me think of this is that i listen to music really loudly, i don't like being able to hear my thoughts and the heavy music feels really good when it's loud. people around me scold me for doing this because they say it'll damage my hearing in the future, but i just dismiss it for the reason i gave. maybe i should actually put some effort into what little life i have?
do you try to take care of yourself in the time you have, or are you more lax about your long-term health?

I try to avoid feeling icky and getting so unhealthy/unclean others find it concerning, but otherwise I don't care.

I'm not doing anything irreversibly harmful to myself (just missing the odd shower/meal) so if I change my mind for some reason I've got no worries

edit: Btw I like your pfp. Also, have a nice day/night!

 

[Forever Sleep]

To an extent, yes. I still need to work to support myself so, I need to be fit enough to do that. Last year, I just got so overweight and unfit, everything was so much harder. So, I've made more effort this year. It's mainly because my CTB isn't exactly imminent though. I want to wait for my Dad to go first. So, a lot of what I do and hate (exercise, domestic crap, working my arse off) is so that things don't actually get worse for the time being. The whole greater good thing.

 

[Cress]

Yeah I still brush my teeth and take showers and feed myself appropriately. Just because you're going to pass away at some indeterminate time in the future doesn't mean you should stop taking care of yourself. Nobody deserves to suffer and it should never be encouraged anymore than necessary. If you stop taking care of yourself life will just be more miserable in some capacity for you.

 

[madoka]

for me, i still do take care of myself. trying to lose weight, for reasons, brush teeth, shower, etc. when i die, i hope to have done some things i havent before and most of it needs me to be thinner and healthy !

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't plan to CTB anytime soon rn but I take care of myself - probably less than the avg people out there but also not to an extent that I deteriorate. I wouldn't say I'm neglecting myself. I go on living like I do for many years, long before I became suicidal.

It would be a disaster if I suffered additional problems on top my the problems I already have.

 

[cherrylace]

taking care of myself is the closest to a routine I could get but it works

 

[EternalSummer]

my personal experience with attempts in ctb is that you absolutely have to be feeling good, calm and at peace with your decision. The days after binge drinking for example are the worst, your mind turns into a complete mess, so yeah, take care of your self, eat some clean food and do some exercizes. In the best case you'll be feeling so well that youll actually want to give another shot at living, in the worst case, you'll feel more at peace with your decision to ctb.

 

[Suicidal_manlet]

You should make it a poll tbh

 

[Exitwings]

i eventually plan to ctb, maybe not right now but one day. i think sometimes when i do things that are bad in the long-term, i tell myself it doesn't matter because i'll be dead when it catches up to me. what made me think of this is that i listen to music really loudly, i don't like being able to hear my thoughts and the heavy music feels really good when it's loud. people around me scold me for doing this because they say it'll damage my hearing in the future, but i just dismiss it for the reason i gave. maybe i should actually put some effort into what little life i have?
do you try to take care of yourself in the time you have, or are you more lax about your long-term health?

Oh I thought you meant short term when I saw the title.

Yeah, I've definitely stopped caring about long term consequences. But that's half "I won't be in this body by then" and half "I can't prioritize a hypothetical future over my current health/quality of life", which has to do with my chronic illness and chronic pain.

Alcohol, vaping, mixing drugs, stuff like that. I'm just in so much pain.
(Note: I don't consider long term risks, but I do consider short-term ones. It's honestly very little alcohol (because sensory issues), limited vaping (because it does a weird thing to my throat when I do it too much) and very small careful-ish experiments with drugs.)

Short term, however, I absolutely do. My priority at all times is to feel less awful, which requires a lot of meatsuit maintenance. I also continue to do things for long term maintenance and/or gains because I'm the kind of person who needs to prepare for everything. I didn't stop these things right before my CTB attempts because if I succeeded it wouldn't matter and if I didn't I'd be a bit fucked lol.

 

[hawkshorizon]

No.

 

[willitpass]

I don't do anything good for me. Everything I do is awful for me and I do it in the hopes that it will kill me if I don't get to it first. I have a very strong suspicion that if I don't CTB I have already shaved at least 10-20 years off of my life with the combination of self harm and lack of self care. I actively seek out ways to make myself worse off. I loath myself and can't see any reason to do things that will only add to my life expectancy.

 

[divinemistress36]

Sometimes I eat good and exercise and I'm obsessed with skincare

 

[cowboypants]

i eventually plan to ctb, maybe not right now but one day. i think sometimes when i do things that are bad in the long-term, i tell myself it doesn't matter because i'll be dead when it catches up to me. what made me think of this is that i listen to music really loudly, i don't like being able to hear my thoughts and the heavy music feels really good when it's loud. people around me scold me for doing this because they say it'll damage my hearing in the future, but i just dismiss it for the reason i gave. maybe i should actually put some effort into what little life i have?
do you try to take care of yourself in the time you have, or are you more lax about your long-term health?

I'm kinda depressed or numb from the meds right now. I just do the basics. I have some leeway with exercising and stuff. I don't want to be in a bad shape.

 

[CatLvr]

I try but with my pain issues it's literally hit and miss. Like I felt decent this morning, even though I was up at 3 or 4 this morning, but mid-morning I started tanking HARD. Headache so bad I was blind in my right eye, back pain so bad it was hard to breathe, yada yada yada. Took everything I could and watched the noon news. Ah-HA!! Weatherfront dropping down from Kansas. Changes in the barometric pressure make me want to suck-start a shotgun. Good golly Miss Molly I wish I could OD on my pain pills. OH HELL!! It still wouldn't matter -- not until the last of my critter babies finds a home or passed of old age. SHIT!! I'm gonna be here another 25 years. Fuck me ...

 

[Cyagangy]

i eventually plan to ctb, maybe not right now but one day. i think sometimes when i do things that are bad in the long-term, i tell myself it doesn't matter because i'll be dead when it catches up to me. what made me think of this is that i listen to music really loudly, i don't like being able to hear my thoughts and the heavy music feels really good when it's loud. people around me scold me for doing this because they say it'll damage my hearing in the future, but i just dismiss it for the reason i gave. maybe i should actually put some effort into what little life i have?
do you try to take care of yourself in the time you have, or are you more lax about your long-term health?

Yep! Gotta look good before and after they burn me.

 

[whotookmylexapro]

I can barely function properly due to my mental illness but i still make the attempt to try to live normally. I was working full time and a full time college student but i recently quit my job because it was too much. I try to study whenever im not feeling terrible which is rare but still. I try to atleast brush my teeth once a day and shower whenever possible. I forget to eat a lot of the time but atleast it helps me lose weight.

 

[VeryShy]

I try to live as usual until the day when death comes.

 

[bestroper]

sometimes

 

[VoidedExistence]

Short term things like bathing, I have to do because I feel horrible if I don't for a few days. Things like eating healthy, I can't because there aren't much immediate short term effects. I eat junk food a lot, I listen to loud music, I lie in bed all day due to which my back is in horrible state it is constantly in pain. I have accepted it as a part of life because I don't care about myself a lot.

 

[Manfrotto99]

I go to the gym and lift weights most days and eat fairly healthy so I'm able to do this. Its time out where I listen to music and don't think about suicide or anything other than challenging myself to lift heavier and keep form so I dont hurt myself. Also as im an intermediate lifter, I feel its the only thing I'm able to do that Ive not a complete failure at. I have health problems but not like some on here who are in physical pain and Im grateful I can do this. I only take drugs to help me sleep and for anxiety to get through the rest of the day. It's my coping mechanism until the time is right to cbt and I overcome my SI.

 

[aipuweth]

I don't study, don't have a job, don't try to socialize and bla bla. Just spending my all day at computer. I rarely take a shower because who cares? I'm not even going outside, lol. I'm not complaining tho, I hate outside. I hate people in real life.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

Sometimes I eat good and exercise and I'm obsessed with skincare

I LOVE skincare :)

In general I'm minimizing everything - clothes, furniture, life goals, and am doing the minimum to keep going so it's less to think about but it's very hard to strike a balance. I need enough survival and sustenance to plan CTB but I don't want extra joy and distractions to keep me from the plan. This is the only place that understands this. I am so lonely and would do anything to have one person in my life in person to talk about this with and help plan and research. Planning the ending while having to 'live' for it is destroying me mentally.

 

[lucifer_yoo]

No it's the opposite. I used to care so much about my life now I fucking lost it. I self harm by fucking myself more mentally everyday so that I'll be able ctb more easily. I don't think I can save myself anymore. Seeing lot of people suffering here like actual suffering and me on the other hand wish my life was given to one of y'all who deserve it. I just find more and more reasons to kill my self everyday wasting away and fucking up a beautiful life given to me. Sad part is I've been suicidal only for 6 months. I know I'm pathetic. But I wish I could've cared when it mattered the most. I don't wanna fuck up anymore honestly and hurt myself anymore. Only solution is to down that SN waiting for me with a heart full of regret and a tear in my eye.

 

[GuessWhosBack]

I LOVE skincare :)

I'm obsessed with skincare

Morning:

1. Warm rinse
2. Cleanser
3. Cold rinse
4. L-ascorbic acid
5. Chill for 2 minutes
6. Moisturiser with SPF 50

Evening:

1. Warm rinse
2. Cleanser
3. Cold rinse
4. Retinal
5. Chill for 2 minutes
6. Moisturiser

Am I doing this right

Also as im an intermediate lifter, I feel its the only thing I'm able to do that Ive not a complete failure at.

Progressing on the big 3 always brings me some happiness.